Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel depressed at someone yapping on her phone while on a ride in Legoland with her daughter?

96 replies

whistlejacket · 03/04/2009 19:47

After shelling out on a treat for the kids, you'd think she'd be keen to spend some quality time with them. I couldn't hear what she was talking about. Maybe it was "Let's discuss the Q1 sales figures, you'll have to excuse the background noise I'm on the Dino Safari."

OP posts:
Desiderata · 03/04/2009 20:16

I'll admit to deploring the sheer quantity and volume of mobile phone calls. The things piss me off inordinately.

That said, using one in front of a child is no more 'depressing' than yakking away on one at the bus stop.

It baffles me what people find to talk about.

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 20:26

how pathetic and judgemental to get depressed about this....you saw these people for one ride and you think you know if the mum wants to spend quality time or not because you observed her having a conversation on the phone?
Bloody hell, yabu...

BalloonSlayer · 03/04/2009 20:28

No but I had also seen what she described, and had agreed, because, well I had seen it. She only wrote two lines and it looks as if she's been scared off, so I was sort of filling in the blanks.

Therefore I took the criticisms as criticisms of my own attitude too (although we are Mr and Mrs S Judgy of 29a Judgement Terrace, Judgeville, County Judge, JU0 1DG).

I am at some of the comments on here though.

Are people really saying that after queuing for half an hour with a DC desperate to go on some crappy exciting ride, if your phone goes when you are just about to get on, you'd answer it?

TheFallenMadonna · 03/04/2009 20:28

And youre assuming she's talking about work

wingandprayer · 03/04/2009 20:31

YABU. Was at Legoland last week, took necessary calls and replied to necessary e-mails while there. Shoot me now.

FAQinglovely · 03/04/2009 20:34

"DC desperate to go on some crappy exciting ride, if your phone goes when you are just about to get on, you'd answer it? "

ermm yes -

herbietea · 03/04/2009 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pombear · 03/04/2009 20:49

This is interesting, it seems to be developing a subtext of SAHM versus working mum. As some of the other posters said, who knows what the call was. I am a working mum...therefore if you see me on the phone when I'm with my daughter, you may think I'm doing 'work'. Sometimes...yes I am! As another poster said, I too work flexibly so I can pick her up from school and spend many hours happily free from interruption, but other times she knows I may have a work call.

For the last few months, I have been supporting a friend who has severe depression. She has been very bad on occasions. I will take a call from her at the moment, even if I'm on the loo!!! You may sit in judgement of me, if I do this in front of my child. That's OK...that's your judgement, it doesn't really affect me, and I'm sorry if my behaviour would make you depressed. That's sad that your mood would be affected by my behaviour, for which you have no underlying context to explain.

I have a lovely, understanding relationship with my daughter...sometimes she knows she has all my attention and the phone is pretty much off limits during bedtime, much to the irritation of many of my friends. But not the one who needs extra support right now. And I have explained that to my daughter too. She knows how important she is to me, but she understands the care and support we can all give to others.

Be calm, love your own children, and be depressed if you see a child being hit, neglected, ill or wanting of love. Be careful of imagining circumstances that are not your own...maybe one day they could be your circumstanes.

littleducks · 03/04/2009 20:54

we have annual passes, we go all the time, sometimes weekly, so if i took a 10 min phone call one day that is a mere fraction of the hundreds of hours i spend there!

BalloonSlayer · 03/04/2009 21:51

"My point was that if the OP saw my DSes on a ride by themselves whilst DH sat with me, would this be judged as well."

Herbietea, I know precisely well that this is your point, and from MY point of view, as someone who has felt the same as the OP, is of course a massive NO.

We are going to Legoland tomorrow, as it happens. If our older two DCs are tall enough to go on rides by themselves this time then praise God, as it means there is no longer the problem of who is to look after baby DS2. There is nothing wrong with not accompanying your DC on a ride. But if they have to be accompanied, ie someone has to "keep them company" then it is surely reasonable to expect the person "keeping them company" not to be on the phone for the duration, because if they are they are not much company.

If we are able to let the DCs on the ride by themselves, you can be sure that we will be waving and gurning at them at every circuit. If for some reason we are on the phone we would manage to incorporate some interaction with our DCs while making the phone call, unlike the Man we saw - and Yes I am not the OP so am extrapolating here - who IIRC kept up a constant loud commentary of "Yah yah, ok, we need to get together on that, yah."

