Or rather, what IS reasonable

[SalBySea]

My DH is graduating soon, between the ceremony and meal and ball its £76 each

do we ask family to pay for themselves or is that rude? are we expected to pay for tickets for the people we are asking to be there ?

That's a shame - is there really not one sensible person in dh's family that you could consult? Someone who would listen when you said 'oh, we have a bit of tricky problem, do you think MIL and FIL would be offended if we asked them whether they want to spend £76 each...'?

I sort of know what you mean though, dh's family can be a bit like this. Too polite to tell you straight and it all gets very complicated.

dizzydixies
no I would feel a little for him at the meal if he was the only one without a table full of family and friends just because he might feel a little embarrased (or he might not care? I'll ask him)

He would look like the odd ball with no family and friends is all

also as I dont know if its even possible for him to go if he doesnt take a table. If its possible we would probably have to sit at someone else's table with all of their family and friends which might be a little odd.

scotishmummy yes he was very excited about it, he's worked really hard towards this all of his life. Its not soon but you need to put your name down for a table now

all well and good but at £76 per head I think its very steep

edam - I wish LOL

but it is fairly safe to say that £152 is A LOT of money to MIL and her partner.

Oh yes, it's a lot of money for most people. Just a shame that it's so awkward to even ask for their opinions, IYKWIM.

yes it is, on the one hand I dont wanna ask them at all because to them being asked = being expected, but on the other half I dont want them to hear about the meal at the ceremony (and hear that other parents are going) and feel upset about not being invited.

actually "obliged" more than "expected"

wish you could edit posts on here

sal it either goes
family attend meal and ball you pay
family attend meal and ball they pay
they attend ceremony only you pay
they attend ceremony only they pay

given that it is a whooping amount of money per head,why dont you have a family do and invite them after the ball.bring pictures etc of ball to include them,show them the fun