to think sil taking the piss a bit

[StudentMadwife]

SIl moved halfway across the world two+ yrs ago with 2 children, now pregnant with third. has just had 20 week scan and found placenta praevia. she now wants MIl(her mum) to fly over and look after her whilst she has bedrest. MIL is completely flustered, she cant afford it really (£1000+ for flight) she could be out there months(sil 24 wks) and she was no offer to pay for flight or anything. mil is worrying about her job which shes about to lose and is due to go away on a holiday thats been booked since mid last yr. shes now getting herself in a tizz about the whole thing, which is understandable, she feels torn, its her daughter but I think this is a really unreasonable request from SIL. I think she should get her children into daycare whilst she has to bedrest(think shes not wanting to cos theyve never attended nursery or anything or been in any type of childcare) AIBU?

Yanbu but i'd stay well out of it .

Its a tricky situation but unfortunately she can't really expect her mum to put her life on hold to look after her grandchildren especially when its in another country and she has a job.

Could sil get a nanny?

Her mum can always say "I am so sorry, but I simply don't have the money and I can't afford to lose my job." if she doesn't want to go. But maybe she wants to go, (if it was my child, I'd want to) she's just worrying about the practicalities. Do you know what she wants to do?

don't get involved. you might be hearing all the complaining without the full story. i've made this mistake between my own sister and own mother!

Nah, not going to get involved. It does cost approx 800-£1000 to get there depending on time of yr, its halfway round the world and for a direct flight it is that much, changes are cheaper but then the journey is even longer iyswim.her mum does work, and is waiting for another job app at the mo, her job is hanging on by thread at the moment, buissness on the verge of insolvancy but theyre dragging it out to the end. I dont dont much about the placenta situation, but from what i know i thought bedrest was for if you had total cervix covering and bleeding? nanny is a good suggestion, will mention to MIL. prob more expensive than daycare though. all weve done is advise her not to feel pressured into going or feel shes in "competetion" with sil's DH parents.

YANBU
Your SIL is taking the piss, her choice to move to another country. However agree best not to get involved, just be supportive to MIL. Also bedrest not required for placenta previa unless active bleeding or tightenings infact prolonged bed rest is bad in pregnancy due to risk of thrombosis. Also may not be a true previa 24wks bit early to be certain needs rescans later on in pregnancy.
your poor MIL what a quandry!

Can she not come home for the three months ?

I do see the SIL's point though and if it was my daughter, grandchild I'd be out there like a flash.