to be fed up of hearing spsay how hard his lifeis and moaning about work?

[shatteredmumsrus]

He moans everday and is moody all the time. He hates working and says how easy I have it. WE HAVE 2 BOYS, 1 AT SCHOOL AND 1 AT HOME. i DO EVERYTHING - COOK, SHOP, CLEAN, WASH, IRON, SCHOOLRUNS, HOMEWORK AND I WORK 2 DAYS A WEEK ETC. I KNOW IT MUST BE GARD GOING TO WORK EVERYDAY BUT HONESTLY ITS DEPRESSING. WE ARE HEALTHY, HAVE A ROOF OVER OUR HEAD AND THATS ALL i CARE ABOUT.Sorry about capitals. AIBU???

YANBU

sp?

sorry that was meant to read dp as in dear partner

no but alot of people are moaning atm

Oh yes, I see now that the s is next to the d anyway YANBU, no-one likes a moany old bugger. Can you give him the exact same treatment for a few days. Everytime he opens his mouth to moan, come out with a moan of your own.

At first he won't realise what you're doing - it'll be fun

Working a lot easier than looking after children IMO.

Would it make sense financially for you to go full time and him to go part time ie swap?

Hit him with that one see what he thinks...

maybe he has a really boring shit job

Maybe he is being bullied or harassed at work. You say he is moody all the time - If he is that unhappy he should go and see a doctor. He might need to take some time off.

you know working is hard too

maybe something is happening at work

people are scared of losing their jobs

you need to talk to him to see what is going on ...

oh let's not start with the 'looking after kids is harder' card.

Agree with ruby and pointydog.

Perhaps you and your dp might consider a swap/role reversal. He doesn't enjoy woh and you perhaps might like to do that full time and he might like to be a sahp?

So it's not on to offer an opinion now?

That is my opinion. It is my experience.

If my DH came home and said he was having a bad time at work I would be sympathetic.

If he came home and said, like the OP's DH, that I have it easy, he would get a boot in his genitals.

A constant moaner is a bore, true. But itmight be worth trying to understand if he does feel under a lot od pressure.

sometimes people say others are having it easy when their life is just so awful, anything seems better in comparison

maybe he is just a moaning whingy so and so but I certainly wouldn't discount that he is having an awful time at work

I work 3 days and SAHM 2 days (with two under 5s and 31 weeks pg). I agree with jazzhands that work is easier!

But if he hates working, then maybe you need to sit down and see whether there are any other options (both work part-time, you work and he stays at home). if he wont consider any alternatives, then he should just shut up and stop going on about you having it easy!

i honestly think that if someone who is usually on quite an even keel suddenly becomes moody or more cross there has to be an underlying reason

kicking out at you isn't far but we often lash out at those closest to us

i don't think at this point you can discount work troubles

It's irrelevant people going on about work being easier. Not only do you not have this person's job, you do not even know what it is.

I'm not going to say life's pretty easy being at home with one child because I do not knw the age of the child or the temperament.

op where are you?

I'm hoping you have gone to chat with your dp and with a bit of luck work out what is going on and how you and he can resolve the situation?

difficult, but if he is truely unhappy than you can kinda understand why he is moaning etc....I mean, it must be terrible to have to go into a job that you really hate....

my dh retired from teh army last year and originally worked, in a very well paid, job wiht a security company (midmanagement level)...and he hated it so much....originally he thought it would be the perfect job, but it really wasn't...if he had continued to do that job just for the money, I think our relationship would be doomed....he than changed the field completely, he earns about half in his new job, but he can do TA now, so, is making up the money that way and he loves doing it...
he dis much happier now
I know it's a difficult climate, but is tehre any way that he could change career, or maybe have some sort of plan which he can work towards, in order to change career?

Oh, and he is working so hard, because I am now a full time student and do most around the house,etc...

It sounds like he hates his job but knows he is trapped because of the job market at the moment. It's easy then to fall into the trap of thinking your life is 'easier' because you don't 'work' (ha ha) in the same way.

I will say my job is nightmarishly hard (I'm the only breadwinner, dh is a SAHD/chronically ill/ds in nurseries in the morning and dh literally does nothing in the house during that time, so I do the shopping, the cooking, the washing as well) and I'm very stressed. I will come home and offload on dh, which is even more frustrating in some ways because he can't follow what I'm talking about most of the time.

There are things you can do. He can look for another job. They exist, particularly in sectors like mine (IT) where we're shedding contractors in favour of permies. You could swap roles. Both work p-t. He could go running to work off some of his frustration (he sounds bloody useless to you in the evenings anyway).

One way or another it's got to stop, just so not fair to you. And probably not actually helping him much either.

im back thanks fo ryour advice. I had to give up the laptop as he wanted to use it. I didt want him seeing this thread.I am going to talk to him about us both working part time though money is a huge issue atm and he earns more than me.let you all know how it goes.................

Good luck shatteredmum

I hope you get to the bottom of it all.