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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make DGD do the cleaning?

18 replies

Shoshe · 28/03/2009 15:07

I'm sure I'm not, she is 13, i used to have a cleaniner but sacked hr as she was not doing what I asked and not doing the hours I was paying her for.

I have written down what I want done on a tick sheet and have said if she does it properly I will pay her what I was paying the cleaner, (£20.00 per week)

BUT I will stop her pocket money (£15.00 per month and a 10.00 top up)

She spends her pocket money the minute she gets it and the same with her credit, then usually cons her Grandad into giving her more.

This way I am hoping that she will learn the value of money.

What do you think?

And more to the point do you think she will keep it up, at the standard I want?

OP posts:
Geepers · 28/03/2009 15:09

Unfair. She is a child. A few chores are good, but paid housework, is bad imo.

juneybean · 28/03/2009 15:10

She'd earn more doing the cleaning for herself.

You can get saturday jobs at 13 can't you? I don't see why not

She might take some "training" before getting to the right standard, but I wouldn't withold money if she wasn't doing it to the right standard for the first few weeks.

Thunderduck · 28/03/2009 15:11

£20.00 a week for a cleaner? How many hours did she work?

Lulumama · 28/03/2009 15:13

i don;t think a 13 year old would clean to the standard you would like

plus it is unfair , even if paying her, to make her reposnsible for cleaning up after everyone

paid chores etc are fine, but a tick sheet is a bit , well , rigid and likely to breed resentment

RustyBear · 28/03/2009 15:16

I didn't stop DD's allowance when she got a job, because I didn't want to penalise her for having the initiative to get it - I remember I was aggrieved when my dad stopped my pocket money when I got a Saturday job - my sister & brothers still got theirs & I thought it was very unfair - I still had to do the same amount of chores at home as I always had.

Even though DD still had her allowance I think the fact that she had a job made her appreciate the value of money as she could equate the cost of things to the number of hours she'd spent standing behind the counter at Woollies. Now she's a student on a loan, she's getting even more economical, and is much better at budgeting.

Mamii · 28/03/2009 15:18

I believe she'll learn 3 important lessons from this exercise.

  1. How to keep a house clean
  2. The value of money
  3. We all have to pitch in and help with the chores sometimes.

At least this is a 2 way street - as I see it, you should both benefit.

As she's into the teenage years, maybe add an "attitude" bonus payment each week?

Mamii · 28/03/2009 15:18

I believe she'll learn 3 important lessons from this exercise.

  1. How to keep a house clean
  2. The value of money
  3. We all have to pitch in and help with the chores sometimes.

At least this is a 2 way street - as I see it, you should both benefit.

As she's into the teenage years, maybe add an "attitude" bonus payment each week?

Mamii · 28/03/2009 15:19

Arse! Sorry, flaky old MN!

Original poster
Shoshe · 28/03/2009 15:34

she wont be clearing up after everybody, I always tidy before the cleaner came and would continue.

It is more things like cleaning the bathroom, hoovering upstairs, dusting, hoovering the stairs, mopping the floors.

We live in a small two bed house, and I wouldn't expect her to do the dining room/playroom ( I am a CM and always do the children's room myself)

And no I wouldn't expect her to be up to standard straight away, and would pay her anyway, but also on that thread I wouldn't expect her to do a quick shuffti round in a few weeks and her still expect to be paid.

Anyway she has just done the upstairs only as a trial run, and I must say beautifully done, it took her forty minutes (the job is for two hours, although it doesnt take me that long, and probably wont her) so she has just earned herself £10.00 and very proud of herself she is, although admits its not as easy as it looks

Maybe now she might keep her room tidy at home

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoshe · 28/03/2009 15:36

BTW Grandad says he is still going to give her her allowance, (she is not Grandads girl for nothing )

OP posts:
ScumdogSquillionaire · 28/03/2009 15:37

YANBU - I used to do my dads cleaning for him when I was 13 and it taught me a lot. Mainly, though, it taught me if you want things in life, you have to work for them. It's a good lesson to learn early on in life.

BradfordMum · 28/03/2009 17:01

Do you Do anything to set a good example? Or just boss people around?!

BradfordMum · 28/03/2009 17:16

Do you Do anything to set a good example? Or just boss people around?!

BradfordMum · 28/03/2009 17:16

Do you Do anything to set a good example? Or just boss people around?!

BradfordMum · 28/03/2009 17:17

Oops!

smudgethepuppydog · 28/03/2009 18:15

How does she feel about it, surely that's the most important question?

rookiemater · 28/03/2009 18:44

Fine to get her to do it if she is happy to, but not fine to cut off her pocket money as a result.

blossomsmine · 28/03/2009 21:44

Shoshe, you sound like lovely grandparents

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