Most people seem to think that the OP is suggesting that no one should use their mobile from the moment they set foot in a theme park to the moment they leave. But what she is saying is that she found it sad that a parent was on her mobile while on a 2 minute trip on a toddlers ride with a half hour queue; the ride in particular she mentioned actually requires a bit of "OOh look a whatchamasaurus" from the parent.

herbietea · 03/04/2009 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Simplysally · 03/04/2009 21:58

We don't know what the conversation was about so it's pretty useless to speculate .

mumtolawyer · 03/04/2009 22:33

Well, this might, slightly amended, have been me, standing outside one of the Legoland adventure play areas. And it was work, and I was trying to take the pressure off a colleague whose wife is due this week so that he could be within range at any moment. So perhaps, just perhaps, as my DD was perfectly happy and not even noticing me, I had a pretty good reason.

You can't know what's going on unless you listen in. Whoever it was might have been waiting for the most urgent call of their life. Or not. But we don't know, so why are we judging?

Original poster
whistlejacket · 03/04/2009 22:40

Thanks Ballonslayer, I certainly didn't mean no one should use their mobile when on a day out with children or even in front of the children ever, etc. SAHM / working mum / whatever it's the same for all of us. Maybe it was urgent, everyone has urgent calls we need to take and make. But for a brief couple of minutes when your 3 year old is having a ride on something they've been queuing up and waiting for - is any call really that important? No your child's not a greek god and you can't be expected to give them your undivided attention every waking hour. There's obviously a balance somewhere and we've got differing views on where it lies.

OP posts:
MillyR · 03/04/2009 22:47

I think we have differing views because we have different children. I think that some extroverts with introverted children fail to realise that they are making their children miserable by constantly needing the child to interact with them. It makes me feel quite sad to see some parents badgering their children when it is clearly the adult that wants the child's attention. The child wants to be left alone.

Different children want different things; one of my children needs a lot of space and the other needs a lot of attention. So I behave differently with each child.

Quattrocento · 03/04/2009 22:50

I'm sure Legoland is a pretty depressing place, and the rides probably make it worse. Don't let it get you down though.

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 22:55

op, you were still judging on a situation you didn't really know...and what a quick judgement it was....

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 03/04/2009 22:59

yabu
sometimes I have been shopping and get a call from dd's school nurse, I then wander about talking on the phone about shit(yest BO's/poohs) maybe the woman was doing this

paisleyleaf · 03/04/2009 23:06

I often see LOs sat at the swimming pool cafe next to their texting mums. Whatever the reasons, it is sad to see.

Original poster
whistlejacket · 03/04/2009 23:09

Yes I was quick to judge a situation I didn't know about. There are obviously a whole set of circumstances behind the call we can't even speculate on (and I 'jokingly' attempted that in the OP - not a dig at working mums btw, just an attempt to get something work-related in the same line as Dino Safari). All I'm saying is for 2 minutes maybe she could have got off the phone to come out with some words of amazement at a lego thing with her daughter and made the call after the ride. That's all. I'm sure she's a perfect mum. Better than me probably. And not judgmental either, ever. Perfect.

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 03/04/2009 23:10

"Different children want different things; one of my children needs a lot of space and the other needs a lot of attention. So I behave differently with each child."

How true - depending on which child I was on a ride with would depend on what I would be doing.

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 23:20

oh your op was meant jokingly....man...how could I have mistaken it for a serious judgemental one ...

thb, don't think cooing support is always the way to go...
my ys loves it, my ms wouuld think and not take me serious...and well es is like almost a teenager and feck...my cooing he does not want....

Original poster
whistlejacket · 03/04/2009 23:28

No it was a seriously judgemental OP with a v slight joke in it. That aside, I agree different children require different types of attention. How you'd respond to the Dino Safari with your own children is not necessarily how others would handle it. I didn't even go on it. DH did. And he said it was boring.

OP posts:
FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 23:44

so, what was your point? sorry...not getting it at all anymore...you lost me...not difficult, but you did ...care to explain...what was your op about....what was your joke...why didn't you go on the ride...afterall, it was such an important experience for your child? what?

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 23:46

surely,if that ride was so important after cueing that long, both you and dh should have taken an interest in your precious childs joy...

Swipe left for the next trending thread