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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it intensely annoying when midwives ask you to stay in all day.....

16 replies

electra · 30/03/2009 14:31

And then they don't turn up?! This has happened a number of times. I find it bad form that they don't bother to ring and say 'Sorry but something has come up so we are not going to make it today' - they just wait til 5pm and then expect you to wait in all day another day.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

OP posts:
Stretch · 30/03/2009 14:35

But your supposed to be resting at home with your feet up!!!

YANBU BTW! I completely agree! I had serious visiting to do with DS!!

reikizen · 30/03/2009 14:35

Yes, I'd agree. Although it isn't always possible to say when you'll be there it is sometimes possible to specify morning or afternoon and if I couldn't make a visit I'd ask someone else to or at the least ring to apologise and see if there were any problems. There must be staffing problems in your area I assume.

littleducks · 30/03/2009 14:38

Yes its really annoying, they should have called you, what if you had been worried about something and were waiting all day to ask them

123andaway · 30/03/2009 14:40

Yes she should have the courteousy to call you and let you know she can't make it. Its a pretty un-predictable job, so I guess its normal for her to cancel at short notice, but she should let you know.

JackBauer · 30/03/2009 14:46

YANBU. With DD1 I stayed in all day bored to tears but with DD2 when they asked I said 'No, I have to go out and do shopping/take DD1 to the park to tire her out but I will be in from x time' and leave it at that. They were understanding and came round later in the day.
I wouldn't have had food in the house otherwise an didn't relish being stuck in teh house with 18 month old depserate for fresh air!

Plus, when they don't turn up, or have missed you, you don't feel as bad!

Original poster
electra · 30/03/2009 14:49

Well you see I have dd2 at home. She is used to a very full day at school, is as bored as hell, and is miserable that I can't take her to the park. So she is making dd1's tutor's life a little harder by prompting dd1 while he is trying to work with her!

OP posts:
nelix2000 · 30/03/2009 16:48

Ours give you a time, not morning or afternoon but 10am or 11am and are rarely late but yanbu how annoying!!!

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 30/03/2009 17:04

YANBU - how bloody irritating. Not so bad if it's your first, but when you're coping with the day to day of other children, it's just not feasible...

nametaken · 30/03/2009 17:11
  • maybe she had an emergency to deal with.
KingRolo · 30/03/2009 17:23

Having just read Naomi Wolf's book about American post-natal care I'd say we're lucky to get home visits full stop.

blossomsmine · 31/03/2009 10:23

I used to find it really annoying when you didn't know WHEN they would turn up......

They would either wake me up after a bad night, or i would be having a shower or doing abit of tidying up (i know, i know...)

cheshirekitty · 31/03/2009 10:30

MW should have contacted you. But it is an unpredictable job. Why babies insist on wanting to be born in the middle of the night is beyond me.

Often used to do a full day shift, then be woken at 2am to deliver baby, then would be expected to do another full day shift (on community). In these circumstances, it is not unfeasible she may have forgotten.

susiey · 31/03/2009 10:32

it is really annoying especially with a toddler climbing the walls.

the first midwife that came to visit afte dc2 was born was grumpy didn't talk to my husband or dd1
when she arrived I was in the shower and we asked if she could wait 5 mins while I just got dressed and she was so snotty! she was the team leader the rest of her team were lovely and friendly.hope shes finished by the time I have another baby!

she had to do all these checks on the baby anyway so could've got on with work

blossomsmine · 31/03/2009 10:39

I always found my midwifes to be really lovely, and they work so hard, i have a family member training at the moment, so i do understand. Sorry you had that experience
Susiey

I just wanted it all my own way, the midwifes probably could never win with me How were they to know when i wanted a lie in or a shower lol!!!!

I also used to be terrible at taking babies to be weighed at the baby clinic, could never stand to see them undressed/weighed and them awake and screaming!!!

MsSparkle · 31/03/2009 10:43

I asked for a morning visit and waited in until 2.30pm. Then i had to go out, i hadn't been out for nearly a week and in had run out of food so needed to go shopping. Just as i was leaving the house, a midwife phoned to ask when it would be ok to come round. I told her i had asked for a morning visit and she said the midwife i was supposed to be seeing got caught up elsewhere. I asked why i wasn't notified because i have just sat in most of the day waiting.

She didn't give a reason and asked if she could come to me now. I said i had to go out and she asked me when i would back. I said in about a couple of hours.

I go out, do a few errands and go food shopping. When i get back at 5pm, the midwife is sat outside my house in her car. When i said about a couple of hours, that didn't mean turn up exactly a couple of hours later

I am glad that part is over with. Sitting in waiting for MW to turn up is a nightmare.

cheshirekitty · 31/03/2009 10:48

There just is not enough of them to go around. If any kind of emergency happens, they are scuppered.

I an appreciate how frustrating it must be if you have waited in all day for the mw, but sometimes emergencies (poorly baby, post partum haemorrhage etc happen. They have cut down on staff so much that there often is not someone else to do the visits.

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