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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Want To Get My Own Back On My Pig Of An Ex?

25 replies

vengeful · 31/03/2009 16:56

I know I am but god it is SUCH a great thought.
After being abusive for years he left me and DC for other child and despite subsequent mutterings about doing this and that he has been completely useless, putting his work first and making excuse after excuse.
Anyway after taking money off me for years I have finally stopped listening to his hints and helping him out.
But he is signing on and claiming housing benefit whilst working - recently got paid £400 for a job for example.

Maybe it should just remain a delicious thought but I thought I'd put it out there. Should I do it, or let what goes around comes around???

OP posts:
Original poster
vengeful · 31/03/2009 16:57

Sorry that should be "left me and DC for OW"

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 31/03/2009 16:58

Shop the fucker to the benefits agency. Plenty of people out there who need it more!

Wizzska · 31/03/2009 17:00

Sounds tempting.

theDreadPirateRabbit · 31/03/2009 17:00

Yep - shop him. He's taking advantage of tax-payers, and giving benefits-claimants a bad name. Regardless of any other motives it's the ethical thing to do

nametaken · 31/03/2009 17:19

of course it's the right thing to do. Why should he work and claim benefits when I just work and don't get any benefits.

solidgoldbrass · 31/03/2009 17:22

Oh, shop him. He deserves it. And I don't normally advocate grassing.

Original poster
vengeful · 31/03/2009 17:25

Most of the work he does is unpaid or quite low paid so I have been trying to tell myself it doesnt matter and I am just being bitter, but any money he earns is not on really, is it?
He certainly doesnt earn enough to pay his rent or living expenses so if his money got stopped it would be quite serious - he could end up homeless and completely unable to pay his bills.
I know, I know...why do I care when its what he deserves? Just giving you the full picture about why I am hesitating, as if he was earning a full wage I would NOT be hesitating!

OP posts:
MANATEEequineOHARA · 31/03/2009 17:33

Of course you should call benefits fraud, it is not even a case of 'getting your own back', he is breaking the law and you should report it.

My ex does the same thing so I get my measley £5 a week for 2 kids and he works cash in hand, I have reported him several times but he still seems to get away with it

SadMarg · 31/03/2009 17:50

Definitely tell on him!!!!

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 01/04/2009 14:35

totally, 100%! report him.

Momma23 · 01/04/2009 14:44

Go for it!!!!!

pingping · 01/04/2009 14:45

So how much is he earning how do you know that he hasn't mentioned to them he works part time?

Not sure if its worth it on your part to be honest as he may realise it was you that shopped him and then hassle you

pingping · 01/04/2009 14:45

Does he give you money for your DCs?

TrillianEAstraEgg · 01/04/2009 14:53

Why have you been giving him money for years? Can't he sponge off his new girlfriend?

Original poster
vengeful · 01/04/2009 15:45

He hasnt mentioned anything to them, I'm fairly certain of that, he wouldnt want to end up with any less.
pingping he doesnt give me any money.
Trillian, I gave him money before I realised the extent of his abuse. Because I loved him and wanted to support him. Because I thought that would count for something - obviously not.
I dont take any notice of his hints now though. My money is my own for me and DC.

OP posts:
oliviasmama · 01/04/2009 15:50

Without doubt you should report him

pingping · 01/04/2009 16:26

Would he know its you thats reported him?

JemL · 01/04/2009 16:38

If he can work part time, he can work full time and pay his own bills and have fuck all left over like the rest of us!
He is obviously capable of working, so I bet he pulls his finger out to stop himself being made homeless!

I don't normally encourage grassing, and I loathe those benefit ads which encourage you to do it but in this case...I would!!

Original poster
vengeful · 01/04/2009 17:45

No he wouldnt know it was me, I am keeping my true feelings a secret so it looks like we get on quite amicably, but I am seething.
He looks like such a cultured, warm, intelligent person, but he's just another absentee father who cant be bothered contributing anything to DC, not even time.

OP posts:
gardeningmum05 · 01/04/2009 17:54

shop him, i did it to my ex. he packed his job in when c.s.a. took him to court, w**r.

he wants to see his children as often as possible but not prepared to put his hand in his pocket. when he does have them, he sticks them in front of the television.
lives with his mum and dad and hes 39,saddo. not the role model i want for my kids, a sad lonely man, not working, living at home with mummy.
step dad a much better role model, works, puts a roof over our head and shows an interest in them and their school work.
SHOP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gardeningmum05 · 01/04/2009 17:55

AND THEN SET FIRE TO HIS CAR [WINK]

gardeningmum05 · 01/04/2009 17:56

and then him
not that i am bitter

ithinkimtallandblonde · 01/04/2009 18:00

Without a doubt shop him. If he can work part time then he'll find away of making the money back.

Look at it like this not only does he not pay money for his own dc he is essentialy stealing from honest hardworking people who do provide for their kids like your dh who looks after his dsc.

Alibabaandthe40bunnies · 01/04/2009 18:11

Definitley shop him, spongers and benefit thieves are the scourge of this country and should be flogged IMO.
They reduce the help and support that should be available to support people in times of genuine need and hardship.

And won't you just have the biggest grin going on inside the next time you see him?

Original poster
vengeful · 01/04/2009 19:56

what about CSA...could I go to them without him knowing it was me or would they tell him the request came from me?
Might as well rub salt in the wound

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