To miss my freedom post dd and to feel guilty for it?

[poshsinglemum]

I love dd and I love being a mum but summer is drawing closer and I am missing my carefree youth when I could sit in sunny beer gardens drinking without a care in the world and jet off to Barcelona with my girlfriends. How ccome i feel so guilty. I love being a mum and i'm really looking foward to going on days out this summer but part of me misses running wild. I'm also feeling fat.

pamelat It's really hard when they are that age. It just gets gradually easier. Mine are now 5 and 8 and all that toddler stuff is a distant memory ..... Then you start to miss all their funny little toddler ways

"sitting in a beer garden with a pint in the sunshine and wasting an entire afternoon in idle conversation... doing without that nearly KILLED me... my DS is 2.5 and i would STILL gladly trade him for a day like that.. well.. only on some days"

You forgot to mention the lovely, luxurios lie in the next day. Bliss.

All mums miss their freedom. There isn't a lot any of us can do though. Sigh.

It's wierd isn't it? When I was pregnant I didn't think I would miss it. I was fed up with pubs, boozy night out, the crapness of the dating scene and I longed to settle down. I now realise that it's not necessarily the boozing that I miss but the spontenaity and selfishness just to be able to do what I want when I want ansd how. As I was largely single and didn't even have a dog to look after I didn't have to make compromises. I loved adventure travel too and back packing.

On the other hand, I was drinking far too much and that landed me in some bad situations so I often think that dd has saved me from a life of binge drinking loneliness.

But the spontenaity- that I do miss.

My parents now have a lot of their life back now we have grown up though.

poshsinglemum, ditto. Whilst I was pregnant I felt quite "smug" about growing up (I am 30!) and about how I was "past" afternoons drinking, but I miss being able to do whatever I please.

Sometimes I wonder whether it would have been "easier" if I had had children earlier in my life, before I became a selfish moo

I definitely miss being able to spend afternoons lounging around and doing very little. OTOH I really appreictate any time I get to myself now!
Go to a Sea Life Centre - you will all love it!

I posted a very similar thing a few months back and my DD is 4.6!

The thing is you feel desperate for some me time and when you get it you feel so bloody guilty for wanting it in the first place it's not always easy to enjoy it.

It's the lack of spontaneity that I miss though. Would love to think I could just get up in the morning and think 'Right - I'll do this/go there today', but it will be a long, long time before that happens again.

I actually find it easier in summer though, as not housebound all the time, but as I said DD is a fair bit older.

Sorry - that probably wasn't much help - but you're definitely not alone!