to think that most working parents do not attend Assembly and the school Easter parade?

[AtheneNoctua]

DD wants me to go. But, I really need to go to work. And I'm just wondering where I sit on the big bad mummy scale? I told her to go ask Daddy if was going. She did. He said "No. I have to work." and she accepted that. What? How come that doesn't work for me??? I suspect it's because the school has lots of SAHMs but not many SAHDs so she thinks it's womens work.

As as been said earlier life is a balnacing act...and not just about work. Some parents might not be able to go because they have younger children to care for, or elderly relatives or a disabled spouse, or it clashes with a day they volunteer or whatever.
Don't let this become a work thing. Parents cannot be all things to all people and nor should they try.

Athene - she will have forgotten all about it in a day or two - my tactic is to ask another parent to take photos/ generally report back and then tell DS "X's Mummy is going to be there and she has promised to tell me all about it"

..and I feel your pain about the double standards. I have the same problem - Daddy attending things is a bonus, Mummy not attending is a big deal [sigh].

I think it's a shame to miss all the plays, assemblies etc.....but one occasion I think is acceptable in the big bad mother stakes. I would apologise to your DD and promise to go next time.
I also think your DH should go - mine always would in the event I was unable. Think these things are important tbh.

Thanks everyone. I do go to some things. I just don't want to keep asking for days off at a new job. I go to the nativity play, and I am a class rep and volunteer quite a bit (in the evening). So assembly is just not going to make the schedule.

And, Litchik, fab point. This isn't just about work. Lots of people have lives outside of the school whether they work or not. And that is normal and not just a consequence of my selfish desire to persue a career.

I think its fine not to go to everything but you should try to attend some school events for the childs sake. I have 1 little girl in my class who never has anyone to watch her in assemblies, plays etc and its very sad for her.Her parents never bring her to school or come to parents evenings either.They must be busy at work but you would think they could make the effort sometimes bless her.

And regarding the big bad mother stakes - this will hardly make the grade at all - not in the grand scheme of things when set against such vile parental crimes as making her tidy her bedroom!

My mother worked and could rarely attend school events. But the only thing I remember her not coming to is one sports day, purely because children whose parents were there were allowed to leave early! I was VERY pissed off but think I was cross at the school, not my mother.