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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed for being refused a alcoholic drink because i had my children with me.....

35 replies

mum2samandalex · 02/04/2009 18:12

and by alcoholic i mean a fricking half pint shandy.I was meeting some of my distant family in town who had come down to visit and they had been drinking in wetherspoons.

We had arranged to meet them there fro a quick hello and dh went to order us some drinks. I fancied a nice cold shandy and was gobbsmacked when they refused to serve dh and i alcohol neither of us are big drinkers. We were only planning to have the one.They then refused to serve any of my other family members although they had been there for an hour or so before us drinking quietly.

Ds then started kicking off that he was hungry so i thought id buy the kids something to eat dh and i werent really hungry and they refused to serve us a kids meal because none of the adults were eating fgs. Needless to say we didnt stay for very long....

OP posts:
armandaleg · 02/04/2009 18:16

Wetherspoons is ultimately a pub unfortunately for you, they have to be really careful as while they're happy to welcome children they don't want parents drinking all day just because kids are allowed in there.
They serve cheap drinks and I imagine have had problems in the past with people taking advantage.
Annoying for you, but there are plenty of nicer places to eat.

armandaleg · 02/04/2009 18:16

That's likely to be my worst english ever

Gorionine · 02/04/2009 18:17

I am more that they refused to serve a meal to your Ds because you were not having one TBH. But that is only because I am teetotal other wise I am pretty sure I would be equally at them not serving you alcohol!

YANBU

Original poster
mum2samandalex · 02/04/2009 18:20

I could understand if i were oldering double vodkas etc but half a shandy??? I suppose because it was a pub id 'ohh il have a shandy'' and if it was a coffee bar i would have had a coffee. Agree theres nicer places to eat but the kids were hungry and wouldnt wait.

OP posts:
SomeMightSay · 02/04/2009 18:22

Before I had ds1, I was managing pubs for years, and to be perfectly honest, it is a very difficult situation for staff to be in. Sadly, I have seen a number of parents take young children to the pub on weekends and even straight from school and just drink and drink and drink. It is absolutely shocking that some people think it is acceptable to become drunk when they are in charge of a small child. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people have a drink or 2, and find that most people are quite sensible, but there are the few that just don't care. I will have one or 2 glasses of wine if I feel like it, but depends what I have to do, how I'm getting home etc etc.
The staff have social responsibilities too.

ProfYaffle · 02/04/2009 18:29

Wasn't it Wetherspoons that were in the news a few months ago because they had a policy of serving no more than 2 drinks to parents with children? Maybe they've either made it more strict or the staff got their wires crossed.

Just another thing to add to my list of reasons why I never go there.

ChippingIn · 02/04/2009 18:29

Unbelievable.

Staff do have responsibility when serving alcohol (in the nice nanny state we have created ), but I am sure the rules do not say that you cannot serve a group of adults alcohol if they have a child with them!! I think we need to put out that missing poster for common sense...

Pizza Express near us would go under if they did that, it's the only reason we go there (just kidding, but it certainly makes for a more pleasant meal!!).

BellaMummy · 02/04/2009 18:30

Has the world gone mad?? We're talking about a drink or two - how bloody ridiculous to deny adults an alcoholic drink because they have a child with them. So once you have kids all pubs are off limits for everyone because some minority elements of our society drink to excess with kids in tow?? Surely bar staff can tell the difference.

Personally Weatherspoons isn't my cup of tea, but this would further put me off. Protest the only way consumers should - by not going to one of their pubs ever again.

Ridiculous.

TotalChaos · 02/04/2009 18:31

yanbu. have never had trouble at Wethersppons buying an alcoholic drink when ordering food for us and DS, think it must be a rather over-zealous manager (or a pub where they've had problems with bladdered parents).

armandaleg · 02/04/2009 18:32

Prof - It's 2 alcoholic drinks with meals. You can't get served with children if you're not eating.
I guess they didn't let the kids eat while you didn't in case it's seen as - Lets get blathered while you can eat some chicekn nuggets to keep you quiet.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 02/04/2009 18:35

I have had many a drink in a variety of pubs while with DS, though I do try to avoid Weatherspoons because I don't approve of them in general - yet they make a big deal of being 'family friendly' so we have gone in them a few times when in need of a meal and a sit down and the only other alternative having been KFC.... But then I am quite used to the Morrs dancers/folky culture where everyone wanders from pub to pub sinking pints with the DC running around happily in tow.

minesacheeseandpicklesandwich · 02/04/2009 18:41

I am at this, and I used to run pubs. It is obvious when it is someone ordering a quick one to keep others company and when it is someone intent on getting as pissed as possible being being taken home by the DC. Though, TBF, Weatherspoons probably don't have the staff training in this sort of thing (by 'this sort of thing' I mean getting to know customers as people )

My DP has just commented that it serves you right for going to Weatherspoons. As someone who also despises the company for their policies of cheap alcohol, no atmosphere and, most importantly, no relationship with their customers, I would put it more politely... at least you said you were meeting people already there and were only going to stay for one!!

