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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why some women are in such a hurry to lose baby weight?

61 replies

coochicoo · 26/03/2009 21:46

Or is it just me? It never bothered me. I loved my pregnancy shape, I wasn't bothered by the flabby belly left after childbirth as I was too busy looking after my new baby. My dd is 8 months old now and I'm still eating like a horse (I'm bf so need all the calories ).

I just don't get the whole 'crash-diet as soon as the baby's out / mummy makeover' thing.

(can you tell I'm watching Louise Redknapp on ITV?!)

OP posts:
Wizzska · 27/03/2009 10:47

Am dieting to get the last 10lbs off. DS is now about 16 months so I did pig out for over a year. Now I just want to feel fit again and back to my old self, not to mention fit into all my old clothes.

Highlander · 27/03/2009 10:56

But if you don't over-eat during pregnancy and mat leave then you won't have to diet as such.

Your body is designed, on average, to only gain approx 5 pounds of fat - and that is designed to be burned off in the first 3 month post-natal period during breastfeeding.

it's all very well to love your curvy figure - but you're overweight and storing up problems for later in life - cancer, diabetes, heart disease, vascular dementia.

Hardly a great legacy to leave your precious baby is it?

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 27/03/2009 11:05

I was very careful not to over indulge when pregnant.
Even when friends/family said go on your eating for baby too why not.
That is so not true.
In fact I thing being pregnant made me think twice about what I was eating and I was very healthy, maybe not so much the second time round though

wasabipeanut · 27/03/2009 11:06

I didn't see this prog but I do disagree vehemently with the idea that baby weight must be lost pronto. If people are so distressed by it that they feel the need to then that's their call but personally, my priorities were elsewhere.

Having said that I put on about 2 stone and it disappeared pretty fast after the birth - I can imagine that if I had put on a lot I might have felt differently. Incidentally I put a stone on after that because I ate too many biscuits while bfing but ahifted that when ds was around 7 months.

gagamama · 27/03/2009 12:05

This programme made me so angry. Such a mixed message. I can't quite see the point she was trying to make. On one hand she was saying it was damaging to try and stay skinny in pregnancy and to go to extreme lengths to lose weight after birth, but on the other she was glorfying it by doing it herself for a ridiculous 'underwear shoot' which she could quite happily have turned down. She wasn't promoting being happy with your pregnant and post-baby shape at all, she was making out it was something to be ashamed of.

I thought Mel C came across really well and had the right idea - it made me laugh when she told Louise to "just have some cake!"

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/03/2009 12:19

Yes YABU

In a society which tells women that being fat is hideous, a failure and a sign that you've let yourself go, and that being thin is beautiful, worthy, successful, admirable, a sign of determination, confidence, coping properly, managing, aspiration and being generally all-round sorted, it's not surprising that so many women are desperate to be thin.

The programme sounds dire though.

lalalonglegs · 27/03/2009 12:20

I didn't seem the programme so don't know if it was aimed at women determined to get back to some extreme ideal of thinness or those just wanting to get rid of their baby weight (I suspect the former). I wanted to get rid of baby weight pretty quickly because I just don't like being fat, I don't like not being able to wear most of my clothes and, momentous as pregnancy and childbirth are, I didn't want to feel that my body was in decline forevermore afterwards. I wanted to feel fit - I can still remember struggling to get up the hill my PILs live on just before I gave birth to my third baby last year - and I didn't want to look like "a mum". There's no need for weird diets though - exercising, eating sensibly pre- and post-birth and rampant breastfeeding will shift it within about three months.

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 12:40

Being fat isn't healthy neither is being thin, I think it's a case of people who are fat usually have let themselves go, I would hold my hand up to that.
In employment fat people are seen as lazy, less productive, no self discipline. None of which maybe true but it's easier to change the size of your ass and benefit health wise than the whole of society's views.

electra · 27/03/2009 12:41

I also agree with Sorrento.

Also, for some people, how they look is how they make a living. With a new baby it is very easy to forget about taking care of yourself because you are so busy and this can become a bit of a habit - so perhaps some women think it's important to 'start as you mean to go on'.

I think in the UK, pregnant women are encouraged to put on more weight than they need to. A midwife I was seeing in this pregnancy has repeatedly reprimanded me for not putting enough weight on and used it as an excuse why I should not have a home birth! But I have definitely put weight on and when I saw my consultant she said it was nonsense and that I look perfectly healthy.

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 13:04

Electra - completely off topic can I ask how your boobs are fairing under pregnancy, I should be pregnant my June and am worried about what'll happen to mine, I don't fancy getting it done again.

BackToBasics · 27/03/2009 13:47

I think most of the women on this thread have said they lost the baby weight fast for themselves, to make them feel better. Celebs lose weight quickly for every reason other than for themselves. Well that's what i think anyway.

weecarol · 27/03/2009 14:32

I have to say I was really lucky that I was back in my own clothes 4 days post birth, didnt diet or watch what I ate during pregnancy, infact I ate like a pig for near 9 months.
I had a huge bump but it was all baby. We are both healthy and happy and I know I am very lucky but my mum was the same after each of her 4 pregnancies.

