To NOT take my 2 DD's (age 5.9 & 2.8 yrs) to My Granny's Funeral ?

[IcantbelieveImForty]

That's it really. I don't think I should take them because a) their Granny will be crying b) other people may cry c) DD1 will probably ask in a loud voice "are all these old people from olden times?" (Great Granny was 85). d) I think they are too young.

My mum would really like them to be there, but I suspect it's because others may say they are cute (or similar)
I need to be there to support my mum, not have to look after my little monkeys.

yanbu
can they go to the wake afterwards though?

well one of them could, depending on times, as the other one needs her afternoon nap. We are about 60miles from the event, so it's not like I can leave them at home & then collect them.

have you a partner who could bring them along to the wake?
the 2.8 year old might sleep in the car on the way? to be honest at that age it seems a bit precious not to take them just because of missing out on a nap (to the wake that is, I can see why you don't want them to go to the funeral)
sorry for your loss xx

YANBU. Definitely too young for a funeral IMO.

It's a very harrowing time and brings up a lot of questions they might not be ready for yet.

Seeing you and Granny upset will only upset them. Not worth it just so people can coo over them I would say...

Anyone who takes a child to a funeral needs to ensure that there is someone who is there just to look after them and take them out if necessary.

My mum refused to take my then 10 year olds brother to my Grandad's funeral as she knew my Dad would fall apart and she needed to be there for him, not my brother.

My 5 y o didn't go to her cousins but she went to the wake. I think going to the wake did her good as she got to talk about how she was feeling with other children, who also went to the wake but not the funeral.

I think the funeral itself would have been a bit much for her, tbh.

My DD's would be the only children, as there are no other great grandchildren etc. (I'm the only grandchild too)

I'm not sure DD1 really understands death at the moment, so no crying or sadness from her, although she has seen my mum (her granny) crying about it over the weekend.

DD2 very rarely sleeps in the car & if I took them, we'd stay over night at my mums. DH would have to take the day off to look after them. Assuming the wake started about 12 ish, DD2 would be desperate for her sleep & as she normally sleeps for at least 2 hours, it would all be over by the time she wakes up....

Maybe I could ask MIL to look after DD2 at our house & then take DD1 with me ?

I took both DD's to my granny's funeral at 2.4 and 10 months. I wept, all of my family were in tears. It was a cremation and the coffin was in the room during the service.
I took stuff to keep them amused (books, crayons cars etc) and they were fine.
There were a few children there, as the whole family was there there was no-one to watch them but DH could have taken them out if necessary.

We took DD1 to DH's grandma's funeral at 16 months wiht me heavily PG. There was a full service, a creamtion adn teh wake. DH was a pallbearer, all of his family were in tears. DD had snacks and toys and was again fine. she asked a few questions abot what Daddy had and where he was going but no dramas, I could have taken her out if there was.

I can understand if you don't want them there but I was glad I did have them both times, and MIL and my mum said the same. It was nice to see that teh granny's families were continuing on.

What I'm saying is wakes are fine with kids. If you are not comfortable wiht the funeral then don't take them, or make sure there is soemone who can take them out and play outside with them.
under 3 was ok as they didn't really realise they were somewhere different, over this age and it would be harder i think.

thanks for replies. I spoke to my mum about it & she is now fine, having had a day or so to think about it.