To think that anything other than a children's birthday tea is fuelling an inappropriate sense of entitlement?

[morningpaper]

I love some of the articles in this Catholic U.S. magazine, and this one I thought was pertinent to MN:

"Let Them Just Eat Cake: It's time to rein in the birthday madness and return to some old-fashioned fun, games, and values: We are raising our children to be self-centered little consumers, and we are encouraging the development of a strong sense of entitlement. When your child is a teen, how do you top the princess ball that was held for her at age 4?"

It is all about balance, if you add a big party to big presents, constant 'treats', constant giving in general then yes it will lead to an inappropriate sense of entitlement.

However, a once a year party can in fact do the opposite as it makes the child feel that it is only on special occasions that he/she will be allowed special activities/treats. I would rather spend a reasonable amount on a party with special memories than lots of money on presents that they will outgrow.

morningpaper I salute you - thanks for bringing this to our attention

I now have a justified reason not to give massive parties I can ill afford!!!

I had fab over-the-top parties when I was a child and throw fab over-the-top parties for my own children. I love parties and organising them and start at least 6 months in advance. I agree with Pagwatch. I throw parties for my children and their friends and don't care what their parents think as long as they enjoy themselves. My children love all sorts of parties and enjoy the more low-key ones just as much. We live to party

A thread like this is funny though, as what is a 'big' party to one MN is a small intimate gathering for another!

Bunch of miseries!

In no way am I holding another party in my home, the 15 5 year olds fords1 stopped that!

I like organising decent birthday parties and especially party bags but there isa limit- i'm talking bowling alley / craft / animal park; princess ball sounds like faff (and really, I think the ds's would object

Mine getwhole class parties unril 6, then close friends only. Easy enogh rule I think; ds1 / ds2 want something bigger next year but to get it theyu are combining their parties and recruiting a team each for a footie party

I've just been thinking more about this one, and I wanted to add that a friend once made a few sarky comments to me about my 'competitive party throwing', which I was really shocked and hurt by, as I genuinely wasn't thinking about one-upmanship at all. But now it is constantly in the back of my mind, even though I try to remind myself that it is probably her problem and not mine, and I go out of my way to praise her parties (which are completely OTT in my opinion! Hypocrite, MOI??)

Anyway, I think as long as the parents enjoy it (aren't getting themselves into massive debt or stressing out) and it's in porportion, why should anyone else judge what we want to do?

These threads on mumsnet make me laugh the way they go all competitive about you only gave a moldy snadwich and a cup of water to their child for their birthday and wouldn't dream of such indulgence. And yet somebody somewhere is keeping 6 pages of childrens entertainers in our latest Lets go guide so it's clearly been big business for the last few years.

My sister always has a meal out, an outing somewhere special and a barbecue at my parents' house with around half a dozen overnight guests. She is 25 this year, and I don't expect it to be any different.

I remember one year my birthday party was a 6 mile walk along the canal!

LOL Sorrento

I was going to start an AIBUM really likiong making up party bags thread last week but decided I daren't- I suspect child torturing (On MN I think that means giving a chippy tea?) would get a better reception on here.

Whreas I think that if you can afford it without stress, and enhoy gving them, why the Hell not! Chidlren grow up too fast, they want (having this with ds1- no chance) iphones and designer clothes at ten these days, enjoy them whilst they are young (and throw it back at them when they claim you're mean for disallowing said iphone etc LOL)

I enjoy throwing parties - for my DC and for the grown ups too. I think 'big' parties aren't the problem. You can hire a church hall, fill it with balloons, music and kids and it will be fantastic and not expensive. Or you could take a smaller number of children somewhere extremely pricey and spend a fortune. Which is the flashier and most pretentious?

Not yet anniemac. I can't wait

So far my DC seem to want parties less as they get older. They prefer cinema, snowboarding, climbing etc.I still enjoy throwing parties for my youngest though

Oh this has brought back memories of many many seriously over the top children's birthday parties I've sadly had to endure happily been a part of!

I'm a huge fan of a good old fashioned birthday party, they're by far the best!

I have attended somewhere in the region of 700 parties so not a beginner by any means!

I'll bring the wine...

I like good old fashioned parties too, btw. And find it hard to see the need for an entertainer.

DD loved her party last year, couple of friends in the van off to two free museums and a tea party with cake and candles in the van.

Bit of a sleepover trend in the village atm but it seems to end in parents having no sleep and children getting a bollocking, I think I will pass on a sleepover party.

It's hard if your house is small. TBh we usually have a houseful of children anyway (ours plus additions) but they are usually all in different rooms doing their own thing. To accomodate a bigger group in the same place at the same time would be impossible. Which is why we tend to hire somewhere else. And then do the party game and balloons etc. Never used an entertainer.

IME the people who do the expensive parties are people who really don't like doing them, or find the thought of entertaining lots of children for two hours horrifying. So they effectively contract the work out to a soft-play/ entertainer/ activity organiser. So I guess I have always felt sympathy rather than that it's one-upmanship.

I like doing parties so have done lots of them at home - I really enjoy planning them and being involved and am not phased by entertaining my kids friends.

DD's best party was when we took her and 4 mates to Hestercombe House nr Taunton. They ran around the gardens for ages then had a picnic tea. Then there was the BBQ up in the hills with a treasure hunt. None of them were expensive but good fun.

I invited the whole off DS class to a softplay party at the council sports centre. I invited them all because some poor kids never get invited .
It was a blast .