to be just a bit cross that all ds wants to do is play on computer or watch TV, ....

[clumsymum]

trying to get a plan together for tomorrow, I'm working and mother's help has him.

Friend who was coming to play is ill, I've suggested swimming ("oh nooooo" ), asked what ds wants to do and he just says "watch TV" or "Computer". I'm limiting time on these of course, which makes me a meany.

I've had to chivvy him to do other things as it is today. The only other activity he'll consider for tomorrow is the cinema, another screen based activity.

Is this 'only child-itis' ? or normal 9 y.o. syndrome? How do you get round it.

sounds normal to me.

My 9 year old has to be dragged from the house, kicking and screaming!!!

Pretty normal, I would say allow for a certain amount of veg out time, but actively encourage other types of play and activities which may well involve dragging them out.

I agree. I often have to drag my children out with me. I AM the big fat meanie!

Sounds normal to me too.
My 9 and 11 yr olds moan like mad if i mention going out.
DD1 and DD2 on the other hand want to go out!

perfeclty normal

lie and say tv/computer is broken

take them to the park

Sounds normal to me, sorry! I have always found that they need getting out with a crow bar but then love it once they ave "made the break"! How about just telling him what he is doing?

Perhaps you could build the screen time into the plan? I would be tempted to tell him "We are going to the swimming baths tomorrow so you can choose to have your X mins tv time first and X mins computer time after or the other way round, would you like to look at the listings to see if there is anything you particularly want to watch?"

sounds normal

i also limit tv - we watch a bit after breakie and a bit now after tea

tell him thers a power cut tomorrow - unplug tv and bet he will find other things to do

im mean but it was a glorious sunny day so its nice to be outside in garden/on bikes etc

I have a DS who sounds exactly like that although if he can't watch telly or play computer games he will at least read but getting him out of the house is a right pain.

I was going to start a thread on what exactly 8/9 yr olds play with as DS doesn't seem to have any ideas and I want to offer alternatives. Sounds like maybe they don't play at that age?

You know, I've just had a thought ....

What would happen if we actually let them have a full day in front of the screens ?

Maybe they'd get bored with them, and beg to be able to do something else ....

or would their heads explode ?

Their heads don't explode. I tried, as an experiment, letting ds1 having as much time as he liked on the xBox. I think I hoped that eventually he'd get sick of it. Nope.

Although, when I called time on the experiment and limited it to one hour, he did confess that he preferred it that way as he appreciated it more.

I think DS would think he'd died and gone to heaven if I let him spend the whole day doing screen based activity. Sadly I don't think it would bother him at all.

It is sad though isn't it.

I just get sick of arguing about it, esp when I've got other things to get done.

My 9yo ds exactly the same

When with a group of friends they're quite happy to go off out together and play, but after a while they sneak back home to have a Runescape session to recover from the shock

Offering alternatives doesn't seem to work. I have to unplug and DEMAND that he does something else, either outdoors or play game with me indoors.

Did we get equally obsessed with anything when we were 9?

I think we just had fewer options. I'd watch the whole of Saturday morning Swap Shop - start to finish and end up completely bog eyed. But then it finished and there was nothing else on for kids, so I'd have to do something else.

Now there's so many options, computer, constant Cartoon Network, Wii... I've refused to get him a Nintendo DS because he's already got all this.

Yes Mary, I've vetoed the idea of a nintendo DS altogether, it's too portable, too accessible, we'd never get him away from a screen if he could take one with him.

I'm considered a real meany cos I discourage him spending gift money on new Wii games, cos the more games he has, the longer he will want to play on it.

Hmm I'm a laptop (MN) addict, I'm not sure I can make any comment.....

Seriously though, limiting the time allowed to play on it per day (or per week is even better, as they tend to use it all up quickly!!) is the best way, then they HAVE to do something else and then going out becomes of some interest!!

If it's nice enough, why not a Go Ape type of place with a friend??

my parents have been looking after my 2 while I work and it drives me mad to come back to find them sitting in front of the tv or playing on the pc when its lovely and sunny outside .... I know my parents think I'm a real meany boring uptight mother but I just have this thing about it. I plan to tell the kids in front of my parents tomorrow that they can have X amount of telly and thats it and hope that the parents get the message ....

oh youhavegottobekidding, I know how you feel. When ds was very little I realised that my mother's definition of him being good was that he had sat quietly in front of the telly all day.

I didn't realise this until I had to go away for 2 days work when he was about 3, my mum came to look after him. I rang up in the evening to find he'd been a very good boy, had watched a bob the builder video all the way thru TWICE that afternoon

Hiya! How are you?!

Mine (9 and 11) have spent loads of time on 'screens' this hols. Normally we limit things quite draconianly, but it's holidays! We are going away on Sunday for the week, dh is working this week, and I'm busy busy decorating and so on.

So I'm just letting the boys chill out and relax. (Oh and ds1 has completed a long homework too, which took about 4 hours in total). I'd prefer it if they played out more, but they are not really into that atm.

I try and get them out of the house - to the library or shops from time to time, and they are generally OK with that, though not enthusiastic.

For us the key is to give them advance warning. So over breakfast I discuss with them my plans/thoughts/intentions for the day so they know what's coming and it's not a shock.

youhavegottobekidding - can you not just ask your parents to only allow them x amount of time on the tv/pc, or do you think this is asking a bit much of your parents who are doing you a favour?

You can always hide the PC lead

Clumsymum - does it have anything to do with your Mothers Help - would he rather not be seen out in public with her? You know what kids can be like.... is she somehow not someone he wants to be seen with?? (LOL I had an Aunt I loved as a child, but tbh hated going out with her as she was SO loud and embarrassing and of course, people though she was my Mum and I didn't like it ).

My DS(!!).......computer...out to play....in, telly...back out......in, I ask for a few jobs to be done....tantrum....back out to play....in with friends, on play station....and on...and on...and on......

circle of a boys life.

All of the 'in' bits involve winding 6 year old sister up who had previously been playing contentedly...

sigh.......

i think we need to relax with the choices our children make in how they spend their leisure time-its THEIR time.During term time, theyre at school, then theres homework, after school clubs etc.It feels like the choices they can make, are being limited all the time-what they should eat,no sweets,where they should play,(theres been a thread debating whether children shoulod play in the street-some think its vulgar-and, no, im not talking about the little boy playing in the street himself and unsupervised), and now we are debating/moaning about what they want to play with.During holiday time, my children please themselves how they spend their day-we do try to arrange a couple of trips out-but, they watch tv,play pc/wii/x-box/or they will go out and play with their friends-but there is no time restriction on these things,and, you know what, they are all sociable children with friends and their heads do not explode, if they spend all day watching tv or on the pc.Yes, probably, we did play out more when we were children, but, the point is, we did not have the same TV channels there are now, or have pcs/wiis/x-boxes,and so it is natural children will spend their time differently to how we did. My children watched tv when young, and videos-Bob-the-Builder included, and they are all bright despite being allowed/encouraged to. It also seems a bit mean, to allow your child to have a wii, and then actively encourage them not to buy new games for it with what I presume is birthday/xmas money-one less choice,and it is their money-how would we like to be told how to spend money gifted to us? To me, its like people saying dummies are bad cos they delay speech, or bottle feeding isnt as nuturing as breast feeding. Its about how you as parents do these things-you talk to your children, make them feel loved and nutured and while your child may have a preference for a certain activity, you let them know, that there are other activities out there if they would like to try them. By the way, may get flamed for this, but seems a bit rich, to have someone look after your DC, and then be irked they are being allowed to watch/do things you may not allow yourself-unless of course, you are paying them vast amounts of money.