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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have given my son weapons to play with?

25 replies

pigleto · 27/03/2009 18:42

I have just strapped a belt with six shooters and a sherrif's star to my seven year old. He is now prancing around the living room "shooting" my dd (I was having a fit of nostalgia in the toy shop).

Did you play cowboys and indians when you were little? Did it make you intolerant of native americans or unwholesomely violent? Am I going to be shunned at the school gate for being totally un pc? Am I going to regret this?

(I used to own a magnum and enjoy target practice on person shaped pieces of paper before it was made illegal - I was a vegetarian at the time and wouldn't have hurt a fly)

OP posts:

noddyholder · 27/03/2009 18:44

Well no one at the school gate will know as you are in your own home but you will prob kick off a heated debate for friday night.

2shoes · 27/03/2009 18:45

yanbu

dietstartstomorrow · 27/03/2009 18:46

Boys love this kind of stuff and it's totally natural.

If you didn't buy it, they would use sticks / hands as guns anyway.

sweetcat · 27/03/2009 18:47

Well, my DS is 3 and doesn't own a toy gun but makes do with pointing his fingers and says I'm going to kill you

Got it from nursery I expect - my point is that IMHO it's the way boys play. DD didn't do it and I haven't encouraged it in DS, but it's not something that worries me TBH. Unless he says it to his Nanny. I'm sure she would have a great deal to say about it!

OrmIrian · 27/03/2009 18:48

No you're not.

DB had an air rifle, various knives and used to set fire to airfix models boats. He's the biggest wussy pants alive.

angrypixie · 27/03/2009 18:50

I wouldn't do it - but it doesn't bother me that you have. Your child, your house blah blah blah

Hawkmoth · 27/03/2009 18:57

Oh I loved my toy gun soooo much. It had rolls of caps in it. I was a vengeful cowboy (!) and had so much fun.

I have yet to hospitalise anyone, aged 28.

DisasterArea · 27/03/2009 19:03

each to their own but gives me bad vibes. wouldn't with mine or let anyone else bring them into my house.

LaundryFairy · 27/03/2009 19:05

YANBU. And recent research suggests that it is actually a good idea to give them outlets for their aggression.

Thunderduck · 27/03/2009 19:06

I personally wouldn't. When dp and I have children it's likely we'll have guns in the house, as dp enjoys rough shooting, though they'll locked away of course in a gun safe.

Our children will be brought up with field sports and we'd prefer them to learn that a gun,any gun should never be pointed at anything you don't intend to kill. I know they're just toy guns but we'd prefer them to practice this with all guns.

steviesgirl · 27/03/2009 19:07

YANBU. Better that than REAL tools that my aunt used to give my cousin when he was a toddler. He used to play with real hammers and knives, I kid you not; and used to throw them around the lounge!

My parents were very wary of letting me play with him when he had that stuff and my dad told my aunt one day when we were visiting that she "must have rocks in her head" to let her son have the stuff. She replied, "that's alright, he's a genius"!

She only encouraged his destructive behaviour though. He used to flick a lighter at his pet rabbits nose and used to get frogs out of the pond and run over them with the manual lawn mower! I saw him chuck the frogs into the dogs kennel once too, only to be savaged by them!

Real genius, eh?

MillyR · 27/03/2009 19:07

Thunderduck, would you let them have water pistols though, as the intention is obviously very different with water pistols?

GypsyMoth · 27/03/2009 19:08

Mine has a rifle. Army style. He was brought up seeing his dad guard the gates when we lived on the barracks. He plays 'army'. What's wrong with that then?

Thunderduck · 27/03/2009 19:08

If they weren't shaped like a gun, or were very obviously not then yes, if they were pretty realistic then no.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2009 19:11

I think it's a different scenario if your children are likely to come into contact with real guns.

We all played with guns etc as children and none of us grew up to be homicidal maniacs. We even had an air rifle from when I was about 10.

Pinktastic · 27/03/2009 19:11

YANBU

ExH used to play cowboys and indians in the woods as a child. He joined the army at 15 and is currently serving, for the second time, in Afghanistan.

Original poster

pigleto · 27/03/2009 19:12

My parents were into gaia and peace and made their own cheese but db and I played cowboys and indians all summer long (I can remember being tied to a tree!).

Now we are old he is into am dram and I have a knitting habit. He still shoots me with a supersoaker everytime we go on holiday though .

Dh is into all that outdoor stuff and shoots rabbits for the pot (yum).

I am a bit concerned though because my dnephew who was very into guns and ammo as a child is now flying helicopers in Afganistan (and deliriously happy he is too).

OP posts:

pointydog · 27/03/2009 19:13

I think it's fine, pigleto

RockinSockBunnies · 27/03/2009 19:16

Good for you! Boys have always liked playing shooting games, cowboys and indians, cops and robbers and many more variations on the theme!

I doubt the last 40 years of relative PC-ness towards gender stereotypes will magically erase the fundamental desire that's been going on for centuries of wanting to play such games.

Blarbie · 27/03/2009 19:18

I loved playing with guns and bows and arrows. Had an indian costume and an army suit. I was in the army cadets as a teenager, but to be honest I saw that as an extension of playing and have never been violent and was always taught "there's good and bad in all people". At 7 I had a penknife and would wittle wood happily. I don't think we played with guns indoors as my Mum wouldn't tolerate any sort of running around game.

ohdearwhatamess · 27/03/2009 19:28

YANBU. Tis a boy thing, imo.

DS1 (2.11) suddenly wants to play with swords much of the time, and pretends to be a knight. I haven't encouraged it (or discouraged it). I was quite surprised that he knew what a sword was.

I did feel uncomfortable trying to explain to a 2yo what a gun was (in the context of Playmobil policemen) a few days ago though.

Blarbie · 27/03/2009 19:30

I'd be happier with guns than swords though as guns don't make contact.

notquitenormal · 27/03/2009 19:37

My cousins and I used to use wooden posts as rifles. We would comando crawl through my Nan's strawberry patch, while being shot at by snipers who used her enormous compost heap as a bunker for cover.

Better running around in the fresh air playing cowboys and indians than sat on your backside in front of a playstation.

Realistic toys guns are creepy though.

Blarbie · 27/03/2009 20:24

I think it matters what you are using as a basis for the gun play. To me old films are great, the violence is never too bad. Of course Westerns have a lot of things you might have problems with, but that goes over the head of most kids, it's just goodies and baddies.
Age 18 computer game gun violence is very suspect though.

Takver · 27/03/2009 20:25

I don't think its particularly bad.

But . . . I don't agree with the 'its natural for boys' bit. MiL is very involved in the peace movement and has a lot of Quaker friends, neither DH nor his siblings ever had any toy weapons, and I never saw any of them when small playing fighting games (have known smallest BiLs from ages 6 & 7). They were brought up that pretending to hurt anyone is wrong, and have always gone along with that as far as I can see.

DH has taught DD the same thing. The only disadvantage that I see is that she won't generally play with any children who do play fighting games, she tends to 'make her excuses & leave' IYKWIM.

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