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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are all year 2 girls 2 faced and attention seeking or just DD's school?

49 replies

karise · 07/04/2009 15:15

Observed DD playing with her friends yesterday & in the park last week. Friends were kicking or pushing to get attention from mum and generally trying to get each other into trouble with 'Mum, x just pushed me!!!' etc.
Is this normal year 2 behaviour? I never remember them being like this a year ago & I know at least 2 other mums who have told their DD's to play with the boys because the girls are too catty and I am really beginning to think I should do the same! AIBU?

OP posts:

Daffodingles2 · 07/04/2009 18:51

It's the girls who try and chase the boys here as well dab.
Now in yr 4, the boys just look at the girls as if they have dropped in from a different planet.I expect that will change again in another yr or 2
ds2 in yr 3, is still v happy to be chased

screamingabdab · 07/04/2009 18:57

Daffy my DS1 (8) gets genuinely upset at the way some of the girls treat each other - he just can't understand why they are nasty to their friends.

He gets chased by a year 1 girl, who gets him on the floor and kisses him. He pretends to HATE it, but when he doesn't know I'm watching, I've seen him loitering near her ........

pointydog · 07/04/2009 18:58

stereotypes abound on this thread.

The dynamics of every class are very different but there can certainly be a similar amount of teasing, fallings out and exclusion of others among boys.

So far, I have found the worst time for friendship issues and jostling for position (among boys and girls) to be yr 5 and 6. Everything peachy in yr 2 and 3.

Let's not split girls into a group of bitches and boys into a group of good eggs. It's really not true.

Takver · 07/04/2009 19:18

I have a dd in yr 2, I would say none of the 10 girls in her class are like this . . . sure, they all have their moments (dd included) but overall they're a lovely bunch, if rather loud en masse.
Of course, who knows what will happen in yr 3

Daffodingles2 · 07/04/2009 19:19

no-one is saying that pointy, and groups of boys have plenty of downsides and I'm more than aware of them, but ime, at our school, the whispering campaigns are a girl thing.
Mind you, it could be the boys do it aswell but they just don't tell me about it, they only grunt

pointydog · 07/04/2009 19:19

I think quite a lot of people have said exactly that

Daffodingles2 · 07/04/2009 19:23

but this thread is about the problems with girls, not with boys. There are many millions of those on MN, but this isn't one of them.
I've mentioned this on MN before, but at our last school, which was tiny and there were only a handful of girls in yr 4, relations became so bad between them the school had to call in an outside counsellor to come and talk about it. She then drew up a contract for all the girls to sign, so it definitely does happen.

pointydog · 07/04/2009 19:27

All I'm saying is that this is not just a problem with girls. It is a problem with a group of children.

I don't think the fact that only girls are involved in the op makes this a girls-only issue. If it happened with boys, it could be handled in a similar way.

Daffodingles2 · 07/04/2009 19:28

fair enough,..
as I've said I've only seen it in girls so can only comment on that.

QOD · 07/04/2009 19:36

Well, turns out it wasnt quite so rosy LOL, miss aggressive had her little brother there and was insistent that he was "it" with her. Which meant that he and she trapped people in a walk way
snort
They DID all fall out however, as they are now yr 5,birthday girl handled it and stopped them being "it" together
Ain't life complicated when you are 10!

Hulababy · 07/04/2009 19:37

The school I work at has a friendship charter for all the children to sign. They go through it and sign it in the first week of each new year.

In that schoo it is the boys who cause the most payground issues at presnet, esp in my Y1 class (am a TA). Lots of aggressive play but also an awful lot of telling tales from them.

Def not just a girl issue.

screamingabdab · 07/04/2009 19:52

fair point pointydog

I don't wish to stereotype. Stereotypes are foisted on boys quite a lot and I tire of it.

screamingabdab · 07/04/2009 19:57

I was not, for my part saying that girls are bitches and boys are good, merely that girls do IME fall out possibly more, over possibly different things.

I also wonder if the kind of bullying that is going on in DS1s year between some of the girls is not being spotted.

peanutbutterkid · 07/04/2009 19:57

DD is in Yr2 and does not have problems like OP described.
We bumped into 2 of her peers in the park today, not currently good friends of DD although one used to be. All played together nicely.

Original poster

karise · 07/04/2009 21:15

You are completely right abdab! It may look like the boys always chasing the girls, but you can bet the girls asked for it! It's just the few girls who don't get involved I feel sorry for always being treated badly by both sides!

OP posts:

mrsruffallo · 07/04/2009 21:21

There is usually a little group of girls like this.
Then there are the nicer ones.
If my daughter hung out with the catty ones I would be worried about her behaviour too.
I do not for one minute believe all girls are like this.

tengreenbottles · 07/04/2009 21:29

depends on the school system ,yr 2 is top of the pile in infants ,therfore expect cocky ,arguing ,contrary little minxes . Go to yr 3 and become bottem of the pile in juniors ,expect a bit more forelock tugging and all round little fish in big pond mentality she says with fingers crossed !!

smugaboo · 07/04/2009 22:03

Hmm, stream of conciousness here ...

Maybe look at it like this ... girls are beginning to interact with each other on a more emotionally complex level than boys at that age. Because of their emotional and intellectual immaturity, this interaction may manifest itself through conflict/jealousy. Only the immature/insecure carry that manifested behaviour through to adulthood.

By labelling this behaviour as 'bitchy' (with its female connotations) aren't we setting up an expectation for future behaviour that is self-destructive? Does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy?

New label - "are all year 2 girls 'emotionally complex' or is it just at my daughter's school?"

screamingabdab · 07/04/2009 22:11

smaugaboo Interesting

I don't know really,but I do think that girls this age tend to invest more in their social relationships than boys tend to.

For instance, I think boys tend to give less of a toss about things like Birthday parties

surreylady · 07/04/2009 22:21

Nope - DD Yr2 - Girls school - get on really well together of course there are moments of debate but not for us as you describe - hope it doesn't change.

Mumcentreplus · 07/04/2009 22:26

...hahaha

allthoseeggsaremine · 07/04/2009 22:53

You know what, i don't think they ever get any better, they have good times and bad but always ups and downs

screamingabdab · 08/04/2009 07:30

and a handlebar moustache ...........

HSMM · 08/04/2009 07:32

Yes. And they're like that until about year 5/6 when they start practicing to be moody stroppy teenagers.

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