to think my ex husband is unhinged

[memoo]

Seperated from my ex husband about 6 years ago. In that time he has paid no maintance towards the DC and his visits to them have been infrequent.

He has just emailed me to say that the CSA have made an order to take £400 a month out of his wages for the next 3 years to cover the £8000 he is in arrears and to cover future payments.

He says that I am ruining his life and that if I keep on trying to get him to pay then he won't be able to afford to come and visit the kids anymore, talk about emotional blackmail!!!

I am so he just doesn't get it!!!

You're not ruining his life. He's ruined his life. Had he been responsible and paid you when he was supposed to, he wouldn't be in this mess.

sarah is right.

in fact, I think that is the perfect wording for your return email!

Well, he doesn't seem to come to see them often anyway, so what are you losing?

Sounds like he's grasping at straws to make you feel guilty, but I can't see how this one can run.

Serves the bugger gentleman right. If he didn't want the responsibility of having children he should have tied a knot in it a long time ago. Don't accept his guilt, it is his problem not yours. Bastard So there.

Oh didf*ckingums....poor him having to pay towards his own kids....god isn't life unfair?!

Thanks for the replies, I have emailed him back very politely pointing out that he wouldn't be in such a mess if he had acted like an adult in the first place

All he was every interested in was his new girlfriend and living the life on a single, childfree man.

I think he should have tried being in my shoes all those years ago when he left me with nothing.

I'll never foget standing in the benefits office with 2 small children for hours just to get a crisis loan because I had no money for even the basics.

They finally agreed to give me £40 to last me til my claim for IS when through and I just burst in to tears in front of everyone, must have looked like a right idiot.

Have to say though that having put myself through collage and now working full time I'm not desperate for his money but its the principle as much as anything

YANBU

i don;t get it, what happens to these men, these fathers who suddenly seem unable to consdier their childrens' feelings as soon as they are no longer in teh same house with them

sweetly point out that if he had paid you regualrly for the last 6 years to support his children, he would not be in this heap o' shite now

ruining his life.. he did not care about potentially ruining his childrens' lives by not supporting them