To think that my dh should read to my dd every now and then

[steviesgirl]

Ok, so my dh is a very busy man, and he gets very tired. But I think it's a bloody poor show that he's NEVER read to her in the near 3 years she has been on this planet. Even my father and FIL have read to dd. In fact he's never been that hands on with her at all. I think he's only changed her nappy once since she came home from hospital as a baby.

It just concerns me sometimes. I'm worried that's she's not going to have the same bond as other kids do with their fathers. I do mention it to him at times, that I think it'd be a good idea for him to read to her, as I'm the only parent that does, but it never materialises.

I appreciate his life is at times very stressful, but AIBU to think that if he can find the time to do an OU course in the evenings and go to skittles, he can also find time to read with our daughter?

No you are not unreasonable. How about asking him to take her for an hour every now and then and then increase the time little by little? I think that if they are left with the responsibility on their own eventually they find the time to do things because they learn those things are enjoyable. However, if you do it always for him, there is no reason for him to think that his involvement is so crucial.

Does he read himself?

Certainly. He's doing an OU course, which obviously involves a lot of reading.

I think the more important thing is that he and your DD spend time together doing something they both enjoy. Seems less important that it's reading. What would he most enjoy doing with her? (Building lego tower, doing playdough animals, playing a game, playing football in garden/park?)

That said, if you're talking about the bedtime story, it does sound reasonable that he'd take a turn at that in any case ... and if he did, he'd probably love it. Kids are so easy to love when they are clean, pajamaed and snuggled up in bed about to go to sleep!

Also, some parents (Mums included) find the v. young baby and pre-school years harder and come into their own as their DC grow older. Maybe their joint interests will flourish over the next couple of years.

If she is 3 then he is on borrowed time. She will soon be demanding that he reads to her. As education is obviously important to him, he will presumably listen to the books she brings home from school.

it is a shame and i'd feel the same as you but she will likely start demanding he reads to her... or maybe put the bug in her ear by mentioning 'why don't you see if dad wants to read to you.' then it will be on her mind. my BIL is illiterate and is on disability for it (he's a deadbeat) and although he can take courses for free, he doesn't, and has never read to either of his kids (in fact, he doesn't do much of anything but eat, smoke pot and lay around watching tv all day).

Can you maybe make it a night-time thing? DH reads to DS every night as part of his bedtime routine. DH very much enjoys this time with DS, as does DS. I read to DS before his naptime during the day.

If you had DH read a story to your DD each evening, then he could plan around it, as it would then be part of his normal routine.

Me and my children's dad are not together any longer but when we were together he very rarely read either child a bedtime story. Now when they stay at his dd reads to herself (and her brother sometimes) and ds watches a dvd before bed.
I do agree with Lady Penelope though - there is no point in him doing it if it isn't something he enjoys.

if he's never done it, how does he know if its something he would not enjoy

if he tried it, complete with funny voices and silly faces where appropriate and saw how much she loved it, it would become his favourite thing to do