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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ignore ds1's pleas for last minute help with his homework

8 replies

AnAngelWithin · 01/04/2009 16:05

ok so I have a stroppy coming up 10 year old who has decided he wants more independance.

A couple of weeks ago he brought home a seed/bean to plant and he was muttered something at me about needing to keep a diary on it. We agreed that I would water it if he kept the diary.

Anyway he came out of school today, stroppy as mad saying that his project needs to be in on friday. I asked him what project and he said 'that stupid bean thing' I asked him if he had been keeping his diary. All he needed to do was measure it and just write a few notes about the changes in it but has he done it?? NO.

I have always ended up being the one to help him loads with his 'projects', he just can't be bothered half the time, but the past few weeks he has really been playing the 'I need my space and to do things myself' card and I have even been letting him outside to play on the park at the back of our house on his own or with his friends.

Time and time again this week I have asked him if he has got any homework to do and he has just saif that he hasn't. I have 3 other dc's to help and sort out as well.

DS1 is now sat at the table huffing and puffing that he doesn't know what to do. I want him to do well at school but he constantly relies on other people to help him too much and I think he needs to learn. Or maybe I am just being too harsh? I don't know. Maybe just leave him to it for a while, keep a check on him and then go through it with him (if he ever does anything that is!)

OP posts:
Idranktheeasterspirits · 01/04/2009 16:09

i think you are being a little unreasonable as i would still expect a 10 yr old to need the odd reminder about keeping up with a project.
On the other hand you are right that he does need to learn to take responsibility.

He has until Friday, why not get him to do some google work so he can write a backdated diary on the changes etc in the seedling.

In future though, other than a gentle reminder and an offer to help if needed i would let him discover the consequences of not doing your homework.

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 01/04/2009 16:09

leave him to it

consequences, son, consequences

he had plenty of warning and said he would do it but didn't, he needs to learn you will not bail him out because of his laziness/inattention

we had all this when my dd was around his age, they get better when they go to high school, then it takes a downturn again in Yr 8

AnAngelWithin · 01/04/2009 16:12

he has a homework diary idranktheeasterspirits which he checks. He said everyones been talking about their plants at school as well so its not like he was told once and just left to get on with it. He also said the teacher reminded them on monday about it as well but he didn't tell me.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 01/04/2009 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnAngelWithin · 01/04/2009 16:27

yes but it is last minute as he is supposed to be going to a friends house tomorrow evening!

OP posts:
AnAngelWithin · 01/04/2009 16:28

and last minute int he fact that for the past few weeks he has done NOTHING when he should have been! He is sat here making stuff up now. Apparently after 3 days it was 4 inches tall! I have just said that if he has bothered to keep track of it he wouldn't be struggling and that the teacher will know that it won't grow that mch in such a short space of time.

OP posts:
katiestar · 01/04/2009 18:20

My 10 year old is in charge of managing his own homework.Plenty old enough
If he hasn't done it, then he'll have to face the consequences.Simple as & end of

seeker · 01/04/2009 18:31

My dd did this bean thing last year - must be standard year 7 homework. This is too late for you, I'm afraid, AnAngel, but for the benefit of anyone else with this in the future, my cunning dd took a photograph of hers every day, then spent the weekend before it was due in writing it up, copying some of the pictures for her drawings. Probably a bit "not quite the letter of the law" but it worked!

For what it's worth, I wouldn't help him with this one - but I would have reminded him every now and again over the preceeding weeks.

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