to expect my ex to actually read a party invitation?

[queenrollo]

ex has ds three days during the week and these are the days he goes to nursery. Beginning of the week ex told me there was a party invite for today.....and told me the time/place/name of little boy.

I have bought a present and kept the receipt because ex doesn't do small talk, so i have no idea whether the present is suitable for the birthday boy.
Yesterday afternoon ex phones to check what time i will be collecting ds. While we're on the phone i ask how to spell the birthday boy's name at which point ex actually bothers to read the invitation as says 'ah....it appears it's fancy dress'......great i have managed to cobble together a simple outfit (thank god we do fancy dress at festivals ) but i'm just annoyed that ex is incapable of reading one little invitation properly.

And it just dawned on me that he probably hasn't RSVP'd either so i'm not sure if the mum is even expecting me and i have no way of getting in touch.

sorry....just feeling a little grumpy this mornng and venting here instead of at my ex later (because it's currently amicable and i'd like to keep it that way)

He has not read the invitation properly? I do that very often , all I care about is the actual date the party is on! On this ground YAB a little U.

If there's a man on the planet who regularly (or even occasionally) goes through the schoolbags and reads newsletters/invitations etc... then I'd love to meet him!

that happens a lot too be fair, go easy on him

If there's a man on the planet who regularly (or even occasionally) goes through the schoolbags and reads newsletters/invitations etc... then I'd love to meet him!

Oops!

But I really would like to meet him!

you could always phone your ex back and ask him if he rsvp'd? if not, get him to read the phone number off the invite and phone yourself? Apologise, say there was a communication breakdown between the 2 of you and was it too late to confirm.

Im just glad if DP actually remembers to tell me there is an invite at all, I usually have to rummage through bag/car to look for the weeks 'paperwork'!

I too am guilty of not reading invites properly either, i phoned a mum to rsvp to a party in a few days to be told it was the following week

It is very annoying though, maybe something you should be aware that you will need to be extra vigilant with?

You are reasonable to think it would be reasonable behaviour. You are unreasonable to expect a man to do the same. Can see why you're so pissed off, you have to trust and rely on him still, must drive you crazy.

2 of you as in you and your ex btw

i did ask ex for the invite when i was there and he muttered about not being sure where he'd put it. This happens occasionally with other stuff and i can't decide if he is just being forgetful/disorganised or if he is doing it deliberately to be awkward.

Have just text him to check if he RSVP'd.......ah a response.........'no, do you want me to text her?'......er yes! although he has just realised who the boy's mum is, and i do know her and she will understand the situation.

At least he told you. I know of a child who missed a party recently because one parent didn't tell the other! May be better to ensure that parents have both your email addresses so they can send you an email as well as a paper invite. I wouldn't have a problem doing that for a child with those sort of custody arrangements.

I think in future i will just have to be a little more 'firm' about him handing over invites etc.
Because of the way things are i only know a few of the mums from nursery, as we went to mother and toddler groups together. Today will give me a chance to get to know some others a bit better and maybe swap some numbers. Ex isn't sociable, and isn't the sort to try and encourage play-dates etc so maybe this will be an opportunity for me to build some friendships and then i will avoid this happening again.