To charge my sister decorating fees?

[twinsetandpearls]

My sister and her friend agreed to rent our house at a subsidised rent. Because I knew they were broke I said they did not have to pay a deposit.

They asked if they could repaint the spare room for her friends son ( it was pink) and a wall in the master bedroom. I said OK but if it was not acceptable they would have to paint it back at their own cost.

A week later her friend runs of not having paid any rent, stolen things from the house and owing my mum money, and leaves a string of threatening phone calls.

My sister tries to get me to do a fraudulant housing benefit claim for her saying she pays £700 rent rather than £200, we refuse.

Being soft I allow my sister to stay even though she is not covering a third of the mortgage, because we think she will look after the house. Months go with by with viewings but no offer. My sister moans about the viewings, can never be there when one is happening.

My sister has not paid any rent when she has been there as my mum has paid it all for her. She left two weeks ago saying she could not afford to stay (bills ) and was going to stay with her dad as it was free.

We had a viewing last week from a lady who had the money to go no chain and really wanted our house. She turned up and was shocked, my sister has left stuff all over the house when she had moved out, it smelt, the gardens were over run, old fire works everywhere and litter, the rooms that she and her friend had decorated have been done really badly. Not even painted to the ceiling, over skirting boards and awful dark colours. No offer was made.

My dp is having to take unpaid leave to sort the house out including redecorating and the six hour drive each way. I have asker her to pay for the paint. She said no as it was her friend that had done the damage. I said she has to take responsibilty. She agrees but then phones a friend and my mum to rant about it and is now moaning about me on facebook.

I dont want to fall out over paint but I do think she needs to take responsibilty. Should I forget it and pay for the paint, which we will struggle to do.

at your sister. Being 22 is not an excuse.

Also at your mum for 'overseeing' the house and not doing anything about this, or even warning you that it was a mess.

If this were a privately rented property your sister would have to stump up (or in fact it would be taken out of her deposit) to have the place professionally redecorated.

She should give you the money, but the very least you can expect is a very serious-sounding apology if she expects you to speak to her ever again. Whay does she think she can get away with treating you like this?

I dont want to fall out with her, she is my sister.

Because I am the first born sensible on trillian.

If she doesn't want to fall out with you maybe she should have thought about that before wrecking your house.

It's not as if there is a limited pool of sensible that you have used up by being there first.

yanbu but, realistically, will you ever see the money or will your mum pay that too to keep the peace ? The more she gets bailed out, the less responsible she will become. You could take the pair of them to small claims for missed rent and damages if you have the energy.

tbh I think it might have been wise to have had the EA( or your mum) look at the property once she had left to tell you what needed changing. That way you may not have potentially missed a sale and preempted the dispappointment. Nothing to stop them talking to the viewer again and asking if they might be interested if you did hte cosmetic work - we offered on our house on that basis.

You say you dont want to fall out over paint, but it's not just about that, is it? Your sister (and her friend) has behaved appallingly, and is showing you no respect or regard whatsoever. Why should the onus be on you to keep the peace when, actually, you've been trying to help her and she's thrown it right back in your face. She doesn't appear to be keen on avoiding falling out with you, does she? That could be down to the "arrogance of youth" as my aunt always puts it, and she might see the error of her ways in future, but that doesn't help you at the moment, when you need to sell your house.
Someone needs to sit her down and spell out the situation to her. She probably couldn't give a stuff, mind you, but it won't hurt her to be told.
So no, YANBU!

twinset you are most definately not being unreasonable, but i reckon you might have a long wait for the money, given your sisters past record!! Going to have to chalk this up to bitter experience i think. Which makes me on your behalf!

I have BTDT with my own sister on this one. We rented to her and her DP (at less than our mortgage cost), she paid rent once (and only once), then proceeded to move another couple into a spare room (after all - rent's free, right?), then proceeded to trash the place. No rental agreement (and this was in the states so the tenant laws are different there), so I finally told her after 6 months of excuses that she either paid up or moved out immediately. My parents yelled at ME saying I was being unreasonable and it was my job to look after my younger sister. Think not! Look after is one thing, completely support her, her DP, and their freeloading friends is quite another! It was ugly, ugly, ugly! And there was quite a family rift for awhile. Still is, to some extent, although they've gone on to bigger and better scams.

YANBU but in your situation I'd write it off if I could afford to lose. I'd consider the investment of energy required sorting it out to be too much. However I would refuse any future requests for financial/practical support, and I'm guessing that there will be more to come.

Sounds to me like she's trying to push your boundaries and get you to parent her (which I think you have been doing TBH). Sounds like your Mum & Dad are colluding in this by not letting you know the condition of the house & letting her stay with them free. That's their look-out as parents but as far as you're concerned, she's your sister, not your child, and not for you to rescue just because you're a bit older and more financially sorted. Siblings should help each other out, but not to the point where they're taken advantage of.

Anyway, point I was going for, but obviously missed, was that it cost us a fortune to repair everything they trashed (walls, carpeting, rear garden shed, trees in rear garden), and we ended up chalking it up to experience - never ever rent to family or friends. Ever. We knew we'd never get the money back.

Do not let her walk all over you like this. You (and your mum) are not doing her any favours by letting her behave like this. One day she is going to have to grow up and if you don't teach her this lesson someone else will, and they'll be a lot less gentle about it.

You have bent over backwards to help her, and she has abused your help, damaged your property and possibly cost you a sale of the house. But you are the one who is worried about falling out with her??? She is obviously not bothered if she falls out with you....and seems to expect that she can behave destructively (in practical and emotional terms) and get away with it.

Think you need to make her pay for decorating, and be very cautious about the help you offer in future.

the saga continues