to expect other mums not to feed my 18mo?

[misscreosote]

My 18 mo DD is very allergic to dairy/eggs (epipens at the ready if she eats a lot), and I would hope that, given how many kids are allergic these days (and just as a matter of courtesy in any case), other parents wouldn't give her food to eat without quickly checking with me first? Obviously when she's old enough to know what she can/can't eat its a bit different, but at this age she'll eat anything given to her (especially the dairy/egg stuff which tends to be the nice looking chocolate goodies).

Would most of you check before offering a snack to a child at a toddler group/coffee morning etc? I would have assumed so, but if I'm being unreasonable, I'm going to have to get more over protective from now on. I've tried to be quite relaxed about it until now, so DD doesn't get food 'issues', but at a coffee morning today another mum gave my DD a buttered hot cross bun, so I had to look like a paranoid mum leaping across the room going 'nooooooo' - admittedly she was only a mum of a tiny newborn, so I don't blame her for not really thinking about it, but I would hope/expect that more experienced mums would check before offering? Is that unreasonable?

tbh i wouldnt specifically offer a any child food without checkeing with a parent but i do think that in a group situation like a playgroup or coffee morning, its the parents responsibility to monitor what their child eats. Mine has a passion for play-dough

seriously though, DS1 is allergic to strawberries and playgroup know so they never put strawberries on the fruit tray. if someone brings in a cake, its up to me to check if its ok.

I've found some great stickers on ebay that I've ordered now - just saying that 'I'm allergic, please don't feed me' - which I think is all DD needs at this age (I can get the funkier character ones for her when she goes to school). They're pretty cheap too, only £1 for 48, so I can just stick them all over her when she's at groups, which will hopefully stop people offering her food if they were going to (she's very good at not taking food if not offered). Thanks for all the feedback, its really helped me think properly about this, rather than just rely on it 'all being alright'!

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like a nutter though, savoycabbage, its hard to explain to everyone you meet that its a genuine allergy and really important, and then have to explain the difference between allergy and intolerance, whilst also not wanting to bore people to tears with it, isn't it?! Some of my closest friends are still surprised when I say DD can't have e.g. chocolate, as they can't really understand that its everything with milk/eggs in she can't have, rather than just milk/eggs themselves. One of my friends lets her DD spill her milk all over my house when she comes round, and I run around like a loon with a cloth clearing up after her (which is a bit much I think really, but I'd rather not make a fuss!).

And as for when the little ones give each other big milky kisses, well.... . Sometimes the big red welts on her face are worth putting up with