Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am a practicing christian myself BUT.....

35 replies

SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:02

a friend sent me a prayer card for a safe delivery of my baby and its really wound me up because the patron saint of pregnant women is a man

it gets worse, the REASON he is patron saint of pregnant woman is because he was accused of fathering a child which he denied and he later convinced the woman to retract her claim sounds like a nice guy eh!

If (in an alternate universe) there were no female candidates for the role, surely someone like Joseph would have been much nicer and more appropriate as patron saint for protection of pregnant woman (since he actually protected a pregnant woman rather than call her a liar and get embroiled in a bitter paternity arguement!)

Its really p:ssed me off!

OP posts:
nametaken · 01/04/2009 19:04

have a cup of tea dear

TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2009 19:05

Who is it?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 01/04/2009 19:05

Who chooses which saint becomes patron of what?

(Sorry, that's not very well expressed, but I hope you know what I mean.)

TheArmadillo · 01/04/2009 19:06

YANBU

onebatmother · 01/04/2009 19:09

I must say, at the risk of sounding horrid, that I find the whole idea of prayer cards really morbid.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 01/04/2009 19:10

Saint Gerard Majella?

Original poster
SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:11

St Gerard Majella

according to a bit more googling he did not deny fatherhood, but retreated into silence until the woman admitted that he wasnt the dad - sounds like a useless lump to me! get told your gonna father a child and you sod off and refuse to speak! great! its not like he stepped up to the challenge like joseph or anything. Was this Gerard really the best they could come come up with for us?

Anyway - why not a woman?

Suppose it could be worse, she coulda sent me something from the Magdalen sisters

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2009 19:11

Don't fret. According to this there are several, including St Ann.

Why are prayer cards morbid?

dizietsma · 01/04/2009 19:12

YANBU

But, to be fair, Catholicism isn't exactly the best place to look for feminist icons.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2009 19:13

But to be fair to the bloke, if he wasn't the father, and there were no angels giving instructions or anything, what was he supposed to do?

TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2009 19:14

Feminist - no.

But female? There's loads!

Stayingsunnygirl · 01/04/2009 19:20

And lets not forget that Joseph was willing to protect his wife when she wasn't pregnant by him, and to parent someone else's son.

You can just see the JK show now - my wife's pregnant and claims that an angel told her God wanted her to have his son - and I don't even get to chose the child's name. I want a lie detector test.

Northernlurker · 01/04/2009 19:21

So he said he didn't want anything to do with said pregnant woman and the catholic church decides that makes him the perfect focus for all pregnant women??

Ok then.....

If you would like some nice straightforward prayers for safe delivery etc try the prayer thread on here - if you don't already know it - lots of lovely ladies praying away over there!

Original poster
SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:22

Well I didnt get sent a St Ann one, I got sent this dude and its annoying me - must be the hormones cause usually I'd just chuck it and forget it

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 01/04/2009 19:30

I've googled a bit too and aside from the unfortunate incident outlined below he was also recorded as having miraculously preserved the lives of at least two women in childbirth - so maybe he's not such a rubbish choice after all?

Original poster
SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:35

northernlurker I got the impression from my googling that the miracles that have been atributed to him were as a result of people praying to him during child birth, not as a result of any actual actions or direct contact with any pregnant women in his life. As in, he didnt do any pegnant women any good in his life time, but praying using his name has resulted in miracles.

I kinda think that prayer can work miracles at times but ya could be praying to kermit the frog and it would have the same effect, its all about faith and mental attitude

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 01/04/2009 19:41

Well it seemed to me that one miracle was a attributed to a handkerchief he dropped and told the (doubtless revolted) girl who tried to return it that she should kepp it in case she needed it one day. When birthing - and in trouble - she called for the hanky and everything was hunkydory from then on. The other case mentioned was one where he DID actually directly pray for a woman and child. He did die at 29 which is very sad - not particularly unplifting though!

Northernlurker · 01/04/2009 19:42

And I can't believe how much I now know about an obscure catholic saint....

justaboutback · 01/04/2009 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onebatmother · 01/04/2009 19:48

Well, I'm not religious as you know , and so prayer isn't an everyday thing for me. I suppose I find the commercial articulation of the thought that it could all go wrong a bit morbid. Perhaps morbid isn't quite the word but there isn't a word for 'doom-sayer-y' is there. It makes me want to touch wood.

Original poster
SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:52

"Yes why morbid?"

maybe because they look like the prayer cards (right term??) that relatives get made and hand out when someone dies

Or, because some of them have "relics" attached (supposedly a piece of the dead saints clothes or something)

I generally think they're quite sweet as they're meant well and its a nice thought (its like someone saying they'll pray for you). I dont send them myself but dont usually mind them, its just this one! - I am irrationally irritated and annoyed by it!

I mean, I am not just mildly miffed by it, its REALLY winding me up, maybe I need some chocolate.......

OP posts:
Original poster
SalBySea · 01/04/2009 19:54

onebatmother that makes you sound like the kinda person who doesnt make a will or take out insurance policies because they see it as admitting that bad things might happen

I am used to people saying they'll pray for me if I have an important exam or something like that and see it as a positive thing - never took it to mean that they thought I'd fail!

OP posts:
ItsMargotBeauregarde · 01/04/2009 20:03

corr, how did HE end up the patron saint of pregnant women?

Your friend meant well, even though a simple card with words of her own choosing would have been nicer.

That sort of thing winds me up too. I remember once listening to a lesson in church and the curate quoted a lesson about Jesus or one of his followers (can't remember) showing compassion to a fallen woman. We were supposed to think that was the height of tolerance and Christianity. It really annoyed me.

Murderers and violent people abounded, and yet the lowest of the low was seen to be a fallen woman - whatever the fcuk that was.

The sermon reccounted this lesson with a straight face! As though it were relevant today. No mention of how ludicrously unchristian and cruel that state of affairs was and how unfair it was to the women of that time, that they were rated beneath brawlers, drinkers, theives. No attempt was made to 'update' the lesson to put it in to a framework where we could understand somebody going out of their way to show tolerance to an excluded person.

AIBU!!!??

onebatmother · 01/04/2009 20:03

I should also confess that the couple of times I've been sent them, I've been really quite pissed off that people have co-opted my pain to their religion against my will

I really am a Very Firm Atheist.

Shambolic · 01/04/2009 20:06

Fallen woman = prostitute??

So the men paying were just as bad, if not worse, but bet they didn't get a mention...

Swipe left for the next trending thread