but what the hell is a 38 year old doing trying to chat to 9-11 year olds on a kids website?!

[tattifer]

9 year old daughter on a site called Moshi Monsters - both she and her school friends regularly "meet up" on the site after work. She uses the laptop downstairs so it's never a question of her being upstairs alone and not sharing with us.

Suddenly she started telling me about a lady in America who was asking to be her friend. A lady? Yes she's 38!

Screech to a halt.

She then showed me the noticeboard, sure enough 38. How do you its a woman? Because she says so.

DD very sensible thank goodness and didn't question my instruction to delete the message and not respond. But why oh why would you go on a site like that openly admitting your 38??

NB at least she/he hadn't lied about her age...

she might have learning difficulties and have a mental age of a child

Hmmmm I would be suspicious.

sounds dodgy to me too

purepurple I know, that's what a friend suggested but it doesn't make me feel any more comfortable.

Can you report this user through the website?

Is it a website aimed for children?

It could be just a child making out they are that age. My ds has numerous ages ranging from 10 to 60 when he joins a new site. I've always told him never to put his real name and age.

posh my understanding is that it's aimed at kids. All the other posters on the noticeboard (those that aren't DDs school friends) are between 8 and 11 pretty much. I think I could have reported the poster before deleting them. Probably missed my chance. I could investigate when DD is home later.

that would worry me, too. Could be a bloke pretending to be a woman - but then, why would a dodgy person admit they were 38? Could it have been a typo and they meant to say eight?

Website guidelines here

It is a website for children.

I would see if your daughter can remember this persons username and get them reported asap.

I had a similar incident with club penguin, we sent the messages to the site people and they emailed back saying they had removed the user.

I think the whole point is whether or not it's someone with learning difficulties or an oddball or an out and out perv, you don't know. The internet is faceless.
Best to report and forward any messages if you can.

edam good point. I think I did the protective parent patented panic routine and didn't stop to think about that.

My daughter goes on Moshi Monsters, the parents page is very clear that it's for kids. There's a Contact Us link at the bottom of each page on the site - I think I'd mention this woman to them.

Thanks Rafi and Posh, I'll check out the site again this evening with DD and contact them

You did right in telling her to delete and ignore. Also remind her of "Internet rules" - looks like she is a sensible user already

And report the adult user to the site admin.

It could also be a child pretending to be an adult. When my daughter first went on MSN she looked up the profiles of some of her class mates and at least two of them were claiming to be way older than they really are - 20s or 30s IIRC

Having said that I agree with your reaction and I would probably have done the same. It sounds like you have a sensible kid to tell you things like that.

Rather sad, though, if it happens to be an adult woman with severe learning difficuties (ie a mental age of 8). She's be pretty isolated already and it seems a shame that she coulnd't use the net for socialising. I think as long as the safety precautions of never giving out contact details or meeting anyone without a responsible adult knowing are followed, then perhaps people should be a little less paranoid.

Yes it would be sad if this individual were genuine and had a younger mental age and was isolated. But only in the sense that it's sad that such a person did not have any other support/outlets they could use other than a children's website.

But a parent's responsibility is to their child, not to a theoretical, might-be-learning-disabled-we-will-never-know adult who is on a children's website. So reporting this adult is the only option I think.

I'm no expert, and I hope I'm not paranoid, but I would think that children's chatrooms are a prime target for pervs, who have grooming techniques which can make a usually streetwise kid do things/give details they wouldn't normally offer, whatever they have been told by their parents.

So the safest way is for websites to have rules (eg no adults) and stick to them.

Joy27 I agree, you have to deal with the known facts and your responsibility as a parent. And yes kids chat rooms are a prime site for abuse. Any internet use is fraught with identity issues which is why I've taught both DDs to talk about things and when on the computer it's always on the laptop in front of me, not squirelled away in their bedroom.

SGB "perhaps people should be a little less paranoid" - not really easy when you're a parent and impossible when you're aware of the sort of the wretched and disgusting low lifes that prey on kids given half a chance. That's not paranoia - their wretched and disgusting lives are on record.