To think if you're invited to a wedding, you should be able to go to the actual wedding??

[BatmansWilly]

I have been invited to my aunties wedding and was told that the invitation was for the kids too. I bought them new outfits especially.

However I have now been told by my aunt that there is not enough room for kids at the actual wedding so I can take them straight to the reception afterwards at the pub.

This means I will not be able to go to the wedding either.

Surely if you're invited to a wedding, you're invited to the actual wedding ceramony? You don't just turn up for the party afterwards!?

I'm a bit annoyed. AIBU?

Well from experience, it costs a hell of a lot of money to get married somewhere big enough for all the people you would like to invite. We could only have 40 people for our wedding so a lot of people were only invited to the reception, some of them family.

Sounds like she should have done a separate evening-only invitation for the children.

When I got married, we had to hold the ceremony in a different room within the town hall than the one that was usually used. The reason was that my mum was unable to get up the 2 flights of stairs to the normal wedding room (bear in mind this was pre-DDA)

This meant that there was only room for a handful of relatives to attend, and the people who had travelled 200 miles to be there didn't fit. (although they had only been invited to the evening do, as we didn't have a sit down reception).

I hope we explained this to everyone, but I guess there were people who didn't get the message, and probably felt equally put out that they couldn't be in the ceremony.

Is it possible that there is something like this behind it?

How old are your kiddies? Could it be that she thinks the ceremony would be boring for them, and they may get restless?

If I were you, I'd explain that YOU will attend the actual wedding, and a relative/friend will bring the children to the reception later.

Why should you miss out on the wedding?

Sally x

If you and your kids have been officially invited though, surely it is bad manners to then change the invites?

I would have bought my kiddies new outfits too and told them about this wonderful wedding they'd be going to!

It's not fair on you for them to change their minds and I'd be peed off.

However what can you do? It's her wedding. I wouldn't want to go to the wedding if they were going to be like that. Same with adults only weddings. My kids are part of me, if people don't accept my kids then I take that as an insult to me.

YANBU, bit off to invite people to the whole wedding then decide later to change it to an evening-only invite imo. 'Not enough room' is weird, surely she knew the capacity of the venue when sending out the invites? Or has the venue changed or something.

Weddings are a public event anyway aren't they? If it was at a church you wouldn't say who could and couldn't come in. Surely?

I thought the actual ceremony was a public event. Certainly in church they still do the bit where you're supposed to speak up if you know that the groom already has a wife & six kids. How does that work if it's not open to the public?

YANBU. That sounds a bit odd. DD1 got married on Saturday. There were 82 guests at the actual reception but the wedding ceronony was open to anyone who wanted to come.