to be mad at my mum for these scandalous illegal actions? What should i do!!

[AliceMumma]

For 22 years my mum and dad were married, me being the oldest of 7 kids. They were both Christian and Dad was "The head of the house" and would make me and mum wear long skirts, no tv, no radio, home schooled etc.. But in general he was a good loving hard working father and husband that worked hard to support the family of 9.

Then i moved out at age 16 cos didnt get on with Dads rules, and then mum and dad moved to Aussie taking all of my siblings.

Mum had no friends and Dad would work all day
then get home and complain about the mess etc.

Mum made friends with my 15 and 17 year old brothers friend (she was 45 at the time and is 49 now) and ended up constantly sneaking out to see him and ended up sleeping with him!!!! I went to visit in the middle of it all, and never have i seen my Dad shed a tear, but he was brokenly crying in front of me... He tried for 6 months to make it work but she kept lying and sneaking and so he left. He lives in Aussie still and has an American girlfriend.

She is now back in NZ and has 4youngest kids and is so irresponsible.

Her actions have included:

Leaves 12 year old to babysit 6 and 8 year old at night when she parties]

Hired a stripper for my brothers 18th birthday

Supplys alcahol to minors and got banned from the bottle store

Partys with the teenagers

Lets my 13 year old sister have sex with her 19 year old boy friend, and let him move in. (Mum gave her the pill and just warned against geting preg as mum had a baby herself at age 14)

Slept with more young guys(another one being another brothers friend)

Smokes dak, has a few shots,and drives with the kids in car at midnight (she got breathalised that night but was only a youth fail for the alachol)

Asked me to cut all their hair 1 week after i had my second child and was shocked when i asked her to bring dinner over in exchange

Has big fake boobs that she flaunts and wears tiny hot pants to my dd's second birthday

Refuses to think theres anything wrong with her actions!!!!!

Seriously, its EMBARASSING! My dh has the most normal family ever and so did i until a few years ago....!!!

'The last 4 years of the relationship Dad loosened up, got her the boob job and a radio and tv and let her wear what she wanted, but it still wasnt enough for her.'

Let her wear what she wanted!! How magnanimous of him!
He should never have been controlling what she wore in the first place. She seems to me a deeply unhappy woman and needs outside help.
It isn't usual for 16 yr olds to leave a happy home with loving parents, especially if they have been home educated and have no experience of coping on their own. You have already said that you left because of your father and yet you expect her to stay and put up with it.
Have you tried talking to her , without being judgemental? She may well be having a nervous breakdown.

Do you mean that she gave up her first baby for adoption?

yea she gave her 1st baby away coz too young. then had us 7 to dad.

Yes ive talked to her, im never judgemental to her face, but she seems to think shes all good. She might be, but the kids arent. They just sit on nintendo all dsay and the house is a PIG STY with dishes and filth and curtains always shut and barely ever a proper dinner cooked, as mum just sits on the net when she gets home

She needs help AliceMumma. She was having sex at 13yrs-had to give away a baby, maybe just blocking out the emotions, and then was in an emotionally abusive marriage for over 20yrs. Was your father much older? He seems to have treated her like a child. It wasn't his place to let her do anything, if she wanted to to do it it was entirely up to her.
She isn't suddenly going to be the mother that you want. Has she got anyone her own age to talk to? Probably you aren't the person to help-could you get someone else to get her to seek professional help?

Can SS help with the childcare issues? There is something a bit wrong there. Kids need a mother not a mate

The other stuff? Well it would make my skin crawl if it was my mum (not an image I can quite handle TBH) and I can sympathise, but not illegal.

Could you just keep away from her?