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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think of moving my DD from her nursery to a childminder?

35 replies

Ewe · 07/04/2009 19:34

She has been at nursery since September (she is 13months) and has settled in really well and seems to enjoy it.

However, she is constantly ill. There has not been more than one week where she has been "well" since she has started and I am sick of it, my employers are sick of it and despite her very happy temperament I am sure she must be fed up of being ill all the time too.

Would it be reasonable to move her to a childminder on this basis? I just don't know what to do, a huge part of me doesn't want to move her because she appears to love nursery but on the other hand her being sick all of the time is really taking it's toll.

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 07/04/2009 19:36

What type of sick?

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/04/2009 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LucyTownsend · 07/04/2009 19:40

Poor dd! Why dont you have a look at the cms in your area and see what they are like - ask specifically about their illness policy and how many times they have been off sick.

You may find that your dd gets used to the bugs going round the nursery eventually but be aware that there will be bugs at a cms too, as she will usually have children from another family there too.

Its YOUR choice - if you think she will be better off at a cm then send her to one, it is entirely your decision.

rubyslippers · 07/04/2009 19:42

why would she be any healthier at a CM?

My DS was like this initially at Nursery and it did settle down - it is very hard but her immune system will settle down

a CM will have exclsuion policies just like a nursery

do you have a partner who can take time off as well?

dmo · 07/04/2009 19:45

hi i am a childminder
if your child is happy leave her as she is just building up her immune system chances are that she will get the same germs at a childminders as childminders are out and about at different toddler groups etc every day.

i remember when i worked as a nursery nurse every new nursery i worked in i fell ill with something

Original poster

Ewe · 07/04/2009 19:45

We have had:

Norovirus
Rotavirus
Chest Infection
Pneumonia
Bronchiloitis
Conjunctivits x 4
Chicken Pox
Several other tummy bugs & general colds

I just worry that maybe it is the nursery, maybe they aren't good enough hygiene wise etc. My Mum seems to think it is nursery and my employer suggested I get a nanny (Hah! If they want to give me a payrise, in a second).

I have been back at work 7months and in that time I have had just 4 weeks where I have been at work all week and haven't had to take a day off/leave early due to DD

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 07/04/2009 19:47

DS's list in his first 8 months was:

2 bouts of brochiolitis
D & V
chicken pox
measles
various weird temperature thingies
conjunctivitis
impetigo

so i feel your pain - do you have a DP who can also share this with you?

Original poster

Ewe · 07/04/2009 19:48

I have been told by friends that childminders don't tend to have as many bugs as they aren't exposed to the same number of pre-schoolers and therefore not as many germs?

My partner does his best but when he is at work it is very hard for him to leave, it is much easier for me to leave early/work from home but he does help out where possible.

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 07/04/2009 19:54

i am not sure - i know a mix of friends who use childminders and nurseries and there has been very little difference in terms of sickness levels

i think she may be coming to the end of it all - DS seemed to get more robust as he got older

(sort of your DD's age)

see how it goes and don't make a hasty decision

Original poster

Ewe · 07/04/2009 19:57

Maybe I will give it a bit longer then! It doesn't help that when I asked nursery they gave me the impression that all the other babies and toddlers hardly get ill at all.

Glad to hear your DS grew out of it/got a stronger immune system - did you do anything or give anything to encourage this?

OP posts:

mrsgboring · 07/04/2009 20:05

The majority of children I know aren't ill to this extent - though I know of two in two separate nurseries who are (and others at other nurseries who are not). One of the nurseries where my friend's DS was constantly ill like this recently failed its Ofsted over several issues including hygiene concerns .

Your list sounds like a lot of illness and it is certainly not necessary to suffer all that to build up your immune system.

I would maybe have a good look and chat to other parents at your nursery to see if you think procedures may be slipping. And see if you can get an idea of how much other local kids of the same age in different settings are getting sick (because it may just be all going round your whole area and nothing to do with nursery)

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 07/04/2009 20:11

thing is, if it is her immune system, as it were, and she is prone to picking up every little thing, things like D&V and conjunctivitis will exclude her from the CMs too.

if she is happy and settled, i would leave things be for now, and hope her immune system gets stronger, which it will

rubyslippers · 07/04/2009 20:20

i think it was just an age thing

apparently i was the same as a child

he is now 2.9 and i cannot remember the last time he was ill

Original poster

Ewe · 07/04/2009 20:44

I was quite a sickly child, I remember two years where I was sick every birthday and Christmas so I guess it could just be an inherited weedy-ness I still am pretty sickly and often get whatever it is she has a week or so later, which does not help.

I am quite good friends with another Mum who has a DS of the same age and he has had NO sickness at all and is her second child at the nursery so I think she thinks I am really pfb. I have heard of other parents lying and taking kids in when they have been ill etc so maybe they are not being strict enough with this.

