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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my niece to visit?

14 replies

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 00:45

I did a buffet at Christmas, and I stupidly/drunkenly in a goodwill sort of way invited my sister amongst others. She came, with her daughter (my niece). Hmm - it was fine until my niece sat there, (drinking my wine and eating my food) criticising my decorations. I had had wine by then, and started getting quite stroppy - well, it's my house, and they're my decorations, so if you don't like them, I am sure there are other more tasteful places you could be?
Sister and niece eventually left and we haven't really spoken since - not out of animosity, we just don't normally chat. OOer - I have another buffet planned for Easter Sunday. Eldest DD (29), her DH , DS and DD are invited. I spoke to my Mum and told her that she is expected as well. I thought that was it - sorted, until my sister phoned asking what Easter Eggs the DCs would like. Shit, shit, shit. Sister is bound to come on Sunday to give eggs to DCs, and that would be fine, but I bet my snotty niece will be visiting her Mum (my sister) right then.How on earth can I get rid of them PDQ? Help.

OP posts:

purpleduck · 08/04/2009 00:50

How old is your neice?

Sorry, I am of the "the more the merrier" camp. Family is important, even the PITA variety.

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 00:55

She is 27

OP posts:

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 00:57

purpleduck - even the ones who are rude to the point of making me grind my teeth?

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 08/04/2009 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeMySonAndI · 08/04/2009 01:02

Are you really getting into a family problem because she criticised your Christmas decorations?

Is there any possibility she may LOVE your Easter decorations and with that avoiding you from stranging yourself from your sister?

Are the Christmas decorations still offended? probably they don't really care so it is not really important to get into this for them...

MadamDeathstare · 08/04/2009 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 01:08

MadamDeathStare - hehe - funny and tempting!
No, I don't mind her coming, I do mind her arrogant snottiness. Yes, she will come without being invited. Maybe she won't find anything to criticize this time. I live in hope that a few more months will have knocked some corners off her, but my realistic side says "no hope".

OP posts:

MeMySonAndI · 08/04/2009 01:13

If she criticises you again, how about saying something like:

-My decorations, my choice. Here, have a sandwich.

She may get the message

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 01:19

MeMySonAndI
It has nothing to do with the Christmas decorations per se - I invited someone into my house, gave them food and wine, and then they had a look around and made criticisms. Is this the behaviour of a polite guest? Or someone that you would ever want to invite back?
Have you actually read what I posted or are you just determined to have your say?

OP posts:

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 01:27

MeMySonAndI - Have just read your recent post - I think you know where I'm coming from now?

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MeMySonAndI · 08/04/2009 01:31

Sorry, but I read your post, this is my say... If you want everyone to agree with you, perhaps posting in this topic (or mumsnet) is not exactly the right choice.

Obviously, you can choose not to invite me to your thread next time, but... considering my bad memory, I may forget who you were and show uninvited as your niece.

So... they are bringing eggs to your DC which means they care for your family. could you concentrate on that and give them another chance?

MeMySonAndI · 08/04/2009 01:32

and obviously... I have just crossposted!

Original poster

ShyTalk · 08/04/2009 01:56

No, of course I do not expect everyone to agree with me - no reasonable person could or should ever expect that. I welcome everyone's opinion - just because its' not my opinion does not mean it is wrong or invalid - just different. That is why we post on here - to get different views and opinions. I think that your later posts have been really helpful but not the earlier one.

OP posts:

Eve4Walle · 08/04/2009 06:51

If you don't want them to come, tell them. Don't dress it up or hide it from them.

My brothers both piss me off by behaving in a similar way to your niece really, last year I invited all my immediate family and some close friends to lunch on Easter Sunday, and both brothers spent loads of time moaning about the fact that there was no Stella for them to drink and that they had to seat on a gareden chair in the dining room cause we ran out of decent seating etc etc. Everyone came (all 14 of them), ate me out of house and home, drank all my wine, let their kids wreck my house and then fucked off again and I've not had an invite back to either brothers since, and that was a year ago. But that's families for you!

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