to take DS1 (aged 4) to ballet classes with no other boys??

[Tryharder]

DP thinks I am!

Brief history: to quote the Abba song, DS1 sang before he could talk and danced before he could walk.. He spends his days making up dance routines and knows the words to all the Madonna/Kylie/Abba/Britney/Girls Aloud songs. He is really, really good - even I can see that and I'm tone deaf with the grace of a baby elephant. So, I enrolled him at a local dance school. Because he's a preschooler, the only class available was ballet and DS1 is the sole boy among all the little girls who of course are dollied up in pink outfits.

The dance teacher raves about DS1 and says he's really good and has genuine talent.

When I mentioned the dance lessons to DP a while back, he huffed and puffed and said he didnt want DS1 to go. But because DP works abroad and isnt living with us for much of the time, I ignored him and enrolled DS1 anyway. Anyway, now DP has found out, is extremely cross and says that DS1 will turn out gay and it will be all my fault.

Now, I couldnt care less if DS1 turns out to be gay or not (and FGS, how could you tell with a 4 yo) but DP is from a country where homosexuality is completely taboo. DP keeps trying to get DS1 interested in football and other more manly pursuits but DS1 thinks football is, I quote "disgusting".

So AIBU? DS1 is a bit put out that he's the only boy in the class and mentions it from time to time buthe goes to the classes quite happily and says he has a good time there.

YANBU what a lucky ds that his mum is keen to encourage his obvious talent.

There is 1 boy in dd's class of 4 year olds alongside 15+ girls.

Oh thanks Lilyloo, maybe the boy in your dd's class is my DS1!!!!

YANBU. Make him watch Billy Elliot.

I'd encourage it if it were me and do my best to win my dh around.

My little boy went to ballet, and was the only boy in a class of girls for quite some time. He asked to do ballet after trying it at nursery, and watching Angelina Ballerina (although now at the grand old age of 6 1/2 he would die if I reminded him of that, lol!).
Anyway, he wasn't that good, but he enjoyed it, and there was never any stigma attached to being to the only boy. I thought it was quite good for him really, although he crashed around all the dainty little girls like a herd of elephants most weeks. The pianist used to play special music for him sometimes, (Thomas the tank, superman theme etc), and the teacher was very encouraging. Unfortunately he ditched Angelina for Lazytown, and left ballet so he could go to gymclub and learn to do backflips like Sportacus!

He's very lucky that you're open minded enough to encourage him to follow his passions, and to be an individual. The gay thing is utter nonsense (on your dh's part!), but it sounds like you know that anyway.

DP needs to watch Billy Elliott

DS seems happy with what you are doing

Studying ballet will not make him gay, ffs.

What it will make him is coordinated and in control of his body. Both of which will help him if he does decide to pursue other sports when he's older.

It is fantastic that your little boy wants and loves to dance Please keep on encouraging him and ignore your dp!!!

There are so few boys in the danceworld and my dd is always fighting for the chance to dance with a boy. At dd's recent school dance show there was only one boy, very talented and he was wonderful. Also very brave getting up infront of his peer group but he received a standing ovation from everyone

Boys also get looked on favourably when applying for dance colleges as there are so few actually applying.

I actually think it can be a real babe magnet when he gets older, the girls at all my dds dance schools just love a boy that can dance!!!!!

There was 1 boy in a class of 5 year olds at my DD's old ballet school, and there is 1 in her current class of 5-6 year olds. I suppose the odds are there won't be more than 1 in a class of 8 or so at that age but boys who enjoy dancing are definitely around!

My ds (8) does football and ballet. So is he going to end up bisexual then according to your dp?

nope, as obv i would equally be unreasnable taking dd to socatots as she is the only girl

Your dp is going to have to get over it - his son is living in England, not in one of the countries where male homosexuality is taboo.

Anyway, since dp isn't actually around much, there's not a lot he can do about it.

Your DP is being completely ridiculous and pathetically childish tbh.

