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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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10 replies

farmgirls · 05/04/2009 22:33

I'm 7 months preg with a 2 yaer old. The children's father doesnt live with us. He visits irregulrly, but mostly Fri nights - Mon eves.

However, the majority of his time is spent on the PC, else he switches it off about 7pm (it goes on around 10am non-stop)and then opens his wine or beer, so is passed out drunk after an hour or so then sleeps til gone midnight, then sits on the PC til the early hours of dawn again.

If I ask, he will take me shopping or put a blind up as long as I haven't 'upset' him during the course of his visit so he isn't in a mood.

Every so often he'll play with our 2 year old
for 10 mins or so, usually while the kettle boils or on his way to the loo.

He will also take her downstairs with him when he gets up in the morning so I can get a lie-in, but even then he'll just put a DVD on, leave her to watch it, and go and sit on his computer (my computer).

I say to him, surely you're here to help relieve me of parenting duties for a few hours each day, as I do the lion share the rest of the time? But he uses my house like a hotel, brings laundry, fills up my fridgefreezer with his food so there's no room for my own food, sits on the PC, gets drunk, then passes out on the sofa. He doesn't fit much 'shring prental duties' into the rest of the time.

Am I wroong to expect him to do more when he's here, for example he could take the toddler out to the park for a few hours, perhaps hang some washing out for me or do a bit of hoovering (feeling v. tired now I'm 7 months preg).

I have no friends or family around, so I'm very dependant on him for things like shopping and help (I don't drive and live rural).

I don't want sympathy, just blunt views. If I'm definately expecting too much from him, please tell me!

OP posts:
FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 05/04/2009 22:35

He sounds like a waste of space. What are you doing with him sweetie?

BecauseImWoeufit · 05/04/2009 22:35

Do you really need to ask?!

Get rid of him. He's using you and your home.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 05/04/2009 22:35

no, you're not unreasonable to expect more. If you don't mind me asking - why is he such a part-timer?

tbh though, he doesn't really, from your description, seem much into family life. Does he want to be a family man?

MoreSpamThanGlam · 05/04/2009 22:36

DUMP HIM

trixymalixy · 05/04/2009 22:48

God get rid of him!!

What is the point in letting him come round if he isn't going to spend any more than 10mins with his daughter?

I can't believe he brings laundry round!!!!

beanieb · 05/04/2009 22:50

Does he work away?

SlartyBartFastlaidanegg · 05/04/2009 22:58

what benefit does he bring to you, honestly???

just financial?

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:01

cocklodger extraordinaire

PurplePillow · 05/04/2009 23:09

What does he do Monday to Friday?

Seems like a waste of space to me.

chegirl · 05/04/2009 23:34

YANBU

But why should he change if he has been getting on just lovely all this time?

You deserve better IMO.

You cant make him change but you can tell him what YOU will do if he doesnt.

Then its up to him

Good luck

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