to worry about children not been watched by friend?

[debs40]

We've been out for the day - me,my two boys,my friend and her three boys. All children are 5 and under

Great day trip for the kids who were totally overexcited but really happy however I was worried at my friend's behaviour with the kids generally. For example, while walking through the busy town we were visiting, the kids were running miles ahead of us down the pavements. The roads were busy. My youngest is just three and one of hers is two. She had a pram but was happy to let them run ahead or lag miles behind and wasn't watching them.

I found myself running to catch up the whole day - shouting ahead - grabbing hold of hands to stop them crossing roads.

I felt like a right fusspost. But there's no way I let my kids disappear round the corner on the pavement of a main road without me. She was perfectly happy to let them run and I know this is the way that she is generally at home as she walks everywhere and always lets the eldest two run off ahead. I understand that they may be more used to it than my two, but they are only 5 and 2.

My friend was quite happy to sit talking while the kids ran off from our table at a cafe. They all disappeared round the corner on to a main road several times.

I was up and down tracking down kids all day.

I've never been out for the day with her and her kids before. She is lovely but VERY laid back and I found it really hard to relax.

I'm not trying to judge her but I just find it really hard when you parent in a different way to someone. Am I being an overanxious parent or would others let a little gang of under 5s run off from them towards a busy road and just trust they'd stop at the light?

You are right.I can talk about it next time. She is very sweet and I would hate to hurt her feelings. A lesson learnt though!

I just wanted to see if it was just me!

A few years ago we had a young girl come into my shop with no guardian, she was there happily playing for about 20 minutes so I called security, turned out the mother was at the other side of the centre (about an 8 minute walk)
She had reported her missing in a different shop, I was told she was making her way down to collect the child. I then went to look outside the shop to see if I could see a frantic mother rushing down, but couldnt see anything, so stood there waiting rather impatiently and saw a woman walking slowly down, looking in shop windows and then walking into Greggs, this woman turned out to be the mother... Unfortunately she is not the only person to do similar things, most weeks I encounter parents that will leave their child in my shop and go off and do their shopping. Its sad really.

Sorry not much to do with thread but I was trying to give examples of being to laid back lol

It depends on the sensibleness of the child. Most parents know their capabilities best.
I dare say a few people on our school run at my laid back approach to dd1 3yo. She is allowed to take the path that runs behind the houses, I take the main path as the other one has steps so I can't take the pushchair. The shortcut leads onto a path on a field so we meet at the crossing to cross.
I trust her and she has never let me down (or beaten me to the crossing). She also walks quite far ahead, however, circumstances are that we live behind the Army fence line and it is reasonably safe from stranger danger.
At the beach on Sunday she was never more than a few feet from me or DH.
YANBU

Debs they can be road savvy quite young if they are used to busy roads. Unfortunately they are generally struggling with judging distance until about 8. So the child may well have stopped and looked both ways but misjudges how far away is and crosses- bump

YANBU - but I think it does depend on the kids and how good their road sense is. A lot of my friends think I am neurotic about my 2.10 DS as if we are near busy roads I still put him on reins sometimes. However, he is very fast, very strong and can break free from my grasp in seconds. In spite of us drumming it into him repeatedly, he has a tendancy to be very impulsive - I can't trust him to stop at kerbs and if the whim took him he would run out into the traffic. Therefore until I am 100% certain that he will stop when he has to, the reins will remain for certain situations. I don't really care what anyone thinks - it's what's right for him (although I do envy parents with kids who will stop and listen!)

However, many of my peers have kids who've already developed good road sense and will stop - their parents know their kids limitations just as I know mine, so I think it is whatever works for your own child.

Saying all this, if you are with someone whose parenting style is very difficult to your own it can be very stressful, I know, as I tend to fall into the 'OMG, are you sure they will be OK?' camp!

CAn you arrange a meet in a situation where the kids are more 'contained' next time e.g. a park or farm or somewhere where you won't feel like you have to keep an eye on them?