To suggest

[WinkyWinkola]

a therapist for my good friend? Or is it an offensive thing to do? I know a good therapist.

My friend is knocking on 40. She's had a succession of relationships that have left her miserable because she thinks she prefers to choose unavailable men.

She's currently dating a married man and admits herself, it's a lose-lose situation long term.

Her life is very closely enmeshed with her parents - they even sort out her car tax and only in the last two years has she got her own washing machine meaning she doesn't trot back to her mum's to do the washing every two days.

Money is not an issue for my friend.

Shall I just keep my snout out?

yeah it's shit all to do with you really 0 unless it kinda came up in a hypothetical way

Yes!one needs the insight and engagement to recognise the imperative to see a therapist

some one else isnt compelling enough

Here's my rule of thumb: If she asks for advice, tell her what you think might help her in a sensitive way.

If she doesn't ask for advice, don't offer any. It's her life, and it seems to me you want to keep her as a friend.

I do rather think that someone who finds themselves basically being an unpaid therapist to a friend over a long period of time (ie every time they get together the friend whines about his/her problems but never does anything about them) is not being unreasonable to at least want to suggest that this person seeks out someone who is going to be paid to listen to the same old crap over and over again.

I don't think it's offensive or unreasonable to suggest to someone that it might be helpful to talk to a third party, who can be objective. If your friend is complaining about the same things to you all the time these issues are obviously unresolved for her but talking to her friends / relatives isn't helping as much as she needs. Suggesting to her that a counsellor may be able to help her sort through her thoughts more effectively needn't be offensive - and may plant a seed that will give her the impetus to go herself.

Perhaps you culd ask her if she feels she would be happy talking to a counsellor? That way she can say 'no' - and you can soften the impact by telling her about your other friend, and so emphasising that it's a normal and healthy thing to do.

Good luck - I hope this pans out well for you both x