Im size 8 btw and have never ever felt the need to diet to stay this size, always been naturally slim, maybes its a genetic thing. Some people are just naturally thin and I was sick of midwives teling me I wasnt eating properly when I know I was having 3 good balanced meals a day plus extras. Not everyone post birth who is back in their old clothes has achieved this through silly diets and peer pressure. My GP agreed with me at my post natal check as my HV had stated she thought I was too skinny and "obviously" not eating, the GP told her I was always skinny and had a very healthy track record BMI, BP etc. Sometimes folk jump to the very wrong conclusion.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 27/03/2009 14:43

I agree celebs lose the weight for other reasons.
Money.
Lets face it a lot of them are paid because of how they look. Well that is what I think.
for eg Myleene Klass. I am not slating her I don't have a problem, but if she is modeling for M&S and getting pain shit loads then she has to get back to pre preg weight asap.
That kind of pressure is their choice though.
iykwim

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 27/03/2009 14:44

weecarol you sound exactly the same as my sister.

ZZZen · 27/03/2009 14:44

well I was in a hurry to lose it and I lost it in about 3 months I think

however it didn't stay off

It returned about 2 years later and I had to get it off again and then ....etc ...etc

JazzHands · 27/03/2009 14:59

Who gives a monkeys.

As long as you're not so fat it's dangerous.

When I was in my early 20s I missed my teenage figure.

When I was in my early thirties i missed my early twenties figure.

Then I met DH and curved round a bit (was quite thin before) and am now PG with baby no 2.

If I carry on like this I will spend my whole life wishing I looked like I did 10 years before which is a preposterous way to live.

My body looks like what it is - the body of a woman who has has had one prgnancy and is on another. My breasts are no longer perky and my figure is more "matronly" than girlish. I have stretch marks.

And really I'm not particularly fussed. I still feel a bit wistful when I see old photos but that's normal, we all age and pregnancy and birth take their toll. To try and maintain a 20 year old physique is for most people impossible, unless they are spedning all their time and money on it and having surgery.

And what is wrong with looking like what you are? I am quite happy. To think that anyone would expect me to spring back magically after having children is bizarre.

electra · 27/03/2009 16:26

Hi Sorrento. At the moment my boobs haven't really changed but what did the damage for me was breast feeding! My mum did not breast feed me and her boobs are still fine at 62 apparently! I wasn't expecting to have another baby but will breast feed this one again if I can. I am going to wear a supportive bra all the time, even at night. I don't see how the damage could as too bad as long as I don't let them sag as the implant is what gives them their shape and in my case depleted breast tissue was the reason I had the augmentation...But yes I am a little worried because it's expensive and I was very happy with the end result.

piscesmoon · 27/03/2009 17:01

Getting skinny to copy celebrities is wrong, but getting the weight down and getting fit is a good thing IMO. If you don't you will have a toddler that you can't run around with and have fun. Being pregnant isn't an excuse just to let go-you still need to be eating healthily.

OrmIrian · 27/03/2009 17:02

Because I hated being flabby. Why wouldn't I want to do something about it?

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 17:08

Electra that's exactly the same as me, I wear night wear with built in support even now not being pregnant, of course I do want another baby but it is a concern as I too felt more my old self with my boobs back where they are meant to be
But if I have to get them redone I would, damn this child is expensive already lol

BonsoirAnna · 27/03/2009 17:15

I absolutely hated being pregnant and that was because I hated being large. I felt better the minute I had given birth, and expelled the placenta, and I felt better daily as I lost weight (water and fat) until I had regained my pre-pregnancy weight.

I didn't diet, however - I ate like a horse!

oldraver · 27/03/2009 17:16

Its just another stick to hit us with from 'thin is best'lot

I have been lucky to loose baby weight quickly, with DS2 I weighed 1.8k less three days after birth than at my booking in appointment. I'm not a dieter (should be really ) and hate the pressure to conform to an ideal weight

I remember a young girl who bought her baby in to work while on ML and all the women could go on about was how she had lost all her baby weight. The girl was very tiny but was known for being obsessed with her weight and only eating a packet of crips a day. It was totally lost on most that she was on the verge of tears and had a startled rabbit in the headlights look in he eyes. But hey she looked good

chegirl · 27/03/2009 18:15

I hate this trend. I have had kids over 16 years and it is very different now. You were admired for getting back into shape 16 years ago but now its like a requirement of good parenting.

I didnt like my clothes looking crap on me but I was in no hurry to do sit ups and go to the gym.

I hate the way food is seen as a bloody sin these days. I dont even like food that much, I have never been a big eater but this stuff makes me want to go and eat my head off.

What is going on with these slebs and wags that have bikini shots done a week after giving birth? How can they NOT think that is going to make women feel inadequate? We are going to have a generation of undernourished pregnant women and this must have an affect on their babies.

Babies have become a fashion accessory but you must NOT show any signs of actually giving birth.

No wonder Madonna just goes and buys hers

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 19:12

I wish I could go and buy mine, you'd think in this day and age we could just have some sort on incubator and visit your egg at weekends

DunderMifflin · 27/03/2009 19:27

You go chegirl - I completely agree with you!!