To be not looking foward to mil visit tomorrow

[mummytopebs]

My mil is a selfish person - to put it mildly. Tomorrow she is popping round (for 10 minutes) to see my dd as it is her 4th birthday, she hasnt seen her since xmas day, when she graced us with her presence for a whole hour! Does anyone else having mil whi just doesnt seem to give a shit quite frankly - it makes me want to scream!!!!!

why haven't you been to see her since xmas?

Could be worse, she could be in your face and criticising your every move and parenting skills?!

Could be worse, she could be in your face and criticising your every move and parenting skills?!

Sounds ok to me, she's visiting at xmas and on birthdays. When do you visit her?

Tess is right. Thank your lucky stars.

I think if I was you I'd be grateful-I'd love to have a MIL like that!

Mine turns up/invites herself all the time, if babysitting for an hour mid week will stay 3 hours after we get back, constantly makes comments about what we should do with her darling grandson (even told my husband he 'didn't know' his son as he's only a baby-he's 7) and, will behave however she wants but it effects everyone and mainly my DS.

Count your blessings, breath deeply when she's there and be relieved when she's gone.

We used to visit her every sunday but then she started going to car boot sale every sunday so said not to visit. Holyguacamole its not me thats the issue, regardless wether i like her or not it is my dd who is missing out on a nana. We have tried to make the effort but she just doesnt seem to care - my dd has health probs and in dec she had to have an emergency mri for possible brain tumour, she didnt even come and visit her at hospital or even telephone for the results - we told her the results a week later seem as she wasnt bothered.

why don't you start inviting her round once or twice a month for mid-week supper or saturday brunch or sunday tea?

Is she not eating with you tomorrow when she comes? Where did she eat xmas day?

Don't contact her and see if she makes the effort.

Yes it's good for your daughter to have a grandmother, but not if she's a rubbish one-she'd be better off not seeing her and not getting let down when she's old enough to understand.

She had her xmas dinner with her boyfriend, she was invited to ours but said her boyfriend is not very sociable. She will not be eating with us tomorrow cos she is going out 10.30 in the morning so will come and see dd at 10.15 for 15 minutes (her words). Juggling Woman i have thought about cutting contact but i know she wouldnt make the effort. My dh used to ring her and go round about twice a week but has now almost given up to.

it's best to let it go
just let yourself be led by her example
she comes for 10 minutes, don't bother making an effort for her
in the end it's up to her and your dh, not you
you sound lovely by the way, it's her loss and your dd's

I'd be glad you have an MIL who wants to live her own life and not live through you and her grandchildren. My grandparents lived hours away so I never saw any connection between being a good grandparent and being a frequently seen one. The lack of concern over your daughters health doesn't sound good, but some people only worry about things when they happen and don't worry about illnesses people might have, so perhaps she was staying calm until the results of the scan were known and presumed you would tell her the results as you wouldn't want her phoning very half hour.
I suspect your own mother is a more traditional fussing grandparent and you're comparing your MIL unfavourably with her.
I'd rather have your MIL than a granny who's always fussing and popping in.