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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross and want to bag up my dhs stuff and put it away?

21 replies

morningsun · 28/03/2009 15:18

my dad died suddenly in 1999 and i don't have many of his things.I have his watch which i have just noticed is missing from the kitchen,my dh thinks he put it in the attic with my dads other stuff which he must have put up there without asking me,but he can't be sure what he's done with it[he says he has done something with it aweek or two ago but can't remember what].
The house is full of dhs treasures from childhood I would never throw away or put in the attic without asking so why should my few things be the ones to go.
He went a bit red when I asked if he threw it away and said he "didn't know what he did with it".
I'm not happy and have told him to find the watch within 24hrs.
I feel a bit upset about the watch and that he would be so thoughtless

OP posts:
HolyGuacamole · 28/03/2009 15:21

If he has thrown it out, I am sure he wouldn't have done it on purpose knowing how important it was to you?

TheCrackFox · 28/03/2009 15:24

YANBU, why would he put a watch in the attic. It is not like it was taking up a lot of space. Do you think he might have sold it?

Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 16:36

No its an old watch i keep for sentimental reasons.
He seems to have put the bag of my dads stuff in the attic but can't remember what he did with the watch which was in a basket on the kitchen window sill.

OP posts:
blissa · 28/03/2009 16:40

Oh morningsun, why are men so bloody useless?

YANBU in being upset and angry. Have you sent him up to look for it?

GloriousGoosebumps · 28/03/2009 16:49

Is he actually making any attempt to look for the watch or is he simply leaving you to search for it?

fircone · 28/03/2009 16:52

solidarity (raised fist emoticon)

dh would sooooo do this. The house is littered with his possessions, but if I have one personal possession on display, he ostentatiously hrrrrmphs about it and "tidies" it away.

We have had MASSIVE rows about this, as I don't think it's fair for one partner to claim the territory, so to speak.

MIL is the very worst. She won't even let fil keep his toothbrush/shaving stuff in the bathroom; he has to carry it backwards and forwards from his bedroom (he's not allowed in hers!) as if he's in a b&b.

I'd nip this in the bud, morningsun, and order him to find the watch pronto. Believe me, you don't want to give an inch on this one.

GypsyMoth · 28/03/2009 16:57

A basket on the kitchen windowsill!! So it wasn't even in the way of anything!? How odd. So dh
just decided to pick it up and move it?

lizziemun · 28/03/2009 17:08

YANBU

Send up the loft to have a proper look for it.

I have my dh great granddad's pocket watch just sitting in one of my kitchen drawers and it been there for the last 7yrs since we moved in.

I wouldn't dream of moving it.

Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 17:10

warning,childish behaviour alert!

Have put some of dhs many childhood mugs/cups etc in a bag from the cupboard and put it in the attic!
Its quite empty now!
But all the other cupboards still full of similar of course.

Don't know if am overreacting but it follows on from"chat" about pensions and poss move house.

OP posts:
Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 17:20

I could do this with old school books,book collections,coin collections,bottle collections,ancient pottery collections...yawn...

OP posts:
blissa · 28/03/2009 17:23

Is he helping you to look for it? Do you think he might have broken it or something and doesn't know how to tell you?

Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 17:35

No he's gardening with a "Whats the problem?" expression on his face.

He's either popped it in the bag of other stuff or put it in a drawer or thrown it away as he's decided its been lying around long enough.

He might know where it is and just be leaving it a while to tell me.

He's been in a funny mood for a couple of days.

OP posts:
blissa · 28/03/2009 17:37

Oh you don't need this. I hope he stops messing you around and it's found soon xx

Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 17:41

Why can't he just say "Oh I think I ...sorry,I'll do my best to find it...

He shouldn't have moved the other stuff really since the utility is full of his stuff.

I don't know why i'm so upset but its so typical and so selfish

OP posts:
mamas12 · 28/03/2009 17:47

Has he buried it? What's he doing in the garden. Doesn't he know you are waiting for him to find it, if not can you not just ask him because it's important to you. Reason with him?

GypsyMoth · 28/03/2009 17:59

Just go up to the attic yourself, this is ridiculous,and reminds me EXACTLY why I don't have a man living with us!!

mooseloose · 28/03/2009 18:24

Helloooooo - has he found it yet?

If it were me I would play sully beggars too!

mooseloose · 28/03/2009 18:25

silly not sully!

Original poster
morningsun · 28/03/2009 18:54

I asked him again has he got the watch? he said "its upstairs for you"
I said "go and get it then"
HE "you go and get it"...etc etc
He went to get it looking a bit worried ,it had been put in a bag with other things.

Why does it all have to be so obtuse??!!

So I've got it but the whole thing has upset me as maybe i'm a little overly emotional today as its a year to the day dd came back from school trip desperately ill and then was critically ill in hospital for two weeks.

On the plus side i gave her a necklace today with charms on with inspiring inscriptions and a card to hope she has better year this year.

Thanks all and sorry for moaning i know some of you are going thru difficult stuff of your ownxx

OP posts:
mamas12 · 28/03/2009 23:02

So glad you got it back. Sorry about your dc hope she is better now?
Even though he was behaving like a dick, do you think your dh was thinking about that too?

mooseloose · 29/03/2009 20:26

Pleased for you Morning - you dont need the trouble!

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