to think that DH was unkind to me last night

[Gsmom]

quick background,DH is a recovering compulsive gambler since last october. he finally admitted his problem after getting us into big debt and nearly losing his job. until now he has been doing very well with his recovery, attending GA meetings, avoiding bookies etc.

Anyway last evening we were late for visiting his parents because i wanted to change DSs bed before we left (his nappy had leaked during his nap) and by the time i had that done, dd who is 6 weeks old need feeding, im BF so we all got delayed.

Cue him in bad mood on the way to the in laws in the car. we stopped at traffic lights, he picked up the newspaper and started commenting on the form of the race horses in the Grand National. Now if he is taking his addiction recovery seriousely he should be staying well away, and it'd be like an alcoholic pouring a drink in front of his wife and saying i just want to look at it. I said this to him and he just said look im just being honest with you. To me this is BS, any sign of him regressing instills the fear of God in me, and he must know this given we have already been through hell with his gambling and given that it has clearly been outlined to him in the GA meetings how the spouses of addicts suffer.

This morning it has occured to me that what he did with the newspaper wasnt so much a slip with his recovery, but a deliberate atempt to be cruel towards me and put the frightners well and truly on me.

AIBU to think that he was a prick?

It does sound a bit mean of him, but it must also have been a particularly difficult day for a recovering gambler with huge 'Place a Free Bet Now' headlines on half the papers and the racing on every telly.
Are you getting any support from any of the families-of-addicts organisations? Could you have a chat to one of them about it?
Best of luck.

I would put it to him and say something like 'you talking about the national really gave me flash backs to the problems we have been having, what brought that in to your mind?'
See what he says but make sure, if what you suspect is true, he knows what a dick he is to be like that after you have stood by him.
Be careful not to jump in too quick, if he was being honest with you and a relapse is on the cards it is important you don't make him feel like he can bring the subject up and work through it with you.

I can't decide - depends if he usually is spiteful towards you when he is stressed. But i do think it is possible for him to be interested in "the horses" without gambling - it might be a coping strategy? It could just as easily be that he is slipping. Mention it to him when you are both calm and unstressed, just say, "can you reassure me it is just an interest and you are not feeling like gambling again" Not in an accusatory way? I have a friend who's hubby bets on the horses - not a lot but he buys the papers etc - knows he form, i was a bit - eh, isn't that a bit old mannish? He said no, its really interesting and he enjoys reading up on it etc, but only ever makes small bets. Been doing if for years. I know your DH is very different to this and for all i know it could be an alcohol thing, all or nothing, but i dont know. Tough call - don't let it ruin the weekend.