to be annoyed my employer asked me whether I would come back to work...

[AliGrylls]

Dear All,

I am sure it is against the Law to ask this question. The minute I fell pregnant my last employer asked me whether I would be coming back to work afterwards. I miscarried and subsequently moved jobs. I am now 30 weeks preggers and recently my new(ish) employer asked me if I would be coming back to work after my mat leave and if I was when will that be (she said she needed to know to arrange cover). Obviously I had to lie a little because I don't know how I will feel. She was very nice about it but I still felt a little irritated. What are your thoughts world?

We ask for the intended start date and intended finish date of maternity leave but it is stressed on the form that this can be revised at any time (with notice). We have to calculate two dates - ordinary and enhanced maternity leave dates for those that qualify.

AFAIK it's illegal to ask a woman if she is expecting unless she tells you but it's not illegal to ask them to complete a Maternity Plan if only for management purposes . They also help protect your rights as the employee.

is that so, lack

apologies for my out of date info

OP said she was annoyed at being asked the question as she thinks it is illegal though.

So it does really hinge on whether the question is legal or not.

Oh how bloody ridiculous - surely common sense would help both parties here by saying it's OK to say without obligation how long you intend to take - if you know for a fact you want to be back in 2 weeks then it helps your employer to know that, no? You can change your mind at any point and give the right notice etc etc, but how can refusing to even guess based on the fact that "it's illegal to ask" help anyone here? If your poor employer is trying to guess whether to take on a contractor for a year or 6 weeks how can they expect to run a business? I speak from both sides, by the way.

The world has gone nuts.

I thought that after 6 months you have to give 1 motnsh notice to return? this would give them chance to let the temp go? what the problem with them not having a firm answer? No one should be made to give those sorts of answers before they have even had the child, if you already knwo great but TBH with temps/ contractors they are used to working at very short notice hire/fire deadlins so it wont be that bad.

thank you for all your comments. I can see my employer's perspective a bit more clearly now. I will def look at ACAS site and get back.

The problem for us and a child bonded with a nanny who got pregnant was the usual employer issue of a replacement and what to tell the temporary person but also the impact on small child too. Most employees will be happy to give the employee some idea anyway even if by law they can't be asked. There's nothing to stop you letting someone nkow. Also most women have planned it - many many of us cannot live on the 119 or whatever it is state maternity pay which kinks in when the 6 weeks at 90% of pay finish so have financially planned when we're back anyway simply because that's when the mnoey runs out and the mortgage needs to be paid unless you're married to a man who keeps you or your wave is just pin mnoey or you only earn about £100 a week anyway

in the info pack i got at my booking in appointment there were 2 leaflets about employment rights during pregnancy & afterwards, one for employees and one for employers. they should tell you everything you need to know on this & you can download them both from here

.....or the cost of childcare for two full time plus wrap around care for your older child means you are working a 40plus week for only slightly more than you can get working the tills in Sainsbury Xenia!

Xenia I think peopleemploying a Nanny also have more flexxibility than other emplyers; there is often the option of allowing Mum to bring the baby with them (I know some would hate it but it is an option). Thus making it mroe viable anyway.

Saying that, before my Sister started her job as a Nursery Manager she had some gadawful Nanying jobs with some nightmare bosses 9'I know your Fiance just flew in to see you but Dh and I have got tickets to Paris and are jetting off for the week, there's emergency cash in my room, nobody else cn care so its lump it of be fired. bye' (actually it was lump it, be fired or get another job LOL).

They can certainly ask, there's nothing illegal in asking the question. You just don't have to answer it if you don't want to.

If you might not come back, I would advise not answering the question because you might change your mind. I would suggest saying something like at the moment you expect to and would like them to work on that assumption, then leave it at that. Then you can resign at the appropriate moment if you don't want to return.

If you think you will return but don't know when, or aren't sure enough to give a date (as most people wouldn't be) then say so and they must assume that you will take the full year. Then, if you do want to go back sooner, you will need to give 8 weeks' notice of the new date.

That's the right advice.

But we want women to be bending over backwards to help employers, in my view. We want them to feel a moral duty to their clients and customers and colleagues. We don't want them to be jobsworths, trying to get out of things. We want them to put in more hours than they need to, to enjoy work, and want to get back, not see having babies as some kind of skive and asserting rights. I would love more threads bout moral responsibilities to employers and duties to colleagues rather than all this stuff about rights all the time.

but xenia, most people work to live, not live to work. surely no-one, be they male, female, childless or with six children should have to work more than they need to??? that's just nuts.

'We' Xenia? or maybe you and a certain elite level employee who has opportunities to earn and enjoy their employment and put in place the facillities to maximise their potential such as adequate training and childcare?

The rights were set in place to protect people from the dodgy employers who do exist. The balance is in the middle somewhere but it's people on both sides taking the piss that led to legislation.

FWIW I can't see an issue with asking at all. As long as the emlpoyer does recognise that sometimes plans do change and decisions amde midway through a pregnancy are, at best, tenuous.

Xenia - I think you will find that it is a two way thing. If employers treat their employees well the employee will probably be more likely to give a more honest indication of her plans after having a baby, although many people genuinely don't know whether they will return or not - I didn't.

You have a rather rosy view of employers Xenia. Sometimes people actually work incredibly hard for their employers for many years and receive little in terms of recognition until they announce they are leaving....when suddenly that long awaited pay rise / promotion is offered!

There are some work shy types who will get signed off by the doctor for the slightest thing but I think they are men as well as women. When I was pregnant I had severe SPD but continued to work very hard even though I could barely walk to the staff restaurant. I had to pay for taxis to and from the station due to not being able to walk. It didn't occur to me to get signed off sick. I was just too busy getting on with the job.