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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about photos on facebook

27 replies

glitterstar88 · 26/03/2009 20:23

Just been on facebook and seen that ExP mother has put photos(with names next to them) of my kids on her profile. Shes not on my friends list yet i can see all of her profile so she hasn't made any of it private so anyone can see it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
glitterstar88 · 26/03/2009 20:24

AIBU in being pissed off about it.

OP posts:
brazenhussy · 26/03/2009 20:25

Well out of order in my opinion
But having said that, i have a real problem with Grandparents over stepping the mark in general.

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 26/03/2009 20:25

YANBU at all. Firstly they are your children ,and secondly she should at least have privacy settings

MummyCharli · 26/03/2009 20:26

no not at all, my friend had pics of my boys on her fb, set so everyone could see them, i told her to either change the settings or remove the pics!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/03/2009 20:35

What's the problem with photos on facebook? I honestly don't get it - do you think paedophiles will hunt down your children or something?

pocketmonster · 26/03/2009 20:36

Complain to facebook and have them removed - when you upload photos you have to declare you have permission to display them publicly. As your DC's mother then you would have to give that permission and clearly you haven't.

Hulababy · 26/03/2009 20:37

I have photos of DD on my FB, but always set the privacy to friends only. I have no problem with this.

DD has also had her photo online on her school website (no names) and in the loal paper (with name). Again his is fine and I gave my permission.

However I still wouldn't want someone else posting photos of DD without me saying it was ok.

pocketmonster · 26/03/2009 20:38

sorry you're

mariemarie · 26/03/2009 21:55

I had the same problem with my SIL. DH had to have a word with her and she reluctantly removed the pictures.

They are your children and it is up to you if you want their pictures on facebook. If I were you I would send her a very polite message on facebook explaining that you dont want pictures of your children on there (and if you dont have them on your own FB page then you can even tell her that you dont even have them on your own page). Explain your reasons to her and then if she doesnt agree then I would speak to FB to get them removed.

I think you are more likely to find that if you are nice about it then she will understand. My SIL is a bit unreasonable and DH was uncomfortable approaching her about this but she did remove the pics.

tessofthedurbervilles · 26/03/2009 21:59

I don't think she even thought about it so yanbu but neither is she really. some people don't realise that it is a hugely personal thing to put your kids pics on the t'internet. It is also possible to not realise you have a public profile, I didn't know for ages then realised and changed it quickly.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 26/03/2009 22:12

I would be pissed off too - it's an invasion of privacy, particularly if she has put names.

I don't put any pictures of DS on the internet, or very rarely and without names attached, not because I'm worried about paedophiles but because he is a human being with rights, and when he's an adult and looking for a job or applying for uni or famous for something he may not want pics of him as a toddler being available for anyone to find via Google.

People think you can put things on Facebook etc and take them down again, they don't realise that copies of those pics exist forever somewhere on Facebook's servers even if you delete them from your profile, and you no longer have any control over them.

Tis a whole can of worms, IMHO.

Rafi · 26/03/2009 22:18

YANBU, I have pictures of dd on my Facebook page but I wouldn't expect anyone else to post pics of her without asking, & I wouldn't post pics of anyone else or their children. It's politeness, apart from anything else.

Ivykaty44 · 26/03/2009 22:19

You do not have copyright on a face or body, it is the person that took the photgraph that has copyright. When fb ask if you have the rights to upload the photograph they mean exactly that - do you either own the photograph or have you the permission from whoever took and owns the photograph.

If I took a picture on a crowded town street or railway station and then uploaded that photograph onto my fb account it is my photograph regardless of how ever many people are in the photograph.

Original poster
glitterstar88 · 27/03/2009 09:53

They are my pictures that i took and sent to ExP. Think i'll let facebook know about it. She hasn't even got a pic of herself up on there, so don't see why she has put ones of my DC on there instead.

OP posts:
Madmentalbint · 27/03/2009 10:03

YANBU

My daughter's details were found on some pervs computer a while back, he'd got them off a social networking site, not FB. The Police told me and came to talk to my daughter about it. Since then I am very wary of pics/info on the net and would be furious in your situation.

CherryChoc · 27/03/2009 10:12

Ivykaty that is only partly true. If you take a picture in a public place and there happen to be people in the background, then you don't need to get their permission and the rights to that photo are yours alone.

However if you specifically take a picture of somebody, you need to get the subject's (or their parents if under 16) permission before publishing it. If you are going to sell the photo or use it commercially then you need a model release form signed by the person.

Ivykaty44 · 27/03/2009 19:09

You need to contact the person on facebook and tell them to take the picture down as you own the copyright and not them so therefore you can take action if they don't take the photo down.

I found a photo on a groupon fb and they had uploaded a photograph I knew they didn't own and so gvae them a wraning letter and a couple of nudges - they took the photo down and no further action was needed.

cherrychoc - I deal mostly in very old photgraphs so the mode;s/ people are dead. Thanks for the updated live people info

theherbgarden · 27/03/2009 19:25

YANBU - my husband thinks people over react about letting their kids play etc. But even he has said he does not want photos of our children on facebook.

DSM · 27/03/2009 19:28

May I ask why you would be concerned about pictures of your children on facebook?

This question is to everyone, not just the OP.

Ivykaty44 · 27/03/2009 21:41

Take a look at my profile I don't have a problem

Ivykaty44 · 27/03/2009 21:44

Will add, if someone took a photograph of mine (a photograph that I had taken on my camera) and uploaded it on there fb page I wouldn't have a problem as long as they acknowleged that I took the photograp i.e. they comment under the picture this is a lovely photograph that ivykaty44 took of whoever. That would aply regardless of whether it was a child or an adult.

Dina0 · 08/08/2021 00:48

YANBU, shes out of order. You always ask the parents before posting on fb. My bfs nan does this quite frequently and we've had to put our foot down and explain boundaries.

tywysoges · 08/08/2021 00:50

ZOMBIE

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 08/08/2021 00:50

Old thread :)

MurielSpriggs · 08/08/2021 01:06

@CherryChoc

Ivykaty that is only partly true. If you take a picture in a public place and there happen to be people in the background, then you don't need to get their permission and the rights to that photo are yours alone.

However if you specifically take a picture of somebody, you need to get the subject's (or their parents if under 16) permission before publishing it. If you are going to sell the photo or use it commercially then you need a model release form signed by the person.

However if you specifically take a picture of somebody, you need to get the subject's (or their parents if under 16) permission before publishing it. If you are going to sell the photo or use it commercially then you need a model release form signed by the person.

None of this is correct. It might be wise to do so, in case there are privacy issues that you are not aware of. But there is certainly no legal obligation to do.