to expect my b/f to come home when he says he will

[Leni75]

so he called me at 5.30 to tell me he was just helping a mate move a washing machine and he would be straight home after (about 5 mins away) and so dinner was ready for 8 but still no b/f and then he just called (9.15pm) clearly drunk, at another mates (even nearer) playing pool, he is 'thinking about me' apparently and will be home after this game.....this is not new.....its not a lie i know...its what he doesn't say that really winds me up........

No that's pretty crappy. Try not answering the phone when he calls and don't make dinner for him?

well normally he wouldn't call, it took me by surprise so i answered and i might feed the dinner to the dog...unless anyone wants turkey fillet (breaded) with pots and salad...?

i just get soooooo annoyed, i've realised not so much with him, but with me for believing him when he tells me he is on his way or whatever.....

it's a basic lack of respect though isn't it. I make my husband call me when he's on his way home, which he got cross about as he thought he was asking for permission to come home. I explained that if he gave me 15 mins notice I can make myself look nice for him .. seemed to work

yes lack of respect is exactly what it is you are right, i mean i would call or text him if i was gonna be late, but he sees it as having to explain himself, and if i call its a 'control call', but i think its just common curtesy to let someone who you live with now if you are going to be late

bollocks, i'm going to bed then....i'll only want to take a frying pan to the back of his head when he gets home otherwise...and that wouldn't be a good thing!!! LOL!!!

Leni75, a word of warning, use a heavy fry pan!!

No, seriously, you need to take a good look at this relationship and see if it's one you really want to be in. They don't change (well, mummy2islas seems to have fixed the problem, but I'm not sure if it was as bad as your situation??).

I lived with a 'be home in 5 mins' bloke and it drove me insane (work not at the pub, but same basic principal - common decency!!).

YANBU. It's fucking annoying. ExH did this ALL the time, he was never anywhere on time and would constantly be waylaid by colleagues, friends, computers, anything really. We fought loads about it. Then he would get offended when I just added an hour or two on to whatever time he told me (even though I was right at least 90% of the time!). He rode a motorcycle and I was constantly worried that he'd crashed and was dying in the road.

We had other problems besides this, but it's a huge relief to be married to DH2 who always phones and lets me know straight away if he's going to be even 15 minutes later than he's said.

Your BF is being disrespectful. He could have phoned you to let you know he wanted to stay out, but probably didn't because he didn't want to be convinced to come home. What a dickhead.

dickhead...yes!!! he came home at 11.30, played music really loudly until 1.10 whilst muttering bollocks, then wonders why i'm a bit stressed in the morning...i mean, i'm only b/feeding and looking after a 7 month old, its not like i need my sleep or anything....

he just text me at 11.30 to say, and i quote 'i'm sorry' thats it, thats it? WTF sorry for staying out late, not coming back when you said you would, talking crap to me, being drunk AGAIN, which bit? any of it? none of it? 'I'm Sorry' FFS...gggrrrrrr (wanders off to look for big heavy frying pan...)

He's playing loud music at 1am with a baby in the house???

Is he the baby's father? I only ask, because if he isn't I don't understand why you haven't thrown him out already (as this isn't just a one time behaviour). Is he having a particularly hard time adjusting to parenthood? Or has he always been an unreliable twat?

yes, yes and yes