to think my friend has her priorities wrong

[GColdtimer]

She is a very good friend but can be a little flaky when it comes to reliability. She has met a new man (has known him for 3 weeks) and he has asked her to go to a wedding with him in a couple of months. It happens to clash with the ONLY day our friend (who is over from NZ for the first time in 5 years) can meet up. We were supposed to be having a good old girly get together but she says she is going to go the wedding instead. She keeps saying "oh, we can see J another day" and will not accept that it really is the only day she has. Of course, the rest of us will still do it but it won't be the same without her.

So, IABU to think she has her priorities wrong or am I being a bit harsh.

She is all loved up.

I know. but what if all this fizzes out and she has missed the chance of seeing a really old and good friend.

Has it just been so long since i have been "all loved up" i just don't understand?

I'd hate it if someone examined my priorities in life too closely!

well surely if it's a few months down the line there's still a chance for it to fizz out and she can still come to see your friend (I presume you'd still let her despite you feeling she's got her priorities wrong ), and if it hasn't fizzled out then she'll have been seeing him a few months by then and not just a few weeks..........

she is in the lurve haze

you have to excuse her

Like 'lurve haze' . It happens though doesn't it?

Don't be so harsh- you never had the lurve haze op?!

It certainly sounds as though she has her priorities wrong when you look at it with how I would prioritise stuff like this.

However i don't think it is for you to decide what her priorities are for her. It is a shame that this is what she has chosen but it's her choice and having told her you htink it is a shame that she won't be able to see J if she chooses this i think you need to accept her choice and butt out

Lol FAQ, I MIGHT still let her back into the gang!

I have had it jemin, somewhere in my dim and distant past .

I have but out alicet. I suppose I just needed to get it off my chest.

I know what you mean- when you are in it its ok, because all rationality goes out the window, but when you see a friend getting loved up...!!!
We get all dogs-bum mouth about it- or at least I have been known to, forgetting the bloody stupid things I've done when loved up, including not seeing friends when I should have done.

Tis true its in the dim and distant past mind!

I think that's right, when you are on the outside you just think "don't be so bloody stupid, you hardly know this person" but when you are caught in the midst of it, all thoughts of other people can go out of the window. And lets face it, there is always something quite romantic about going to a wedding with a new man.

I just feel so bad for my NZ friend - she feels a bit crap about it.

I think its just as odd that your friend who you haven't seen in 5 years only has 1 day in which to see you. I mean, really? Only 1 day? No brunches, afternoon coffees snuck in between something else?

Can understand you feeling bad for your NZ friend and also wanting to vent.

My sis lives in NZ too and has said that in some ways moving over there has shown her who her true friends are. There are some people who she used to be really close to who can't be bothered to try and see her when she is here or expects her to do all the running (er - I have just spent 24 hours in a plane to come over here, I don't think asking you to drive for an hour to see my is too much is it?) whereas others who she didn't know so well have gone out of their way to catch up when she is over.

SADmarg knowing how my sis is I don't think thats so hard. Presumably they have chatted about the day and found one that suited them all. My sis is sometimes only over for a couple of weeks. She wants to spend most of her time with family and a couple of her best friends and then usually sorts out meeting up in a place near to most of her mates one afternoon or evening. If they all said 'sorry I can't make that how about tomorrow instead?' then she would spend the whole time here running about like an idiot trying to see everyone when actually what she wants to do most of all is have some chillout quality time with her family

I'd love the chance to get my prioriies wrong! Not a hope in hell...

I have the same in reverse, I go to Australia to see mainly family, but also catch up with some friends, so I know what it's like. But if I really wanted to see someone, I would. Granted though, there are an awful lot of people that I only get to see in group get togethers, because I too wouldn't make the super effort to run around frantically to see them all, but then I don't get upset if they can't make the get togethers either. The fact is - quite frankly - that we aren't high on each other's priority list. If we manage to catch up, great. If not, such is life!

exactly right alicet, she is in Spain for a couple of weeks, has to go and see her grandparents, DHs family, etc. She really does only have one day (she has arranged for her mum to have the DCs) and we have been saying for ages that we wanted to spend the afternoon and evening together catching up properly. There are 6 of us who have been good friends since we were at school so it is a bit of a shame we can't all make it.

lol susie!