DS! went to ballet when he was that age, he no longer goes as he lost interest but I would happily have let him continue

There was a fab documentary I think last year when the Birmingham city ballet, I think, took ballet to a deprived inner city area and there were lots of boys interested and who took part.
I remember that during chats with the professional dancers one lad asked the dancer did it make him gay because he was a dancer. The dancer replied not at all- where else could he do soemthing he loved doing surrounded by lots of beautiful women clad in skin tight clothing?

I once worked for (extremely creepy) man who insisted on sending his 6yo son to ballet as a "way for him to meet girls" - leer, leer. You could try this line on your testosterone-challenged dp. My 5yo daughter has gone to three different ballet schools and there is always a lone boy in each class - usually the best dancer in my opinion.

Absolutely take him. How wonderful to have a passion like that at such a young age (though I question his musical tastes )

I'm afraid your DP is being pathetic. Firstly become don't become gay and secondly if your DS is gay how terrible that his dad sees it as a negative thing.

I am going to take DS2 to dance classes at some point.

Jeez I wish MIL had taken Mr 'twoleftfeet' Noonki!

YANBU - good on you for being a switched on mummy and encouraging him to do something he's good at.

my ds2 does modern and loves it my dd1 does tap ballet and modern and ds2 (2years 6 mths)wants to do the same am just holding back due to his age so only one lesson a week for now

YANBU - maybe you could mention it to some other friends who have boys, they are missing out. My DD (3) used to be the only girl at football club - i dont think she noticed. There is a solitary boy at our ballet group (well not anymore as there are two others now). Its just about fun fgs, its not like he is going to grow up to be a prima ballerina. But then again, he might - and wont that be brilliant!!!

YANBU - there is only one other boy in my DS's ballet class. You are giving him opportunity to do something he enjoys.

One of DS friends wanted to go with him but his dad wouldn't let him, his argument against was along the lines of 'doing ballet makes boys gay'. It requires greater levels of fitness, agility and discipline than some other sports (well maybe not at age 4 but ykwim!).

YANBU

My boy was a brilliant dancer (of course) and he was the only boy in his ballet classes for many years. We lived in the inner city on a council estate, it was hardly common for anyone to do ballet let alone boys.

He doesnt dance anymore. He went from lithe to huge and hulking over one summer holiday!

Anyway - he is a great big macho rocker with an electric guitar nowadays. I dont think a bit of ballet did him any harm in that department.

How sad that anyone thinks this way. How can dancing make you gay? Why would it matter anyway?

If he enjoys it, there's nothing wrong with it. If you were dragging him there, kicking and screaming, that would be a different matter!

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I think DP is just going to have to live with it...

Secretly, I would love it if DS became a dancer or at least was good enough to appear in shows. I was always huge and clumsy as a child and would never, ever have been able to dance... absolutely love it that DS1 is so musical.

He'll get over it. my ds, also 4 has just started ballet, and dh has come to accept it, same as he had to accept ds's love of fairy dresses.

your dh need to understand the amount of stamina, physical control and training required, esp if doing lifts (when older, obv!)

Ds told me he had been teaching a boy in his class to jump and hop, while the other boy was teaching him power rangers

My dd is 13 and has been in some youth ballets. I've done some backstage chaperoning work. You should see the boys there, they have the girls swarming round them like bees round a honeypot (polite phrasing there, notice!). The boys absolutely lap it up! Plus they get to handle lots of very slim and very flexible girls . DD always says the boys are so lucky, they get so much attention and because there are less of them, if they are halfway decent they're made.

Tell DH that if he'd had any sense as a teenage lad, he wouldn't have been hanging round bike sheds, he'd have been in the ballet!

tryharder - you could be writing about my DS1 !!! he started putting on 'shows' at 18 months. So at 2.5 he started dance lessons. 4 years later he is still going strong, and DS2 has followed him. Dance and drama are excellent at building social skills so keep at it as long as your DS wants to go. My saturdays are a nightmare ferrying boys around, but I do it because they love it and I love it cos they love it.