I met up with a friend recently. Her dd is the same age as mine although they're at different schools, (we met through NCT years ago).
Anyway, she told me to keep a certain date free as she'd booked a birthday party for her dd, who really wanted my dd to come. I said OK, + she reminded me again of the date + venue as she left my house, saying a written invite would be forthcoming, with times etc. (Our dd's aren't best friends by the way, just play together every so often).
I wrote it on the calendar + a few days before I hadn't heard anything. Was going to just leave it, but my dd's grandma was offering to take her out somewhere nice on the Saturday of the party, + I needed to give her a definite yes or no as to whether my dd was free.
Phoned my friend checking that she still wanted me to keep that date free, + got a very panicky response! It was:
"Oh my god, only realised the other day that you hadn't had your invite, thought they'd all gone out, my dh thought he'd posted them all! Yours is still on the table, thought about dropping it round but wondered if it would seem an afterthought! If you want to come the party's at VENUE at such-and-such time!"
Didn't know what to say, felt awkward but said I'd get back to her. Phoned her again later + said something had come up so we wouldn't be there, she sounded almost relieved! (Playcentre party, so obv booking numbers are important).
Decided I didn't really want to take my dd somewhere we obviously weren't really wanted, (would rather she had a nice time with her grandma instead), but wondered if other people would have chased a "verbal" invite after being told the date twice, or just have left it.
Knowing this lady, she'd have prob asked where we were if we'd just ignored the date, + tried to make me feel guilty. I think whatever I did would have been wrong!