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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not be looking forward to having a newborn again...

48 replies

shellki · 25/03/2009 10:47

I am due beginning of May and am starting to really dread those first months. I'm used to not getting any sleep, since my DD1 (2.5) wakes us up night after night, its the constant neediness of newborns that's putting me off. Poor child, what kind of mother are they about to get?!

OP posts:

pud1 · 25/03/2009 14:37

me too. i would rater give birth to a 12 month old than have a new born. i am currently 20 weeks with number 2. dd will be 18 month when new baby comes along.

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 25/03/2009 14:40

However Shelki

Further to my earlier post, yes DD2 has never really slept much (she is far too busy being naughty), but DD1 was the most blissful baby.

She fed and slept and fed and slept and fed and slept and was sleeping at least 5 hourly stretches at 6 weeks. Funnily enough, she's now nearly 11 and has always been a lazy moo .

So, babies are different and I can't wait really.........

mummummac · 25/03/2009 14:46

YANBU as everyone copes differently but i have to say i miss my babies being teeny babies, it all passes in a blur of exhaustion and really they are so lovely at every stage, so don't pre-empt your feelings.

My second baby was easier to cope with, though hungrier than his big sister, because i knew more about it and didnt think he was ill everytime he cried, etc etc. So the confidence factor will help.

when you are pregnant, NOTHING is unreasonable

frazzledoldbag · 25/03/2009 15:04

Hello grumpy [waves]
Am also due in May with DC3 and currently in denial. I am rubbish with tiny babies who I find sooooooo dull. I hate being woken up 3 times a night to breastfeed. I hate breastfeeding (because I find it horrifically painful for the first 6 wks plus - but I'll do it probably for at least 6 months I expect). I hate all the endless screaming (previous child had reflux so MONTHS of screaming and copious vomiting). My DH is also rubbish with little babies so I just know the first 12 wks or so are going to be really hard and I'm not looking forward to it at all.
(I am however really looking forward to having a 3rd CHILD if that makes sense, and find that once they are 9 months upwards things are much more fun).
So I guess I'm another one who wishes she could give birth to a 1 year old............?
(Reading this back I sound like a terrible mother - I'm truly not and I adore my kids. I just wish they didn't have to be newborns !)

frazzledoldbag · 25/03/2009 15:07

Sorry I didn't answer your question.....YANBU at all! Good luck.

Snooch · 25/03/2009 15:17

YANBU

I am due on Friday with my second DS and am petrified....DS1 was a horror of a newborn - severe colic for months, poor sleeper, couldn't put him down for a minute without him screaming....he's still a terrible sleeper at nearly two and I get up numerous times for him. What on earth am I doing having another??

womblingfree · 25/03/2009 15:17

I'm with CrackFox - give me half a dozen toddlers over a newborn any day!

But that's just my opinion, and I know very few people who've found it more difficult with no 2, which I suppose is cos you're more relaxed, know what you're doing and the infringement of your personal space and time had already happened with your first DC, so isn't so much of a culture shock.

Take no notice of me though - I have just the one and intend to keep it that way - feel free to call me a wuss!

Snooch · 25/03/2009 15:21

Just read pheebe's earlier post:

"WOuld any of you take me up on an offer of having your newborns for the first few months..."

May I have your number please Pheebe???

troutpout · 25/03/2009 15:32

yanbu

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 25/03/2009 15:38

Hi Frazz [waves like loon] Stick to your guns re the names

Gateau · 25/03/2009 15:43

I'm looking forward to the newborn stages of my second baby (I'm only nine weeks pg) because I'm HOPING I'll be less neurotic and enjoy him/her more than first time round because I'll know what I'm doing. And because I'll also have my toddler son to look after as well, I won't have as much time to dwell on whether I'm doing things right or not! Am very excited TBH at having a chance to do it all again. (Fingers crossed all goes to plan as still in very early stages of pg)

sobloodystupid · 25/03/2009 15:46

having just had dc2, it is so much easier second time around. (scouts honour) - just see how much time I spend on MN!

mammapiggy · 25/03/2009 15:53

i too found it much easier to cope after dd2 was born (ie with a 21 month old and a newborn) than after dd1 was born, i was much more confident and relaxed, and also more prepared for everything. When dd1 was crying all night i would think 'this stage is going to last forever', but with dd2 i knew it wouldnt last forever.

i think you may find it will less stressful than you are expecting, and before you know it your newborn will be six months old and crawling around and into everything and you will be thinking 'i want my newborn back!'.

Pheebe - totally agree about the smell of newborns - they are gorgeous!

Good luck shellki

Pheebe · 25/03/2009 15:53

Yes absolutely snooch

Pheebe's home for newborns has just opened for business ...take a ticket and form an orderly queue

BackToBasics · 25/03/2009 16:11

"If it is any comfort at all, I have found having a 2yr old and no.2 EASIER than just naving no.1 as a newborn.

Somehow it just isn't so much hard work with the second."

Exactly the same for me too

I was dreading it. DD, my first baby, suffered colic and cried and as i didn't have a clue what i was doing, worried over everything.

Ds is 10 weeks old now and so is just coming out of the newborn stage and i have to say he has been a breeze. No colic, contented, quiet. Nothing like i was expecting. I am also finding second time around, i don't worry about the silly little things, i am more relaxed and am finding because of this, i am able to enjoy him more. In fact i don't want him to grow up because like someone said, babies don't whine and scream and have tantrums. They actually stay put when you put them down and are basically a doddle compared to a toddler!

Newborns over here please

Dillydaydreamer · 25/03/2009 16:12

I'm completely with you on that. I don't like the newborn phase either. 8mths plus please . Happily my youngest is now 1 tomorrow, but I wish now I had savoured her babyhood more as I don't want more children.

Dillydaydreamer · 25/03/2009 16:15

I definately second everyone saying its easier the second time round, dd2 is thoroughly neglected bless her and very content compared to dd1 who cried (and still does) at anything and everything. DD2 is so much more resilient

sweetkitty · 25/03/2009 16:17

I'm the opposite I love newborns and babies.

DD3 is 8 months and an utter delight compared to her 4 and 3yo sisters. I am so enjoying the baby stage this time as I know it goes past in the blink of an eye and before long I will have a toddler.

fernie3 · 25/03/2009 16:17

i wouldnt say you are being unreasonable - you cant help not looking forward to it, I just had my third though and its been SO much eaiser this time - she is 6 weeks now and its like shes been here forever she just slotted right in with the rest of us. yes there are nightfeeds and she has reflux

compared to my two year old and four year old a night feed or two is like a walk in the park lol

sophie

Gunnerbean · 25/03/2009 17:20

I think the newborn stage is the best part of having a child but my opinion is perhaps coloured by the fact that by some quirk of fate I was lucky enough to have one who behaved in an asbolutely exemplary fashion at all times! It was when he got to a year old that I got my payback!

But YANBU to be dreading it - if you've had a nightmare experience before, it's only natural you'll be expecting this to be a similar experience but you never know, you might be in for a pleasant surprise this time around! No two babies are the same.

Newborns aren't necessarily always a nightmare, I can vouch for that. Kids on the other hand are another story....

Xavielli · 25/03/2009 17:47

I agree wholeheartedly with Pheebe and Gunnerbean. I would have millions if they stayed as newborns!

ChippingIn · 26/03/2009 01:18

Newborns are lovely

But I'd trade any other year for the year between 1 & 2 - priceless

BackToBasics · 26/03/2009 08:51

Chipping that was my favourate year too (between 1 &2)

My dd was a delite at that age.

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