To not want to clean up after my nanny?

[Gangle]

We have a great nanny who we share with another family. She looks after DS, 12 months, and another baby the same age and splits her time between our house and the other family's house. We are generally happy with her mainly because both babies seem to adore her, however, one thing that drives me mad is her failure to clean up after herself. Really tired of coming home from work and having to pick food up off the floor, wipe down surfaces, put nappy sacks in bin etc. Have asked her gently a few times to make sure all surfaces and the highchairs are wiped down as I hate the thought of DS sitting down to a filthy table for each meal but if I ask she improves for the next few days then forgets again. The babies do make a big mess when they eat but when I have DS I always make sure everything is clean after each meal and also that toys are put away, nappy sacks are put in the dustbin etc. She definitely has time as the babies nap for several hours each day. Running out of gentle hints to give her. Is it too much to expect?

mippiemum do you mix your darks and whites then?

again dh does this- my new white bras went manky grey

she sounds like an angel - but maybe she cleans well,as you are leaving your house spotless?

ie if you relax - she might

i will leave my work house/2nd home how i find it

i couldnt work for too messy peaople as it would/has driven me insane!!

She is an angel - and I am clearly a household slut!

TBH, from everything I know about her she applied equally high standards in her own home. And it's no bad thing that she makes me raise mine...

i must also be a household slut as well

YANBU. Our nanny (admittedly only looking after 1 12 month old) manages to leave the place spotless! Part of the responsibility of caring for a child is to clean up after them, not just play with them.

It could be that it is a problem associated with 2 families and different expectations - e.g. if one family is not so bothered about cleanliness, and she is also relatively lax personally on that front, then she might not realise that she needs to focus on different things in your place to theirs.

However, I would be careful not to lose her if the babies do adore her and you are happy with her care for them. That is much more important.

Perhaps start with the things that bug you most, and get her to change those, and then gradually change the others. So if it is wiping up after meals that bother you most, but you can live with toys being left lying around for you tidy, then ignore the toys and be really specific with her about how important it is for you that she cleans up the high chair and plates after a meal.

YANBU. I would be very cross indeed if I came home to an untidy/dirty house.

I leave the house clean and tidy for my nanny and that's how I expect it to be when I return. I'm not fussed if there's a bit of paint or something on the floor, but I expect toys tidied away, washing up done, surfaces cleaned and clothes put away. Which is exactly how it is left in the morning out of courtesy and respect for her.

It is her working environment and my home. I would bring the subject of standards and expectatations politely, but firmly.

YANBU
One question though?.. What time do you get in from work? I'm just thinking that perhaps she does clean up after breakfast while they nap in the morning and then cleans up after lunch during the afternoon nap, but then they have tea and if you arrive home at say 5.30pm when the babies eat tea at 5pm it would be perfectly reasonable for her not to have had time to clean up yet!

good point ihearteastereggs

my kitchen is in a mess at 5/5.30

but generally tidy by 5.40 and def by 6pm

maybe the nanny could give babies their tea and then clean highchairs and give them a toy /book each and she could then clean kitchen/tidy up

I work from home one day a week so get to see what she does throughout the day and, no, she doesn't clean up after each meal, which is my main gripe. Aside from it being annoying for me, I hate for DS to sit down to a filthy table/highchair. Have seen her sit down reading with kitchen left in s state. To be fair, she does do the washing up but just doesn't wipe the surfaces, floors or highchairs, nor does she wash up all cups or put nappy sacks out so I have to go around picking up half empty cups of milk and washing them etc. Last time I was home I came down after each meal and wiped down the floor and surfaces and put everything away but she still didn't get the hint. Was almost in tears on Tuesday evening after coming in to a pig sty after a nightmare day at work, having been up half the night before with DS. DH had been at home all day and left all his mess and washing up so came back to total chaos. Will have to say something, just so bad at confrontation. Will keep it nice and low key, maybe just say something like, it's such a help when you wipe down the surfaces and pick up all food off the floor after each meal otherwise I have to do it . . .

and yes, good point about clearing up whilst they finish their meal, that's what I do with DS.

Gangle, you are her employer, and you shouldn't feel like you have to tiptoe around her, or feel close to tears, if she is not doing what you want. YANBU in wanting the place to be tidy and clean, but YABU if you do not clearly and calmly state that is what you require. IF you've asked her nicely, she should do it.

dh sounds as messy as the nanny

but yes you are her employer, it is your hosue,and she needs to respect and follow/obey your wishes or she will have to leave

i think you need to sit down and have an informal chat about stuff,say that you are very happy with her care and love of your child,and hi light the good points of her,but then say that you are very happy with her but the one thing that does annoy you is the fact that she doesnt clean/tidy up and see what she says

Surprised you haven't sorted this out yet!

Really these things should be discussed at 2nd interview/first week in position before habits set in.

I would always advise having 3 or 6 monthly reviews, with potential for salray increase for nanny, and an official opportunity for her to raise any issues. Equally, for employer to raise issues such as these.

You really don't want this to spiral into a dealbreaker as she's good with the babies, but many parents would see it as such. Surely all the nannies advice on here should help you to feel confident in raising it with her? Also, I would explain in more depth to other family, and elicit their help in insisting on these (very basic) hygiene standards at all times in both homes.

Personally, if an intrinsic part of an employees job hadn't been performed (short of exceptional circumstances) then it should be done at the end of the working day, whether paid or not. If after discussing this with her, you come home to a mess, you should ask her to clear it up before she leaves (so unpaid). A few times of doing that and she'll learn...

But of course give her clear, simple instructions of what needs to change, and be patient for first few weeks while she gets used to it.

I went to a meeting hosted by Hand in Hand, they are a US nonprofit at this link, amazing resources: domesticemployers.org/resources-and-faqs/. Anyway, they suggested that you PAY your nanny for an extra 15 min to tidy up when you walk in the door, so you spend quality time with your kiddos and don't build up resentment doing it yourself. And they don't fret about having things perfect before you walk in the door, which can be a real challenge depending on the situation (esp. nanny shares!).

The advice above seems good. From what I’ve read, I am pretty lazy but I’d find the nappies, high chair and bottles unacceptable. The rest of the kitchen is a bit of a grey area as standards can differ. Couldn’t you ask her to stop doing laundry at your house and instead focus on wiping down. Could you also get a nappy bin. That way she’s not bagging up nappies individually and they have to go in the bin. I can only see things getting worse as the babies get bigger and more demanding as toddlers so you need to tackle it now really.