To not want presents...how do I communcicate this to people?!

[tessofthedurbervilles]

Want to have a pre baby party but really don't want people to feel obliged on the gift front. Lots of my friends have no money but are still the sort who would buy and I don't want them to....the whole reason I want to have my party is that they are mainly single mums who don't get out much so I thought it a nice chance for a girlie afternoon, a good giggle and free fun for them and the kids.
I don't think I am being unreasonable but how does one communicate this to people without seeming rude / ungrateful / patronising about their finances?!

Could you organise them to bring food & drink instead and explain to them it's just a get-together not a 'baby shower'?

When did we reach the stage that a pregnant woman couldn't invite friends round without taking a present? I missed that bit of change in society. Is this the whole baby shower thing? Strikes me as barking if you ask me. Is it really so expected you can't invite friends round if you're about to drop?

I agree with JKS.

me too. Just say it - it's a girlie get together and you do NOT want any presents please. Absolutely no need to mention presents or finances or anything - it's not like you are expecting presents from your rich friends and letting your poor friends off! If someone is insistent then ask them to make a donation to something relevant like the NSPCC or Tommy's Charity or something.

I think if you say no presents are expected that's enough: some might anyway becuase they want to- I love nothing more than buying baby bits and will actively look for an excuse. Maybe your friends are like me?

The key factor id the difference between expectation and generosity I think.

I do know what you mean though- for my birthday I want nothing as I need nothing. Despite my parents / FIL being poor though that won't cut it- so they've been asked by Dh to look at vouchers which I will split half between my gareden and A N Other cause

The best way I have seen it explained on invitations is:
Its your presence not your presents that are required to help us celebrate

If anyone asks what you want for the baby as a present, have answers ready.
Like baby clothes.

When pg with ds2 lots of my antenatal mums from ds1 asked - and i said clothes as he was going to be a hand-me-down baby 99% of the time so some new bits would be nice.
Only has to be a sleepsuit from George so not pricey.

Really they didn't need to get me anything but i knew they would anyway.

i would very specifically invite your friend over for a "girly night". say you are aware that you will be busy once the baby arrives,so want to catch up now while you have the time on your hands.... that kind of thing.

if you do want a baby shower type party, ask your friends to bring over a plate of food to share and some drink....even theme it in pink or blue if you like. most people don't like to turn up to a party empty handed, and asking them to bring grub gets around this.

have a lovely time!

If people are insistent that they want to get you something, ask for nappies and wipes!If you are going to use cloth nappies, you can either ask for some of those or ask for newborn disposables as (ISTR) you can't use cloth for a newborn because they are just not big enough.

your party sounds like a smashing idea.some giggles and dvd.yes do say no gifts,but perhaps suggest they bring something small eg food,drink for party instead

do have a great time!

It sounds like a lovely idea for a celebration

I would just either, say to them, or send invites and say in a jokey way "anyone with presents doesn't get in" My friends would understand i meant business if i explained it and said that!