to feel unappreciated on mothers day?

[ohtobeatrueDH]

Mothers out there - fresh from your mothers day disappointments I would like your opinions...

I tried to pull out all the stops on mothers day.. there was a massage (paid for not from me), lovely dinner that i cooked on saturday night, a lie in on sunday morning, breakfast in bed, cards from kids, chocolates, flowers, day out with lunch out on day itself and also managed to plan day without my mother so it was free of the MIL for my DDW. OK thats the good stuff...

on the down side I was anxious on saturday cos I had to look after the kids when the 6 nations rugby climax was going on as DW was out at posh hotel child free celebrating her mothers birthday... so couldnt watch it live and was anxious and nervous as a result. And then on sunday morning was grumpy for a little while as kids were up in night and I got up at 6am so DW could have a lie in (followed of course by breakfast in bed, flowers, choccies... yes I know i am repeating myself).

Lets just say that not a lot of gratitude has been shown for my efforts!!! I have been told and told that I ruined the day with my grumpiness on sunday morning (and of course my grumpiness on saturday). I feel this is somewhat harsh and would love to know what you all think.

Apologise for the grumps and then tell her you tried and surely she can see this. It's a two-way thing, isn't it. You smile through the tears and she loves you for it; you winge through the treats and she feels like it's too much of an effort for you. I get pissed off when my DP shows me (through bitchy comments or facial expressions) how awful it is to have to do something for my benefit.

Spero What you said about the overblown stuff - my DP does wonderful grand gestures whilst a friend's does the fine detail and we've both wished for it to be the other way round!! Can't please all the people...

Yes I think you do get big brownie points. THis is the third year in a row that my DH has been away on Mother's Day and I am still waiting for a bunch of flowers / card. (sniff ...feeling sorry for myself).

I think I will ask DH to come to you for some tips!

Hmm, it's a tricky one.

So you did lots of lovely practical things for her but made her feel like your doing so was in some way "putting you out".

I would say that you score 10 points for practical gifts and -10 for making her feel bad for receiving them. Giving you a grand total of "might as well have done nothing".

And as for the Rugby... well, speaking as someone who has NEVER missed a six nations game in adulthood and completely understanding your situation I don't get why you couldn't watch it with the kids!

You have to set your ground rules there is no non-rugby related talking during a match. There is no standing in front of the TV. Children are to be given whatever they want as long as they can get it for themselves

When the kids were tiny they just slept through on my lap (there was a while when they were both mascots).

So that excuse is crappy. Yes, you couldn't go down the pub and watch it with your mates, but children of any age can be educated in the ways of Rugby for an afternoon. IT's important to start their education young (ds1 was 5 weeks old for his first).

Sorry. I think you're being unreasonable (although my views are easily swayed if you support the right nation )

she's taking the piss.
what does she normally do for you on fathers day?