DD is always quite grubby when I pick her up but I guess I just think of that as part and parcel of her being at nursery as opposed to hygiene issues. Would it be ridiculous of me to take in some type of anti bac handwash/wipes for her? Is there one suitable for kids? They also use flannels and I worry that these might get muddled and spread germs so I could ask to take in my own.

It has recently been inspected and is excellent so everything is ok by ofsted standards.

Argghhh, I just need to win the lottery!!

OP posts:

Botbot · 07/04/2009 20:50

DD is 2.8 and has been at nursery since she was 6 months old. In the first year of being there, she was constantly ill and DP and I had to have loads of time off work. The second year, she's been absolutely fine - hardly any illnesses at all. Her immune system has been well and truly built up. So my advice is to hang on in there - it will get better.

Eve34 · 07/04/2009 21:29

My Ds has been at the childminders 2 years now - wow where has that time gone, other than the odd cold and teething he has had 1 case of DV.

Maybe he is just a tough cookie :-)

(goes of to touch some wood)

princessx2 · 07/04/2009 21:37

My DD1 is in nursery and has been since she was 6.5 months old. In the first few months she had a runny nose and coughs and colds etc but once she had been there for a bit of time, it settled down, She has only ever 'caught' hand foot and mouth disease from nursery and side stepped chickenpox on more than one occasion for her to eventually get it on a flight home from Menorca.

Second daughter is just about to start and she is 7 months old and has just got a snotty nose from being at a local creche for a couple of hours once a week while I did some training, but I was expecting this, with her mixing with other children. She had a horrible cold at Christmas which she caught from me!

Its part and parcel of them building up their immune system and if they get these now, it hopefully means less time off school when older.

frazzledgirl · 07/04/2009 21:42

DS has been at nursery since he was 8 months old, and I so know what you mean.

On Christmas Eve I was sobbing with exhaustion because DS (now 20 months) was ill for the fourth time in six weeks (and had given it to me, for the fourth time in six weeks).

He's had:
Chest infection
Ear infection x2
Several vomiting bugs
Viruses (multip[le)
And cold after cold after cold after COLD

Christmas was a nightmare because he spent all night, every night, with a horrendous barking cough, keeping all three of us awake.

Today I realised that I actually can't remember the last time he was properly ill. He has a little sniffle at the moment and is teething, but it's really nothing.

Hoping like hell we've turned that corner I keep hearing about!

ccpink · 07/04/2009 21:58

hi
my little girl is at a childminder who is fabulous and she has still been ill. I don't think they get quite as many bugs as less children but still go to toddler groups with childminder so are still exposed. I was like frazzledgirl at Christmas and felt like I couldn't cope with more illness but it's just peaks and troughs. I can see that childminder might be slightly better for you, or maybe just a different nursery? Could you just look around a few to check out the contrast in hygiene?

eskimum · 07/04/2009 22:10

That is a long list of illnesses to have had in that time span. If she's having one virus after another wonder whether she's becoming run down...have you asked your dr's advice?

My dcs went to cm and never had that level of illness, and haven't picked up much at school either, dd has only had 2 days sick since starting school in sept. I know everyone is different but I would say it's unusual to be ill that much.

frazzledgirl · 07/04/2009 22:12

Actually, a friend's LO started at nursery a bit after DS and has been even sicker. Dr said when they're that small, they get run down and can't quite come back for a while ISWYIM.

She's been OK for a few weeks, though. Think my friend kept her off for a week to let her recover properly.

tryingtobemarypoppins · 07/04/2009 22:13

What about when she starts school? Better to get the bugs all out the way now I think.

spicemonster · 07/04/2009 22:13

I can only go by my experience and of course if your DC is smaller then they are going to pick up more stuff than they do when they're older but my DS is definitely much less ill since he went to CM. Actually, come to think of it, I've only taken one day off since August when he started when he was 17m.

He got about 3 bouts of conjunctivitis at nursery, was hospitalised with bronchiolitis for a week and I can't remember how many days I had with him home with colds.

mamadoc · 07/04/2009 22:55

That is a horrific list of illnesses! poor you and poor DD
DD is just 2 and has been at CM since 9mo and in all that time been off once with an ear infection only.
I do think she is ill less often than my friends children at nursery. Actually one of my friends moved her DS from nursery to CM because he was forever ill and she has found it a lot better.

Dillydaydreamer · 07/04/2009 23:13

It really will not make any difference TBH. Whatever childcare you use in the first year they will be ill lots because they are being exposed to lots of new germs.
I CM and my dd2 has been ill constantly with a cold/cough since I stopped bf at 6mths because she has been in contact with my mindees and every other child at activities we go to/friends we visit and other CMs. It will get better and believe me its better now than if at school.
If you want bug free the best option is probably a nanny, not because she will be ill less but the nanny can still look after her in her own home.

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