To become silently incensed when people refer to newborns as "it", even when they know the sex of the baby

[qwertpoiuy]

My mother did it (sadly, she's no longer with us), and I frequently hear other people say it, I always retort with "oh, you mean Emma", or correct the sentence replacing "it" with her or him.
I mean, why go to the trouble of finding out the sex of a baby, then refer to him/her as "it"!

YABU - lots of people don't see an unborn baby as a 'real' baby yet. Chill.

But don't get silently incensed; tell them!

I referred to my own newborn as "it" for quite a long time! kept forgetting that I now knew the gender!

Is it your own newborn you are getting incensed about or other people's on their behalf?

No, i just got a new niece yesterday! We had a family wedding too, and it was lovely to get this news during this happy occasion (SIL wasn't due for another few days). A few guests asked about "it" .

Just wondering why people do it....

Oh, I'm just tired and cranky after yesterday - don't mind me!

I chose not to find out the sex in advance. But even if I had, I can understand why people continue to refer to the baby as "it". Sonographers make mistakes, and some people also feel superstitious about becoming too 'familiar' with the baby until it is safely in their arms. Personally I find it a little starnge when people refer to an unborn baby by name, when nobody has even met them and they are still somehow inchoate.

So while you are as entitled to your views as I am, I think YABU to be "incensed" by it.

I wouldn't worry your head over such unimportant things. Why do people have to take offence to everything these days?

refering to newborns or unnborns?

newborns a bit unreasonable i agree but unborn babies, i think is ok, we had picked ds' name pre birth but didnt call him that until he was born and we named him

qwertpoiuy - some of us forget the sex of our own baby! (Honest )Can understand why you're tired, though, weddings do that to you!

I've referred to both my newborns as 'it' just after I've had them. I had so much to think about that even remembering their sex was too much for me.

it's just because newborn babies seem genderless, and also if you didn't know the sex before birth it can be hard to readjust your vocabulary straight away.

Concentrate your energies on worrying about things that really matter (and recovering from the wedding!)

And it's better than being called by the dog's name (I really do love my MIL btw!)

Heated.

When we took DS1 to see my husband's very, very old grandad in his nursing home, Dh's grandad said "oh what a lovely little cat" and referred to DS1 as the cat throughout the visit. DS1 was just crawling at the time which I think may have confused him!

at youngvisiter

LMAO at this My newborns were 'it' for a while, especially at night when they were thrown metaphorically at DH, me saying 'have it! I can't do anything with it!' after weeks of night feeding!

Brings back awful memories, Dillydaydreamer!

I am never saying anything...and I mean not one single word to anyone with a newborn baby after some of the threads on here. Not allowed to remark, ask questions, touch, coo silly words... Jeez - watch the news - find a worthwhile cause to get "silently incensed" about.

i always called it it
i hate bean or whatever shite that was

Personally I glaze over a bit when people say "him" or "her" because they've obviously found out the sex of the baby - I can't be doing with that. Always think it smacks of a lack of imagination and/or a materialistic nature to need to accessorise your baby or its room in advance of its birth. And the bonding thing confuses me too - are you really going to bond better with your baby because you KNOW whether it's a boy or a girl?? And the common one "but I hate surprises!!" - how dull is that? They don't happen that often do they? I at least admire the ones that admit that they are control freaks. Seldom have this conversation in RL by the way - felt this an appropriate place to vent.

I take back what I say! I think my beautiful niece is going to be an "it girl"

A coldhearted, child-hater (female) from work did this today when a friend brought her little boy in........... I had to say something!

I called my son 'IT' until he was born safe and well. nothing wrong with that atall. People don't do it to be nasty, it's just sometimes better to refer to the newborn this way, or the imminent arrival.
YABU.

glasjam, love your post there, you said it better than me. I've never understood the need for 4d scanning or finding out the sex. life is better when there's an air of mystery!

I suppose I did call my girls 'it' before they were born, although we were told that they were all girls at their scans. I think it was because I had also been told that the sex wasn't 100% positive from the scan. So I felt it would be silly referring to them as 'she' for the remaining 6 months if they could possibly turn out to be boys!

Although I always thought of them as 'she' from the scan onward.

So in answer to your op.. yes, I think YAB a little U.