Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think that a 15yo should not be expected to be a childminder?

48 replies

tearinghairout · 23/03/2009 12:12

Neighbour's ds goes to an after-school club while his parents work, but in Sept he starts secondary school & will be home at 3.50pm, & they get in 5.30-6pm. They want my DD (15) to look after him & help with homework. When I put this to her, she said 'So, I'd be a childminder?'. She doesn't want to let them down, she could do with the cash, but it'll be her GCSE year so she'll have a fair amount of her own work to do, plus any after-school activities & friends to see. So it would end up with me looking after him sometimes.

Part of the prob is that I work pt from home, so neighbours think I'm available. I would be prepared to be the 'emergency' contact for school if he's ill etc. He is a lovely boy but continuously asks questions, so is quite demanding to look after.

So AIBU to refuse this request?

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 25/03/2009 09:48

Definitely at their house rather than yours. If they trust your DD to look after their child, would they not trust her with the key to their house and the code for the alarm?

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/03/2009 13:19

good point flowerey

ingles2 · 25/03/2009 13:43

I guess from the thread title, that you think this might be too much of a commitment for your dd and that, they should use a professional??
As others have said, maybe your dd can negotiate 2/3 days a week instead or a months trial to see what she thinks?
Moneywise I would have thought £10-15 a day? so about £60 a week.

BonsoirAnna · 25/03/2009 13:45

This is too much of part-time job for your DD in her GCSE year. She should feel under no obligation to take this job on, and nor should you.

Just decline, politely, giving the reasons you gave in the OP (too much other work).

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/03/2009 13:56

£15 a day - for just over 2hrs work - thats £7ph

not sure how much to suggest but that seems a lot for a 15yr

ingles2 · 25/03/2009 13:59

Do you think? I was thinking £6 really. Surely that's not too much for childcare. And it is a huge commitment for the OP's dd. It wouldn't be worth her giving up her time for pennies.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/03/2009 14:03

£6/7 isnt too much for childcare, if a exp nanny but seems a lot for a 15yr

if the girl worked in a shop as i did many years ago, she would get peanuts and have to work for her money, where keeping an eye on a boy, while they both do homework should be easier (hopefully)

mummummac · 25/03/2009 14:06

I pay £6.50 ph for an ofsted registered childminder (who then has to pay tax, NI etc out of that)who cares for BOTH my children for that, aged 8 months and 2, so IMO thats WAY too much money for looking after one 11 year old, especially as she wont actually have to do anything except be there with him. i would say £5 a day based on 2 hours work. thats still £25 a week, or £100 a month.

i get the feeling you dont want her to though.

ingles2 · 25/03/2009 14:07

yeah, you're probably right.
£40 a week then?

mummummac · 25/03/2009 14:07

sorry wasn't meaning to infer people can't work out 4x 25.

ingles2 · 25/03/2009 14:09

really?
Childminders don't earn enough do they ?
(that's not a dig at you mum btw)

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/03/2009 14:10

your cm is £3.25ph?

bigTillyMint · 25/03/2009 14:12

Could you do the job as a job-share if it is going to be at your house - she could be responsible for him some of the time, you for the rest, so giving her time to do homework, etc.

As they will need you to oversee, surely you should be taking a cut anyway

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/03/2009 14:18

why would the op want to look after her neighbours child?

cat64 · 25/03/2009 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PurpleCrazyHorse · 26/03/2009 13:21

Sounds like a fab job if she wants to do it - either for the experience or money!

I worked all through my GCSEs, A-levels and degree. Started at 15yrs old working 4hrs on a Sat at WHSmith, ended up working full-time during my gap year running a department and organising the Sat staff!

Totally agree that the neighbours child won't need this forever and agree with MNer who suggested a trial for a term. Handy money with a get out clause if it's not working or not needed.

pigleto · 26/03/2009 13:26

I think 10 hours a week is perfectly acceptable work for a 15 year old. She would have the weekends off for socializing and would have lots of money for spends. She should jump at the chance.

titchy · 26/03/2009 13:35

Be careful - if she/you are looking after him at your house then one of you is acting as a childminder and would have to be registered. And I'm guessing OFSTED wouldn't register a 15 year old as a childminder so it would be you....

If she looked after him at his hoouse then no-one need be registered.

How well do you know the family? Would he have mates round fro instance? Would she be able and authoritative enough to say his friends have to leave after half an hour for example? Are his parents trying to get away with cheap (i.e. not paying tax or NI that they would for a nanny) childcare?

Doing this on a trial basis sound sensible, but what if she didn't feel it was working - it would then be even more difficult to get out of than if she just said now that she can't commit to this level of responsibility at the moment.

juuule · 26/03/2009 14:25

Titchy, the neighbour's son is 11yo.
Childcare only needs to be registered for under-8s.

kentmumtj · 26/03/2009 14:39

i think if your uncomforatble with the idea as is your dd then say no she will have plently of time in the future to get a little pocket money job and to be honest most yung people are keen to start earning money when they reach the age of 15/16 my dd1 go her 1st job when still at school and my dd2 is 15 and desperate for her N.I number so she can start to earn pennies.

It all depends on the child.

tigermoth · 27/03/2009 08:16

I'd say you should let your dd do a trial run and see how it goes, if she is keen to do it. I have a nearly 15 year old and a nearly 10 year old. ds1 is pretty good at looking after ds2 and picks him up from school twice a week now. However, it's not plain sailing.

DS1 is keen on sports, music and drama and there always seem to be pratice sessions, rehearsals etc cropping up at odd times each week. And ds1 likes to be free to stay on after school with his friends if something interesting is happening. And I want him to make the most out of his school time - he'll be leaving soon enough. He would definitely lose out on a lot of school and social life if he had to rush home to look after ds2 every day. As it is, dh and I are on emergency standby if ds1 cannot pick up ds2.

I suspect you may end up being the one who looks after this boy some of the time. If you are ok about this, then fair enough.

And as others have said, it depends on what your dd likes to do after school. Would she feel cut off from her friends or school life generally if she had to rush off every day after lessons?

I also think the year 7 boy might easily prefer to have some time by himself in the house, once he gets into the rhythm of secondary school (and this could be in a few weeks). If he knows that he has good nieghbours like you nearby, he won't feel too 'alone'. Perhaps your dd could have an arrangement that she pops in to see him at around 5.00 ish each day (so giving her time to stay after school if she wants to) just to check he is ok, help with homework if needed or make him a snack? So less of a commitment.

5Foot5 · 27/03/2009 13:40

As tigermoth says, this boy might actually be able to look after himself for most of the time - especially with supportive neighbours he can call on.

I remember when our dd was in Yr6 and attending after-school we spent a bit of time wondering what to do about secondary. There is a sort of after-school club for older kids near the secondary she goes to but when I suggested this she was very against it. Anyway we ended up giving her her own key and she just lets herself in and is fine until I get home at 5.30ish.

nomoreamover · 27/03/2009 13:43

As others have said - at 15 I was working in a shop far more hours than yoru DD would be expected to do!

TBH - I wouldn't be happy - but thats because I am a childminder

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread