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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to have had a huge cull of fb friends?

23 replies

stitchtime · 29/03/2009 17:26

i have not as many fb friends as the twenty somethings have. but, this week, i have had a huge cull of 'friends'. people i havent interacted with since adding them to my friends list etc.
also, a cousin of mine, has been saying some things that i am sure will ensure he is on the watched list of americas homeland security people. i have probablly met him five times in total, and never this century. of those five times, four were probably before he started school. i am actively trying to distance myself from him. is that bu?

OP posts:

scienceteacher · 29/03/2009 17:29

YANBU - your FB friends are your own business - you don't need approval from anyone else as to who to include.

My strategy for FB friends is to only have people that I have actually met/known at some point. I do not add internet strangers.

FfreckleFface · 29/03/2009 17:29

Not at all unreasonable. I have been considering doing the same thing.

And if you are uncomfortable with updates you get about your cousin, then don't feel bad about culling.

QuintessentialShadow · 29/03/2009 17:31

How can you be "actively trying to distance" yourself from him if you have him as your facebook friend?

Just chuck the lot. you dont really need lots of names of people you hardly interact with.

Nabster · 29/03/2009 17:32

If you are serious about what he is saying you need to report him.

wannaBe · 29/03/2009 17:33

culling is good.

I have recently deleted someone because every time I update my status she tells my mother (she is daughter of mother's friend) and it got on my nerves. I was tempted to start putting really outragious status updates on there just to see how far she would go, but figured deletion was a far better policy.

Original poster

stitchtime · 29/03/2009 17:46

i have deleted him.

but, i felt disloyal towards my extended familyl for thinking of doing so. iyswim.

nabster, i dont think there is any point in reporting him.i amsure he is only harmful to himself. plus, the disloyalty aspect of it.

i never add any person i havent met in real life. so no random strangers. but, even people whom we know, are not necessarily people we want to associate with.
so i am not beingunreasobale in delting about fifty odd people, including cousins and aunts and uncles, and putting half of those remaining on privacy settings?

OP posts:

wannaBe · 29/03/2009 17:52

the term "friends" is all wrong anyway.

Some of my contacts have over 500 friends. No-one has that many friends.

Fb is very much a platform for adding as many people as possible - verging on being a popularity contest...

Original poster

stitchtime · 29/03/2009 17:57

totally agree wannabe. the first time i saw someone with seven hundredf riends, i was shocked. but then came to realise that she basically had her entire secondary school population, plus college people on there.

not exactly friends

contacts would be a better term. i really only interact with about twenty five of the 138 i have left there.

OP posts:

Nabster · 29/03/2009 17:58

I don't think loyalty should come into it if he is seriously a danger to others.

Original poster

stitchtime · 29/03/2009 18:10

no, i dont think he is a danger to others. but, as i said, i don't actually know him.
just shocked at some of the stuff he is spouting.

OP posts:

Natt82 · 29/03/2009 20:57

I deleted over 190 people the other day. All people I had met in person - they were all old school, college and workplace "friends". I went through and deleted any that I wouldnt actually stop and speak to in the street.

and I've blocked my MIL from seeing anything other than photographs as I got fed up with her phoning me about every status update I did.

KHS · 29/03/2009 21:05

I committed fb suicide last year (oh! the drama) because I just couldn't be bothered with all the stupid requests and having sheep chucked at me, etc, and of course all the annoying 'friends' who could see my profile. I deleted all the information on my profile then started up another under a different name, just so I can keep in touch with old mates abroad. It's cut out a lot of crap and people I can't be doing with.

Knax · 29/03/2009 21:16

God, I thought I was the only person to have done this! I had a spring clean and got rid of all the people whose updates annoyed me and people I wouldn't stop and have a proper chat with if i met them out and about.
Was quite therapeutic. Want to cull more, but they were people who would probably be offended. Plus, I won't have any left at this rate

Shambolic · 29/03/2009 21:17

I committed facebook suicide last week!

I never looked at the bloody thing it was silly...

Earlybird · 29/03/2009 21:20

Do 'friends' know when you've culled them?

SalBySea · 29/03/2009 21:22

I do this every few months, whats the point in keeping old work colleagues on there unless they are people who I might meet up with again or am interested in.

I only add people I've met in real life anyway, and if real life contact ceases I delete

Shambolic · 29/03/2009 21:22

No they don't get a message or anything, unless they check their friends list and notice you're missing they won't have a clue.

So culling someone with a million friends prob less noticable than someone with only 5 IYSWIM.

SalBySea · 29/03/2009 21:23

earlybird yes but only if they try to look at your profile. They dont get a notification

Knax · 29/03/2009 21:23

Only if they happen to look for your page or try to send you a message or perhaps, obsessively count how many friends they've got and notice if one went missing then go through the list and find you gone!

FlappyTheBat · 29/03/2009 21:28

I culled myself recently and started up again with a different name/email address.

Just had to get rid of the outlaws, they are/were not my friends and got fed up seeing them there.
Now I just have people I want to have.

Earlybird · 29/03/2009 21:31

Thanks for replies. Seems there is no good reason not to cull as you're unlikely to offend anyone, and can save yourself aggravation.

2chocolateshoes · 29/03/2009 21:43

wannabe add status shuffle, then you can put really clever status things up

onthepier · 30/03/2009 21:17

YANBU! You only really want your real friends having access to your life details + pictures anyway, not people you never see!

One thing I'm not sure I'm keen on is this "friend suggestion" that I've noticed recently. An ex-colleague sent me details of two people on her friend list. To be honest I added one of them instantly, as we used to work alongside each other, were good friends but lost touch once I went on maternity leave.

The other one, I never liked to be honest + she was never particularly nice to me. I'm not going to add her, but don't particularly want my friend asking me why not! You can feel pressured.

Flip