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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think if you feed your child exclusively on formula until the age of 7 you should feel a little ashamed of yourself?

19 replies

TheDevilEatsNestle · 31/03/2009 22:02

Yes it was a tv programme, not the full story etc etc. However I am horrified that anyone would do this. The poor boy is now in his late teens and only eats yorkshire puddings, pancakes and crisps.

His parents didn't seem to give a shit. Why would they not get medical help?

OP posts:

iwontbite · 31/03/2009 22:05

maybe they tried

themildmanneredjanitor · 31/03/2009 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 31/03/2009 22:07

maybe he has sn

ilikeyoursleeves · 31/03/2009 22:07

??!! How can someone only have formula til SEVEN? Surely there was a reason for this?

Original poster

TheDevilEatsNestle · 31/03/2009 22:07

It's 'freaky eaters' on bbc3, I was just shocked really.

OP posts:

Bellebelle · 31/03/2009 22:08

OMG! Freaky Eaters yes? Just saw the bit with the piles of food, didn't know about the background. How on earth could that happen or for the parents to think it was okay?I'm going to watch it on iplayer now!

yanbu

fryalot · 31/03/2009 22:08

was this on "Faddy eaters" or whatever the programme is called?

Original poster

TheDevilEatsNestle · 31/03/2009 22:08

No medical reasons at all, in fact in the programme he tried and liked all sorts of normal foods.

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 31/03/2009 22:09

think how much time you'd save not cooking

iwontbite · 31/03/2009 22:09

as you say though, you never get the full story on those things.
the thing is, if you have a food-phobic child then what do you do? if you've sought help and it isn't forthcoming then what are you supposed to do? force feed the child?
you do what you think is best and get what you can into them I suppose
sad that they were all let down so badly IMO

TheCrackFox · 31/03/2009 22:21

I am sure they tried their best. Unfortunately in those days there wasn't a lot of help available. You would need a nutrionist and a child psychologist to unravel those sorts of problems and the NHS has always been underfunded.

Some children with extreme food phobias like this are on the autistic spectrum. best not to judge.

Bathsheba · 31/03/2009 22:27

I don't know - I've not seen the programme but I've seen other episodes in the past.

I firmly believe that, with a few exceptions (and they are fairly obvious cases of neglect) most people do the best job of parenting that they can - yep, sometimes we are all rubbish, and sometimes we make do a lot, but we all try our best.

My DH has a LOT of issues - some with food yes (mainly the "finish everything on your plate and have extras that has caused him to be overweight) but he has a lot of mental health issues and a lot of communication and social issues (he has been diagnosed and treated over the last 3 years but I firmly beleive that the issues go way back.) He has problems with depression, anxiety, paranoia and social phobia. A LOT of his issues can be traced back to his upbringing, the way he was treated and brought up by his parents, the societal norms where he was, the cultural differences and differences in priorities that they had over what I had and what we have today.

If he was on this programme would his Mum feel ashamed. No. She wouldn't. She firmly believes she brought him up the only way she could with the pressures etc that were on her at the time. She'd stand there being a hand-wringing wet doormat, but ne she wouldn't be ashamed. Should she be...in my darkest moments I probably think she should be but in the end I know she did her best.

Should they be ashamed of only giving him formula, maybe, but I suspect that they really thought they were doing the best in the situation they found themselves in.

chegirl · 31/03/2009 22:40

I never had any issues with food with my kids. They were all great eaters. How smug I was .

Then my DD became ill. Before her diagnosis she went off food and after a few weeks I was so desperate that I would have given her anything. I tried all my usual not giving in stuff and not making mealtime a battle etc.

Nothing worked and I was tearing my hair out. She was 12. She was later diagnosed with Luekemia and actually became anorexic whilst on treatment.

I know my case is extreme in that she had cancer but it did give me a bit more of an insight to these things.

Mind you, there is no excuse for not seeking help if something is going very wrong.

coppertop · 31/03/2009 22:42

There's not much help out there for children who have problems with food. It can be a very long process to get a child to the point where they will try something new. When my ds first started pre-school the staff (who were/are all lovely) were sure that they could persuade him to try fruit. By the end of his 18mths there they were thrilled to bits that he had reached the point of being able to sniff a piece of apple.

Interesting that the food that the boy does like are all of a similar taste and texture. I wonder if it was sensory-related.

Stayingsunnygirl · 31/03/2009 23:18

Apparently the mum did take the lad to the doctor to ask why he was still just on formula and was told not to worry, he'd grow out of it.

Sorrento · 31/03/2009 23:22

My sister ate nothing but tins of baby food until she was 6 as a reaction to my parents divorce, there is usually a reason/more than meets the eye about these situations.

Peachy · 31/03/2009 23:33

Unless sn isan issueit is bizarre at best

Mind could be far worse- formula is better than some of the shite people feed their kids. Chicken burgers anyone? (My Dad works in a chicken burger factory, he says he'd rather eat a 5p sausage than a CB and he wouldnt eat of those either)

CottageChicken · 01/04/2009 00:42

I like how these threads get blown out of proportion. On the show, it says he was 5 ... you said 7 ...

risingstar · 01/04/2009 08:33

actually, it sounds horrific, but I can see how it can happen, sort of. My nephew was food phobic and at nothing but the inside of white french bread until he was 7. When he ate an entire pizza in Pizza Express.......and now eats anything. And when I say ONLY the inside of white french bread, I mean it. With vitamin supplements in his drinks, he grew fine although he was skinny. Now he is a robust 9 year old. We went through every single expert we could access, including psychologists. none of it made any difference. he does have some allergies and had a severe reaction to egg at a 18 months, when the problem started. So, I would say it is easy to judge but it is/was probably a mental thing and on the whole as long as the child is growing the NHS really are likely to say "he will grow out of it". and sometimes its true!

Flip