To be deeply insulted by what dt2 (5) said to me this morning?

[whoingodsnameami]

I was talking to her and noticed she was looking at me oddly, then she said, mum, you have teeth like spongebob!!!!!!!!

I am still traumatised.

these are very funny

my DD (3.2 yo) said to me a few weeks ago "mummy you are beautiful arent you??" like she wasnt sure and followed it up a few minutes later with "yeah you are BUT your bum is a bit fat" charming!!

she also said to DH "daddy i like you sometimes but you always stink of poo" i had to run the loo to stop myself actually pissing my pants laughing he wasnt so amused

xx ei xx

Ds2 asked me recently "mummy, do you have another baby in your tummy"?
Me: ...erm, no!and promptly started on a diet

DD said to DH a while ago 'Daddy, why do you have boobies like Mummy's?' He was mortified. And he's now lost 5 stone and has a 34 waist, which he hadn't had since he was 17! So it did him good really.

DS2 often asks me what colour the dinosaurs were when I was little and they were still alive.

he knows how old I am, not sure he really understand how long ago the dinosaurs were.

especially galling, he says he knows that they weren;t around for grandma and grandad

these are funny. Its not possible to have an ego and children is it? ds2 told me I looked very witchy and muffiny in the mornings and that he was a bit scared.

DD2 (7) gets a reading target in her diary each week, this week she need to know the difference between a fact and an opinion.

She seemed to understand so I asked her to tell me something that was an opinion and she said "Daddy is good looking" she explained that this was an opinion because she thought Daddy was good looking but some people might not think he was.

I then asked her to tell me something that was a fact and she said "Mummy is fat"

oh my god these are funny

I got a joke email the other week, where a very large lady is looking for her tiny little dog and eventually you see the large lady from behind and she has sat on the dog.
DS (2) saw it and pointed at the large lady and said 'Mummy!'. Charming.
(I guess that's why I have large dogs)

My little charge was counting the people in his family on his hands.

"Daddy, Sister, Sister, Nanny, Mummy. Mummy is this finger (the thumb), she's the fattest. But I love her"

hee hee

A slim Japanese friend looked astonished as she saw 2 obese American women put calorie free sweeteners into their double size double chocolate double biscuit and cream thick shakes. They turned to her and said, we don't add sugar, we're dieting.

last night i said crossly "everyone is going to bed early tonight because you are all tired, grumpy and naughty."

dd1 said "you had better go to bed early too then because so are you."

she had a point

dd2s idea of a secret is whispering loudly to anyone who is listening "mummy got big bum"

and when i was expecting dd2 dd1 insisted on referring to me as fatmummy. all one word. all the time. from about week 15 of 40

ah well...

DD1 is having some problems at school at the moment, and wants to stay at home with me. Her strategy for this last night was to say 'You're so soft and cuddly, I just want to snuggle your squishy tummy' whilst burrowing her head into my stomach (I was wearing size 12 jeans, so surely not that bad?). DH was sniggering quietly and suggesting that this was perhaps not the way to persuade me to let her stay at home.

I love this thread.

My friends was in the bath with her 2.5 year-old DD who prodded her in the tummy and said 'Mummy, is there a baby in there?!' When told that no, there wasn't she said 'Oh, that's right mummy - there are TWO babies in your tummy'!!!

Not long after I started nannying for single dad and girl, then age 4 and boy, 2 (lovely family!), we were all on a car ride when all of a sudden, girl says 'Lola, you are fattie fattie wobbly tummy'! Dad was sooo embarassed but I couldn't stop laughing at her!

I have teeth that shine like the sun

Yellow

MadamDeathstare - Love it

My DD recently asked, "Mummy were you evacuated in the war?" (I'm 37)

DD2 (2yo) told me last week that I have a big bum and spots.

So I learned nothing new that day.

DD looked at my stretch marks on my stomach and asked if I was going to see the doctor as my stomach had cuts on.

My SIL asked her Mum what it was like when she was alive!

When I got all "done up" for a night out, my DD (2) said to me "you look different mummy" - I said, is it because I'm wearing make-up?" she said "hmm.... you remind me of Granny Murray".

My DH phsl.

Disclaimer: I was NOT wearing a stripey jumper.