to think that DP should give up smoking because he promised to do so...

[AliBean]

When DP and I discussed having a child together my only stipulation was that he needed to give up smoking as I don't want him doing so around our child.

He promised that he would and has since made 2 fairly half arsed attempts to do so.

I am now 18 weeks pg (see - I kept my side!) and he seems to be smoking more than ever. He doesn't smoke in the house or in the car if I am with him but he stinks like a polecat (a smoking polecat!) and the car smells when I get in it and its vile...

Also he smokes rollies and all his paraphanalia (sp!) is all over the place... usually with a lovely scattering of tobacco all over the kitchen sideboard....

It is driving me mad and I really wish he would just get on with it and give up...is there anything I can do/say or is he just being a typical lazy bloke?!

Well, in my experience saying anything is counter-productive (but, then, my DH is a contrary bugger). I think you can only be there to support him if he really, really wants to give up.

I hated it when DH smoked but I didn't say a thing or even look like I disapproved. He only gave up when his sister died because he didn't want to smoke anymore.

Sorry to sound maudlin. try talking to your DP - does he want to give up and is finding it really hard? Or did he just promise to make you happy?

Deja vue for me. My dp promised the same when I was pg with dc1. Ten years on and he still hasn't stopped. In fact has only just been able to talk about it in a semi-rational manner, any previous discussions always made him so nervous that he ended up smoking more.

I would lower your expectations or you are likely to be disappointed.

You can't make someone give up. They have to want to. Giving up to please you is never going to work, because it takes the willpower and determination that you only get when your whole heart is set on something, iyswim.

If you feel you don't want to, but are being 'forced' to give up because someone else is going on at you, well, it's never going to work. The addiction is too strong.

dh did this, he would give up before baby was born, then it was too stressful with a newborn, then he gave up.....then he started again

i hate it, it makes me want to cry but icant force him, he isnt allowed to smoke in the house, in sight of the children and is supposed to keep lighers and cigarettes out of sight but often doesnt if dd touches cigarette box i will chuck it as it shouldnt have been there