Original poster
mum2samandalex · 02/04/2009 18:41

yeah but arman they didnt even serve us alcohol they refused point blank. And then refused the other people on our table (i.e my distant family who had been there before us and had no parental resposibility).Im sure ive been to other pubs and have ordered drinks before even ordering food.If we were downing drinks and getting bladdered fair enough but it was just a shandy and then refusing us a childrens meal bacause no one else was eating grrrrr makes my blood boil.

OP posts:
nametaken · 02/04/2009 20:56

the problem is, as somemightsay mentions, some parents are nothing but drunks and weatherspoons have got a reputation for being a place where chav parents get pissed on cheap alcohol with their screaming bratts in tow.

what I've never understood is why anyone who doesn't fit this description wants to drink there anyway!

valleysprincess · 02/04/2009 20:58

grrrrr that made my blood boil OP.
Exactly the same thing happened to me. When my babe was 2 weeks old and still at that sleeping for most of the day stage, I went out for a curry with the family. LO was fast asleep in her portable car seat and next to me in the restaurant. I was not driving and not BF-ing (due to cleft palate before you all kick off) so I ordered a vodka and coke. The horrible man who owned the place told me really loudly that as I had a baby it was wrong of me to drink. I felt so bloody humiliated, it's not like I was going to get pissed or anything . I was really hormonal at the time and was so furious all I could do was try desperately not to cry in public.

What IS it with people like this????

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 02/04/2009 21:01

Valleyprincess: It's basic misogyny (not thinking women are people). That's what's wrong with them.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 21:06

So it's a family pub which serves food.

But they won't give drinks to a family.

Or any food.

not a business plan head office would approve of I'm sure.

I read this when first posted and again now and honestly i think you should email a complaint to head office. You will feel better for it, they will have a word with their staff, you might get some vouchers (woohoo).

Because this is where wetherspoons make all their money - hard drinkers and families (nice combo but seems to work) and I don't think they will be very happy about it.

If they say it is all policy then you can thank them kindly and say you will be letting all your MN friends know that is their policy

AliGrylls · 02/04/2009 21:12

How awful are people? I was telling my boss that I felt people looked at me strangely when I ordered a beer. Are people really like this after you pop? It is none of their darn business.

ravenAK · 02/04/2009 21:13

It IS their business plan.

Family = sell them a meal EACH (low profit margin on cheap kids' meals, so adults must eat too). Don't encourage them to linger, because once everyone's eaten, the 'spend per head per hour' of say 2 parents & 2 kids = 2 drinks. Occupying 4 seats.

They want you to a) eat & bog off or b) drink all day (but not if you have kids with you because there'd be an accident & they'd get sued for selling booze to you whilst you were in charge of a dc).

Not a particularly attractive business model, but it's a pragmatic one.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 21:15

It's not the business plan of our local wetherspoons

TheCrackFox · 02/04/2009 21:21

It is fairly simple, take your business elsewhere.

Also tell a lot of people about your experience. Well done for telling everyone on MN about it.

I now know that if I go to Weatherspoons I will be treated like a 12 yr old.

ConnieComplaint · 02/04/2009 21:22

My dh & I were in a wetherspoons just before Christmas. He had went there with work for a drink & I was joining them.

A man & woman came in with a teenage daughter and a son of about 10. The dad ordered them all a meal & asked for a pint & a smirnoff ice...the male on the till said as they had children with them which were under the legal drinking age he could only serve one of the adults alcohol and 2 alcoholic drinks would be the limit...and it had to be with a meal.

I do kinda see their point though.... as they're cheap they may have had people out shopping with their kids, stopped in for a drink & ended up sitting half the day...and once a policy is put in place it has to be implemented across the board.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 02/04/2009 21:23

Weatherspoons mostly are horrid pubs run by a horrid company.
I despise them because there is somewhere in senior management an unpleasant mindset that life is a vale of tears and if you think you want to enjoy yourself you are going to have to suffer for it. The Weatherspoons company has made a fetish out of buying up lovely live music venues and turning them into horrid music-free pubs despite local opposition. And (OK not posting this because of potential self-outing/legal issues))...

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 21:38

We had one of the first wetherspoons!

It was nice - old fashioned and quiet and books everywhere and cheap. That was when I was a teen. It was the most popular pub in town.

Then they decided to take the books out and make them basic boozing dens - the pub of choice for an all day every day alcoholic and his mates - and the regulars (all day every day) are where the money comes from in pubs.

No-one went there.

The last time I went to one was a couple of summers ago when I was told that they were the pub of choice for the toddler crew - children allowed til 9, nice outside area, cheap and cheerful, dad boozes while mum looks after the kids (or vice versa) food a-plenty and a good time had by all.

I would be surprised if they were chucking out their family audience en-masse as that will just leave them with a load of drunks (round here anyway) which is not good...

galaxymummy · 02/04/2009 21:38

Not just weatherspoons, met up with group of other new mums and dads in eco friendly cafe in reading and was told it was not nice to drink when you had a baby, none of us had more than shandy or small beer, we all ordered food and got told to .. off as we took up too much room, displacing regular punters.
Was all do to with change of management and oh yes if we wanted to eat needed to ring in advance to make sure they had a) enuff staff and b) enuff food, there were 10 of us. Do they not want trade?? Needless to say we now go elsewhere, pity really as I really enjoyed ethopian veg food and loved freetrade shop next door, ps as was central we all walked there no plenty of green street cred
bewildered of reading